b a c k s p a c e 2 7

The Hiei & Kurama Show

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 00:46:07 GMT

~The Hiei & Kurama Show: Valentine’s Day Special, yay!~
–Cast Members:
Hiei
Kurama
Yusuke
Kuwabara
*Jesscheaux
*Suki
*Oni
*Rose
*Juu-Kun
*Sam the Security Gaurd
and Kade

. . .

AN: This was done with the help of the amazing and talented Rose Urameshi

. . .

::The camera focuses in on the stage, which is decked out in red, pink, and some white. Three extra chairs were lined up beside the other ones normally used in the show. The mahogany table in front was covered in many different colored flowers (mostly roses) and the big screen mounted on the wall behind the furniture had a big red bow tied around it. A few of the cast members are just finishing up with the decorating::

Oni: ::tacks a big pink bow on the wall:: “Hey everyone, we’re almost done decorating!”

Voice from Backstage: “YOU IDIOT DIRECTOR, the show wasn’t supposed to start for another five minutes!” ::muttering curses are heard::

Rose: O_O “Well never mind that...” ::adds a dozen white roses to the table and turns around:: “Hey Kurama, do we have–Kurama?”

Oni: ::turns to look for Kurama:: “Where is he?”

Rose: “I think we lost him...too many pinks and reds in this room...”

Oni: “Kurama! Marco!”

Kurama’s Voice: “...Polo!”

Rose: ::finds her way over by following Kurama’s voice:: “There you are!” ::takes his arm and leads him back to the center of the stage so he won’t be easily lost::

Oni: ::laughs:: “Kurama you really should consider dying that crimson hair of yours for the holidays.”

Yusuke: ::walks out carrying a green and red plant:: “Hey girls, aren’t you forgetting something?”

Rose: ::looks at the plant then gives Yusuke a ‘you’re an IDIOT’ look:: “Yusuke...I hate to bust your bubble but mistletoe is for Christmas, NOT Valentine’s Day.”

Yusuke: “I know that!” ::lecherous grin:: “But I thought it’d come in handy...”

Rose: ::rolls her eyes and chucks all her juggling balls at him::

Yusuke: ::is hit three subsequent times in a row::

::CLONK CLONK CLONK!::

Yusuke: @____@ ::falls in a heap on the floor::

Rose: “You deserved that one.”

Oni: ::finishes decorating:: “Okay, I’m done!”

Rose: “It took us a little longer than we thought.”

Kurama: “Yes, it most certainly did. I must thank you both for your help.”

Rose & Oni: ::shrug:: “No problem.”

Kurama: ::calls backstage as the fans begin to grow impatient:: “Alright everyone, we’re ready to begin the show!”

Jesscheaux: ::walks out hand-in-hand with a blushing Kuwabara:: “Kotoba yo, everyone! Happy V-Day!”

Kuwabara: “Yeah!”

Suki: ::runs out and immediately latches onto Kurama’s arm::

Kurama: “Err...hello there.”

Juu-Kun: ::walks out glaring at Kuwabara, but takes a seat in one of the chairs::

Kade: ::walks out but stops and turns around, appearing to be pulling something heavy:: “Come ON, you!” ::leans back and pulls harder::

Oni: “What are you–” ::suddenly sees who Kade is pulling on and laughs::

Kade: ::with one last mighty tug, she is able to drag her captive out to the stage::

Hiei: ::leaves ten long marks in the wood from where his fingernails dug into it:: “Hn. You foolish ningen, I told you I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE TODAY!”

Suki: “Aww, what’s the matter Hiei? You got some fear of Valentine’s Day or something?”

Kuwabara: ::laughs::

Kurama: “Hm...somehow that just would not surprise me.”

Kade: ::sits Hiei down in one of the chairs next to her::

Hiei: ::scowls and crosses his arms::

Kade: “Okay! I think that’s everyone...oh, wait...I have an announcement to make!”

Audience: ::become silent, wondering what it is::

Kade: ::sad look:: “Okay...I’m so sorry to say this, but...I can no longer keep The Hiei & Kurama Show going. It’s just getting too hard for me to handle, I’m sorry but I have to end it after this episode...” ::hangs head in shame:: “So this will be the last chapter of a legacy...” ::sniffle:: “I hope you guys never forget me!”

Audience: ::stricken:: T_T

Kade: ::busts out laughing:: “HA HA! I really had you going there, didn’t I?”

Audience: “GRR! THAT WASN’T FUNNY!” ::pelt her with random objects::

Kade: @__@ “Jeezum, one little joke and...ughh...” ::passes out::

Kurama: “Oh dear...” ::looks at the two unconscious bodies on the floor::

Yusuke: X_x

Kade: X_x

Kuwabara: “Now fans, don’t get all crazy-like just because it’s Valentine’s Day!”

Rabid Fans: ::throw random objects at Kuwabara:: “YOU SHUT YOUR BAKA MOUTH!”

Kuwabara: ::dodges objects:: O_O “Gawd they’re violent today!”

::Suddenly a bright light shines on the audience::

Sam: ::jumps out of the shadows:: “HEY, CALM DOWN UP THERE!”

Rabid Fans: “NOOOOOOO!” ::all blow raspberries::

Sam: ::looks at her pet lobster:: “Should I give ‘em the ‘treatment’?”

Lobster: ::does not respond::

Sam: “Okay, I’ll give ‘em the ‘treatment’!” ::looks at the Rabid Fans and does the ‘crazy eyes’ thing::

Rabid Fans: ::lean back in their chairs:: O_O

Sam: “That’s more like it! Now I don’t wanna have to tell you all again!” ::sees a shadow go by backstage:: O.O “WHO ARE YOU?! STOP!! NOW! Hey, get back here!” ::goes to chase after the shadow:: “If you’re a fangirl trying to sneak in, it’s not gonna work! You’re going to have to get past ME first!”

All: O_O

Kade: ::wakes up:: “Uhhh...what happened?” ::sees the random junk piled around her, some have dents in them from when they collided with her skull:: “Oh...that.” ::gets up and goes to sit in a chair, lightly kicking Yusuke on her way over to wake him up::

Yusuke: ::sits up with three large lumps on his head:: “Huh? Where am I?”

Suki: ::smirk:: “In Hell!”

Yusuke: O_O

Jesscheaux: ::laughs:: “Poor Yu-ster! You’re on the stage, and we’ve already started the show.”

Yusuke: ::blinks:: “Really?” ::jumps up:: “What was I doing on the floor?”

All: ::roll their eyes and try to hold in laughter...but they all fail:: XD

Yusuke: ::confused:: “O...kay...are you gonna introduce the guests yet?”

Kurama: “Well alright, I suppose now would be a good time to introduce our guests for today. Please welcome three of the main characters of Yu-Gi-Oh, the wonderful show the Kade cannot get enough of...and now I give you, the quiet and soft-spoken Ryou Bakura!”

Ryou: ::walks out onto the stage, smiling politely and waving to the audience:: “Hello.”

Kurama: ::continues:: “The psychotically evil Yami Bakura!”

::Nothing::

Kurama: ::waits::

::Still nothing::

Kurama: “Erm...and lastly, the sadistically evil Marik Ishtar!”

::Nothing::

Kurama: ::waits::

::Still nothing::

Kurama: “What’s going on back there?”

Kade: “Yeah, what gives? Weren’t they just with you, Ryou?”

Ryou: “Yes, a moment ago they were. Oh dear...I hope they’re not getting into trouble again...”

Hiei: “Hn! If they had any sense, they ran far far away from this hell-hole!”

Sam’s Voice: “GOTCHA!!” ::laughter:: “Thought you could get away from me, didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU?! But you underestimated my security skills and now you’re mine!”

All: O.o

Jesscheaux: “What’s she talking about?”

Sam: ::comes in dragging Bakura and Marik by the collars:: “I found these two backstage creating a ruckus and fighting with each other...and I think they stole Oni’s Sake collection.”

Oni: “WHAT?!?!” >_<# “Why you–” ::jumps up and has to be restrained by Kurama::

----->Off Somewhere Else<-----

Mysterious Girl #1: ::dressed in black cloak:: “Is this where all the bishies come?” ::looks up at the studio to a big sign that says ‘Hiei & Kurama Show Here’ in neon letters with a large arrow pointing to the building and squeals in delight:: “OMG! I like, canNOT wait to glomp my precious fluffy Hiei-sama!

Mysterious Girl #2: ::also dressed in black cloak:: ::adjusts her glasses:: “Me neither!” ::jumps up and down:: “Oohhh, I can’t wait to see Kurama!!”

Mysterious Girl #1: “Like OMG Vicky, they are going to like, fall TOTALLY in love with us!”

Mysterious Girl #2: “OMG Lizzy, you’re TOTALLY RIGHT!”

Lizzy: “Like, how do we get INSIDE this place anyway?”

Vicky: “Like, I think there’s something called a ‘door’ that’s supposed to be around here somewhere...I wonder where it is!”

Lizzy: ::starts walking and runs into the building:: “Like, ouch! I can’t see very well with this cloak on!”

Vicky: “Remind me why we’re wearing them in the first place?”

Lizzy: “Because it is so totally sneakier this way, Vicky!”

Vicky: “Oh yes!” ^__^ “But how are the hott anime bishies going to like, recognize us with these cloaks on?”

Lizzy: T_T “You’re right! OMG! We have to take them off!” ::grabs the cloak, tries to take it off over her head, but trips and falls onto the ground in the process:: “Like, ouchie MAJOR!”

Vicky: “Are you alright? Like, I can’t win Kurama’s heart all alone you know!” ::helps her up::

Lizzy: “Like thanks Vicky!” ^_^ “I am so totally perfectly fine now!” ::she has shoulder-length, light brown hair with natural blond highlights and hazel eyes, dressed in a belted denim mini skirt and a light pink t-shirt with a big red heart and the words ‘I wuv Bishounen’ on it. She’s also wearing black flip-flop sandals::

Vicky: ::removes her own black cloak:: “Like you’re totally welcome Lizzy!” ::she has short red hair that comes down to her ears and green eyes, dressed in tan capri pants and a light pink t-shirt like Lizzy’s that had the red heart and words ‘I wuv Bishounen’ on it, plus white flip-flop sandals::

Lizzy: ::starts sniffing the air:: “Like OMG Vicky...I think I can smell my Fluffy-wuffy sweetie-honey-pie Hee-kins! Oh, SQUEE!!”

Vicky: ::also sniffs the air:: “AHHH!! KURAMA! I can smell his shampoo!!” ::swoon:: “We have to find a way in, Lizzy!”

Lizzy: “Like OMG I know!”

Vicky: ::points to one end of the building:: “Hey, isn’t that one of those ‘doors’ we’ve heard about?”

Lizzy: “Oh my Hiei, Vicky you’re right!”

Vicky: ::grabs Lizzy’s arm:: “Come on, our bishounen await! It’s Valentine’s Day, let’s not keep our loves waiting any longer!”

----->Back To The Show<-----

Kurama: ::has managed to get Oni to sit still in the chair:: “Don’t worry Oni, I will make sure that all of your Sake is restored.” ::turns to Marik and Bakura, who do not look very happy to be on the show:: “Please, have a seat.”

Marik: “Fine.” ::sits down::

Bakura: ::scowls at them all, but takes a seat as well::

Yusuke: ::snickers:: “Hey Marik, what’s with the hoochie look?”

Marik: ::looks down at the sleeveless white hoody he wears that just happens to be a bit short:: “Do you have a problem with the way I dress?”

Yusuke: ::laughs harder:: “Hoochie!”

Marik: >_<# “I’LL TEACH YOU TO CALL ME A HOOCHIE!” ::jumps out of the chair and nearly strangles Yusuke::

Kade: ::summons Author Powers to separate the two of them:: “Knock it off! Yusuke don’t make fun of his shirt, okay? He’s wearing it because the writer happens to like it.”

Yusuke: ::sweatdrop:: “But I thought YOU were the writer...”

Kade: “Can’t I ever talk about myself in third person?”

Yusuke: -_-

Bakura: ::is wearing the green shirt and the blue jeans, not that dorky white sweater:: “You mortals are pathetic beings indeed!” ::evil laughter::

Kade: “You’re so cool, Bakura!” ::glomps him::

Bakura: O_o OFF! NOW! ::pries her off of him::

Ryou: ::is wearing that dorky white sweater:: “Hey, would anyone mind terribly if I sang a song?”

All: O_O

Suki: “Knock yourself out.”

Oni: “Yeah, go ahead.”

Ryou: ^_^ “Alright! May I have a microphone please?”

Jesscheaux: ::tosses him a microphone:: “There ya go.”

Ryou: “I am now going to sing to you all my favorite song!” ::clears throat and cues music::
“I'm me
Me be
Goddamn
I am
I can
Sing and
Hear me
Know me
If you want to destroy my sweater
Hold this thread as I walk away
Oh no
It go
It gone
Bye-bye
Who I
I think
I sink
And I die
If you want to destroy my sweater
Hold this thread as I walk away
Watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked
Lying on the floor
I've come undone
If you want to destroy my sweater
Hold this thread as I walk away
Watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked
Lying on the floor
I've come undone
I don't want to destroy your tank-top
Let's be friends and just walk away
It's good to see you lying there in your Superman skivvies
Lying on the floor
I've come undone.” ::bows::

All: O_O

Bakura: “I don’t know you.”

Audience: ::claps and cheers:: “GO RYOU!!”

Ryou’s Fangirls: “OMG!!! THAT WAS SOOOOOOOO GOOD!! YOU’RE AWWWESOOMME!! I LOVE YOU!! AAAHHH!!” ::faint as they think about unraveling his sweater::

Marik: “What the hell possessed him to do that?”

Bakura: “Not me.”

Oni: “Oh, ha ha...” ::rolls eyes::

Kade: “It was a request from V.M. and Jay...pretty funny!” ::laughs:: “Aw, good job Ryou!”

Ryou: ::beams:: “Thank you!”

Kurama: “Well...shall we get to the questions now?”

Rose: “Yeah, better get this show on the road.”

Ryou: “I can go get the mail cart for you all!” ^_^ ::takes off his sweater and runs backstage::

Ryou’s Fangirls: “AAAHHHHHH!!!! HE TOOK OFF HIS SWEATER!!” ::begin killing each other over who should get the sweater::

Marik: ::looks at Bakura:: “Alright, what did you put in his cereal this morning?”

Bakura: ::tries to look innocent (pfft! XD yeah right):: “I did nothing!”

Sam: ::trying to keep the fangirls under control:: “CALM DOWN UP THERE!” ::swats at them with a broom::

Ryou: ::comes back pushing the cart:: “Here you are.”

Yusuke: “I wanna read a letter!”

Oni: “You know the drill, guests read the first letter.”

Yusuke: “Fine...” ::crosses his arms::

Girl In Audience: “YUSUKE I LOVE YOU!”

Yusuke: “Huh?” ::looks up:: “Who said that?”

Girl In Audience: “Me, my name is Melissa!” ::waves:: “I’m a Yusuke-holic, I LOVE YOU!”

Yusuke: ::flattered:: “Yusuke-holic? Cool!!”

Melissa: ^_^ “GO YUSUKE, YOU ROCK!” ::waves a green flag with Yusuke’s face on it::

Yusuke: ::cocky grin:: “Hear that you guys? A Yusuke-holic!” ::proud smile:: “Never heard of any Hiei-holics, or Kurama-holics huh?” ::crosses his arms::

Rose: “Get over yourself!” ::pokes him in the ribs::

Suki: “Go ahead and read a letter, Ryou.”

Ryou: “Alright.” ::picks out a letter to read:: “This letter is from Kinryou, who has written ‘I have finally decided to send questions! Kuwabara: What's the best you have ever done on a test? Is 7% the best you can do? Yusuke: Why do you work for a toddler? Some of us really are lost here. Kurama: With all those fangirls, how do you manage to take those long-as-hell showers? Also, don't you ever consider the fact that some people need to use the bathroom and can't wait a whole week until you are don primping? Hiei: A bandit told me that you bit his finger when you were a kid. Tell me, is that true? I deserve to know after all the times you have summoned me to do all the dirty work in your fights. Yes, I am the Kokuryuu (Dragon of the Darkness Flame) that you always rely on. Kade: How do you get an audience after the millions that were killed? I should know about that considering SOMEONE just HAD to summon me because he was too damn lazy to do it himself! Also, did you know that I brought Yami with me so he could sing "Your Song" (it was in Moulin Rouge if that helps at all) in your honor. *listens to Yami belt it out* I am personally not a big love song fan, but maybe you do like that sort of thing when it's coming from him. BTW, thanks for letting me go to the party with Sesshoumaru-sama. I'm surprised I get to go with one of the most popular bishounen in history. All the former-guests: How come all of you are somehow in the audience whenever someone asks you a question and you aren't the guest. Vegeta, why do you always have to yell, even if someone is not dissing the "almighty" saiyan prince? To Ryou: Why do you wear that Millennium Ring if your alter-ego always possesses you? If it keeps on magically coming back onto your neck, you should just toss it into a volcano. Unless you are beginning to like being a tough crook. To Thief King Bakura: If memory serves, you cut yourself when you made a pact with Malik. Just wondering how did you get the knife? It's not like they fall off of trees. They're not sold in every shop either! To Malik/Marik...which ever you prefer: Did you know that Shadi lied to you about who killed your father? If already knew that, what did you do to the creep? To anyone from Yu-Gi-Oh!: What do you think about the dubbers editing the shit out of your show? I personally laughed my ass off when they showed people pointing fingers instead of guns. Thanks, The Invincible Kinryou of the Darkness Flame.’” ::is out of breath:: “Whew...”

Kuwabara: “No, I’ve gotten higher than 7% before, believe it or not. Once I got a 15% on a history test!” ::beams proudly::

Juu-Kun: “Hm, Hell must be freezing over then.”

Kuwabara: ::glares::

Yusuke: ::scratches his head:: “I always wondered the same thing...I guess I kinda have to since he brought me back to life and all...it’s the least I can do.” ::shrugs::

Kurama: ::blush:: “It’s very hard to escape the fangirls long enough to take a shower...it’s really the only time that they cannot disturb me, so that is part of the reason for taking so long in the bathroom. I am truly sorry to inconvenience anyone, although I have managed to decrease the amount of time spent in the bathroom from two and a half hours to two hours and fifteen minutes.”

Hiei: “Hn. So what if I did bite his finger? He probably deserved it for bringing his finger near my face, and it’s a wonder I didn’t kill him.” ::smirks, and then scowls:: “Wait...when did you learn to write?”

Yusuke: “Like YOU can, Hiei?”

Hiei: ::glares at Yusuke:: “I wouldn’t be talking if I were you.”

Kade: ::looks at them:: “A-hem! Quiet you two! ...Anywayz, well getting an audience was the easy part–the fangirls just kinda flocked back to us. Getting permission to let them stay was the hard part...you never want to tangle with the guys in suits, they’re pretty uptight!” ::listens to Yami sing:: “Hey thanks, that was great!” ^__^ “And you’re welcome, Sesshoumaru won’t say it but I’m pretty sure he’s looking forward to the party.”

Former Guests: ::all stand up:: “We don’t know, somehow we just get summoned here whenever somebody asks us a question.”

Vegeta: “I CAN YELL WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT BECAUSE I AM THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS!!”

Hiei: “Hn, it’s that stupid ningen again.”

Vegeta: >_<# “NINGEN?!?!?! OH THAT’S IT, I’LL TEACH YOU TO DISRESPECT ROYALTY!! YOU’RE GOING DOWN YOU FIRE BAKA!!” ::dives onto Hiei and they start rolling around on the floor fighting with each other::

All: O_O ::watch Vegeta and Hiei wrestling and beating the crap out of each other::

Kurama: “Shouldn’t we put a stop to this?”

Yusuke: “Nah, let ‘em go! Long as they don’t kill each other.”

Kurama: ::sweatdrop::

Ryou: “Well, I just can’t seem to ever get rid of the Ring. Tossing it in a volcano is a good idea...I haven’t tried it yet...”

Bakura: ::glares:: “Don’t you dare!”

Ryou: ^_^ ::holds up his hands innocently:: “I didn’t say I was going to...well, I’ve grown used to Bakura anyway. He doesn’t bother me as much as he used to.”

Bakura: “Hmph, that can change!” ::laughs evilly:: “And in reply to the question, I always manage to have a knife on me somehow. I’m quite talented that way.” ::smirk::

Marik: “Shadi did WHAT?!” ::stands up and knocks the chair over:: “I’LL KILL THAT BASTARD!!” ::spazzes out and transforms into Yami Marik::

Yami Marik: ::evillest smirk you could ever imagine:: “I haven’t killed anyone in a while...I should enjoy this very much. For too long that fool Marik has held me back, and now I shall do all the things he didn’t have the guts to do! ...MMmmMMmm, guts...AHA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HAHA HAHAHAAA!!!”

All: ::sweatdrop::

Bakura: “Hmph, I hate those Ra damned dubbers! They left out the part of me licking the Millennium Eye! I was quite fond of that moment.”

Ryou: ::shudder:: “I wasn’t...that was MY tongue you used to lick the eye with!”

Yami Marik: ::holding a machete he got from nowhere and stalking people backstage like Jason::

Ryou: “Oh dear...he’s going to kill everyone!”

Yami Marik: ::can be heard laughing like a psycho as he chases after random victims::

Hiei: ::has finally stopped fighting with Vegeta:: “Hn, let him have his fun. There isn’t anyone back there worth keeping alive anyway.”

----->With Lizzy & Vicky<-----

Lizzy: ::wandering backstage with Vicky:: “Like, I KNOW we’re close, Vicky!” ::gasp:: “Like OMG, did you remember the chocolates?!”

Vicky: “Calm down, I have them here.” ::pulls out a large plastic bag out of nowhere that is filled with heart-shaped boxes of chocolates:: “We shall pelt our chocolatey goodness at the bishies and then they shall fall MADLY in love with us!” ::strikes a pose:: “Oh Kurama, it shan’t be long before we’re together FOREVER!” ::dreamy sigh::

Lizzy: ::squeal:: “OH VICKY, I can just imagine the look on our darlings’ faces when they see us for the first time!”

Vicky: ::looks through a door and suddenly lets out a fangirl shriek:: “OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!! LIZZY! There they arrrrrre!” ::points:: “Oh, it’s Kurama!!” ::swoon::

Lizzy: ::peers out the doorway and also screams like a fangirl:: “OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!! IT’S HIEI!” ::practically melts into a puddle on the floor:: “He is soooooooooooooo fiiiine! LET’S GO GET HIM!! ...I mean THEM!!” ::jumps up and down excitedly::

Vicky: “Totally! Wait–is my hair okay?”

Lizzy: “It looks totally FAB as usual! OH! What about mine?”

Vicky: “You look gorgeous, gurl!”

Lizzy: ^__^ “Ok! Now let’s prepare to go get our men!”

----->Back On Stage<-----

Bakura: ::reluctantly reading a letter:: “This is from a mortal named A.S. who writes ‘To Kurama- THANK YOU!!!! Thankies for the ticket. To Kuwabara: I'm sorry I called you Kuwabaka. To Kade: Awesome story as always! Um.... if you had to choose between Yami and Hiei.... who would you choose? To Hiei: Hey Hiei! Um.... I got a question. One day I saw Kuwabara and Yusuke walking by and they were talking about birds and bees...... and then I asked them what was so interesting about bird's and bees.... and they said they weren't actually talking about birds and bees.... What are the Birds and the Bees? Sincerely, A.S.’”

Kurama: ^_^ “You’re very welcome.”

Kuwabara: “Oh, that’s okay, I accept your apology.”

Kade: “Yami and Hiei?” ::pause:: “Gawd...that’s a toughie...I think I’d go with Yami, though! He seems to like me better than Hiei does, anyway.”

Hiei: O_OU “B-birds?”

Kurama: ::stifling laughter:: “Go on and answer her, Hiei.”

Hiei: O_OU “B-bees?”

Yusuke: “I didn’t think she could hear us...”

Suki: ::evil grin:: “Come on Hiei, the girl deserves to know!”

Hiei: O_o ::twitch:: “Hnnnn...well...you see...” ::blush:: “I’ll tell you later.”

Yami Marik: ::comes back on stage laughing:: “What, is it too much to talk about?” ::evil smirk:: “If you want, I’LL tell her!” ::licks machete, which is covered in um, uh...red Kool-Aid::

Hiei: “You do and I will kill you, ningen!”

Kurama: “Alright, alright. Nobody is killing anybody. [AN: yes, actually Yami Marik’s victims are only unconscious! *lol*] Marik–er, Yami Marik, would you mind reading the next letter?”

Yami Marik: “Yes.” ::takes a letter anyway:: “This is from anime 12, who writes ‘hiei: um i'm an element demon and i need help on my fire so can you like um train me i have a life time supply of sweet snow and an after life supply of sweet snow too. meet me at the park at seven. if you agree see ya there! Kurama: you said you have a secret shampoo well what’s it called and what’s its fragrance and if its not that secret what are the ingredients?! kuwabara (sorry jessi but) kuwabara YOU'RE AND UGLY BAKA NINGEN PROBABLY THE UGLIEST I'VE EVER LAID MY EYES ON (sorry but it's the truth) Marik are you evil or good or in-between Bakura: you're cool!’”

Hiei: “Hn, sure. But don’t be late.”

Kurama: “Yes, I do have a secret shampoo and I call it ‘Beautiful Youko’. The fragrance is of red roses in the summer breeze, and I cannot tell you the ingredients...but if you like I can send you a bottle of it.”

Kuwabara: -_-

Jesscheaux: ::pats his back:: “Don’t feel bad, Kazuma. I think you’re very handsome.”

Yami Marik: ::evil laugh:: “I’M EVIL!! A-HAHAHAHA HA HA HA HA HAHAAA!!!”

Kurama: “I believe the question was for MARIK.”

Yami Marik: “Grr! Stupid damn hikari! Never let’s me have any fun...” ::transforms back into Marik::

Marik: ::smirk:: “Am I good or evil or in-between? You’ll find out when I take over the world and become Pharaoh!”

All: ::sweatdrop::

Kurama: "Indeed he isn't much of an improvement..."

Yusuke: "I'll read the next letter." ::picks out another one:: "This is from Houndingwolf, who writes 'Yusuke, How do you prefer your name to be spelled? I read somewhere that if it were to be spelled in English correctly, it would be Yuusuke. Also, feel free to train with me anytime, demolishing a Saitou punching bag isn't as good as fighting a true opponant. Hiei and Juu-kun, do you do assassinations? If so, I'll pay you in as much sweet snow as you want to kill someone... Oni, you've already heard this, but please, more stories about Kurama!! ^^ Rose, Sam, you rock! Ja ne! ^_^' ::puts down the letter:: "Yeah, a question for M!" ::grins:: "Well, you can spell my name either way. I don't mind, as long as nobody pronounces it the wrong way like Kade did at first... 'Yoo-Sook!'" ::makes face and cringes:: "That was horrible!"

Hiei: "Hn. Well I do have a commercial that advertises my services...so I wouldn't mind doing it for sweet snow."

Juu-Kun: "Speaking of Sweet Snow...I was supposed to bring in some Sweet Snow a long time ago, and the baka writer forgot all about it!"

Baka Writer: Oops... *sheepish grin*

Juu-Kun: ::produces gallons upon gallons of Sweet Snow:: "That's better."

Hiei: "HELL YEAH!" ::begins gorging himself with ice cream::

Oni: ^_^ "More stories? Sure!"

Kurama: ::covers his face with his hands:: "Oh dear, not again..."

Oni: "Alright, this one time I woke up in the middle of the night because I heard somebody talking loudly, so when I got up to check it out I realized it was coming from Kurama's room. Sooooo...I snuck into his room and it turns out he was sleep-talking! He was mumbling something about 'pink fluffy bunnies' and how he wanted to catch one and show it to Hiei." ::laughs:: "It was pretty funny, but when I asked him about it the next day he acted like he didn't know what I was talking about!"

Kurama: "I still do not know what you are talking about."

Jesscheaux: "He's in denial!"

Rose & Sam: ::grin upon being complimented:: "Yeah we rock!" ^_^

Sam: "I'll read the next letter!" ::takes a letter and reads while keeping a watchful eye on the fangirls at the same time:: "This is from Shekahla, who writes 'Malik: I looove you Malik-kun!!! What's your address?'"

Marik: "...I can't tell you that, THEY will hear me!" ::shifty eyes::

Ryou: "Who's 'they' Marik?"

Marik: ::shudders:: "The...rabid fangirls..."

Bakura: ::shivers:: "Yes, I know what you mean...they come out at night..."

Marik: ::wide-eyed:: "...and they stalk you all the way home..."

Bakura: "...they spy on you in the shower..."

Marik: "...and they take pictures to blackmail you into--" ::gulp:: "--DATING one of them..."

Bakura: "Or ALL of them!"

Kurama: "Well why don't you just go out with them? I do."

Oni: "Yeah and look how well THAT turned out...you're booked for the next ten years at least!"

Kurama: "'Tis the curse of being polite, Oni."

Oni: "Whatever. I'll read the next letter!" ^_^ ::takes another letter:: "This is from MWE who writes 'Kade: You ish an awsome author *bows down* I am forever in your dept... or... something like that............ Kurama: HIHI! It's safe to say I'm not a fangirl, and for once someone who's not gonna ask you on a date, I just wanna say I like your hair *pats his head* soooffttt... o.O Yeah! Will you be my friend? *puppy-dog-eyes* erm... yeah... Yusuke: You ish awsome! But some advice. the next time Kayko smacks you, you should smack her back!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hiei: ... *pokes* hehe, you ish all kyute and midgety ^_______^ Kuwabara: Congrads. Kuwabara! You have found Ms. Right!!!! I wish you good luck ^_^ Malik: KAWAIIINEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Umm... how is it to be daily glomped by random fangirls...? And do you ever get sugar-high? If so, in what way do you act...? Bakura: MORE KAWAIINESS! You ish psycho! Do you like being psycho? It's fun to be psycho! Do you like chocolate? OF COURSE YOU DO! psychopsycho! *twitches* Ryou: And you ish Mr.Innocent ^^ Kyutekyutekyute! Umm.. how is it having Bakura as a yami? Do you get along ok? Or does he daily try to beat you do a bloody pulp?'"

Kade: ^__^ "Thank you thank you thank you!"

Kurama: ::smiles:: "Hello. Thank you very much and I would be happy to be a friend to you."

Yusuke: ::smirks:: "Yeah, I'm so awesome! Hmm, maybe I SHOULD smack her back...but then again that would probably kill her. Cuz I'm so strong!"

Melissa: ::waves Yusuke-holic flag:: "GO YUSUKE!!"

Hiei: ::scowls at being poked, and then scowls even more for being called cute and midgety:: "Hn!"

Kuwabara: ::big grin:: "Thanks! I sure have found Ms. Right!" ::puts arm around Jesscheaux::

Marik: "I try to avoid being glomped as often as possible...but sometimes it's impossible." -_-; "And sometimes my yami takes over and sends them to the Shadow Realm...either that or murders them in cold blood. Have you any idea what it's like to be accused of a murder you didn't commit when the murderer looks EXACTLY like you? Try explaining something like that to the FBI!" ::sighs:: "No, I don't make a habit of getting sugar high, but I'm sure my yami does. It just makes him crazier."

Bakura: ::cringes at being called cute:: "I AM NOT KAWAII, I AM EVIL! Psycho? I don't know what you're talking about! Do I like chocolate? Hmph, if by that you mean the brown squares that melt if you hold them in your hand too long, yes it is quite good."

Ryou: ::blushes upon being called cute:: "Well things are a lot better now then they used to be, that's for sure. He hasn't tried to kill me in months. If that's not progress I don't know what is."

Bakura: "Hmph, I'm just biding my time, pathetic hikari!" ::crosses his arms::

Ryou: "Why do I not believe you?"

Kuwabara: "I'll read the next question!" ::takes a letter and reads it:: "This is from Krystal who writes 'Tehehehehe I got a lot and a lot of questions...(starry eyed mode) RYOU WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME? MARIK WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME? BAKURA WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME? Ryou how can you stand Bakura? Are u all that innocent like the show or are u really like Bakura? How do you keep ur hair like that? Why do u always where the ring if Bakura takes ova ur body all the time? Bakura *sniff* why do you abuse your hikari? Can I help you defeat Yami? When will you stop coming back from the Shadow Realm? Marik you are so cool...do u know Shadi lied to you about how ur father died? Now for all three of you, do you have an Yaoi attraction to each other?'"

Ryou: ::blush::

Marik: ::twitch::

Bakura: ::twitch::

Ryou: "Well...it's hard putting up with him sometimes. Like every time something in the house malfunctions he just HAS to send it to the Shadow Realm! It would be easier and less costly to just hire somebody to fix it, but oh no, not for Bakura. He has to go and lose his temper and banish it. I can assure you, I'm not at all like Bakura. Definitely not! ...I suppose my hair is like that naturally, because I don't do much with it. And even if I tried to get rid of the Ring, it always finds its way back to me."

Bakura: "I do not abuse my hikari! Ryou when was the last time I--" -_- "Oh forget it. And I don't need any help defeating that pathetic Yami...I'll get him myself, MWAHAHAHA!"

Kade: ::glares::: "YOU MOST CERTAINLY WILL NOT!!! NOBODY IS TOUCHING MY YAMI-KUN!!"

Bakura: "Quiet, stupid mortal, I wasn't finished answering questions! ...Hmph, I will never stop coming back! Nobody can get rid of me!" ::laughs evilly::

Marik: "Well I know now!" ::sneers at the camera:: "And rest assured, Shadi, you will pay!"

All Three: O_O "Yaoi?"

Ryou: "No, of course not."

Bakura: "That's just some ridiculous nonsense thought up by rabid fangirls."

Marik: "Agreed."

Suki: "Alright, that went well. Time for a new letter." ::picks out another one and reads it:: "This is from DemonandGoddess who writes 'Hey Ya'll! Cool show.Yuusuke: If you don't ant to get slapped to death by Keiko you better get her a Valentine. Kurama: You really need to stop obsessing over your hair. I mean, you're already really hot! (I'm NOT arabid fan girl, really!) Hiei: I'll pay you with thousands of ice cream tubs if you kill this one movie star ningen for me. Her name is Kate Bosworth and she's getting married to Orlando Bloom. You have no idea how many fangirls would pay you with sweet snow to do that. Also, you really should go out Lizze1. Rose and Oni: OOOOOOh! Blackmail idea! Forcing people to listen to Britney Spears! Stupid slut. Kuwabara & Jessi: Congrats on the engagment! When's the date? I'm not a fan of yours Kuwabara, but I'm still happy for you two! Kade: Killer Show!'"

Yusuke: "Yeah, maybe...but I never know what to get people and girls are so friggin' hard to shop for! All they ever want is stuff that's way too expensive for me..."

All Girls: ::roll their eyes:: "THAT IS SO NOT TRUE!"

Yusuke: "Ah, whatever..."

Kurama: "Why thank you very much...I guess obsessing over my hair is just a habit of mine."

Hiei: "Hn, I'll consider that. And why should I go out with anyone? HN! I'm a demon, demon's don't date!"

Kurama: "But Hiei--"

Hiei: "Quiet Kurama! You're a pathetic excuse for a demon!"

Kurama's Fangirls: ::all chuck things at Hiei for saying that about their precious Kurama:: "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT ABOUT MY FOXY BOY!! DIE!!!!"

Hiei: ::dodges everything and is about to use the Dragon of the Darkness Flame on them all when the mystical Author Powers keep him from doing so:: "HN! Baka author!" ::crosses his arms::

Rose & Oni: ::nod:: "That's a good idea..."

Jesscheaux: "Hey thanks! We're not sure on the date yet, though."

Kade: ::bows:: "Thank you much! And I shall read the next letter!"

Yusuke: "Nobody's stopping you."

Kade: ::takes another letter and reads it:: "This is from FireShadow who writes 'Ryou: hi how r ya? your sooooo cool ^ . ^ are you glad we're going to the season 1 party together? i am ^ . ^ Marik: you're cool but i'm not really a fan sorry ^.^ Bakura: hi you're cool too but...rule the world, and then what? Hiei: if someone was to ask you a completely pointless question just to waste your time what would you do? Kurama: i'm gonna give you a break from the hair questions and ask your favorite color instead. Yusuke: Wassup? you're cool too ^ . ^ Kuwabara & Jesscheaux: congrats on your engagement ^.^ Kade: you rock!!! ^ .^ you're an awesome writter!!! ^ . ^ oooo hey can i help you kill tea too? it would be soooo fun to see her burn...! Peoples bent on world domination: hey when + where exactly are you planning to do this? i wanna get a nice view umm...if you harm the popcorn though i'm afraid i'll have to murder you all 7 different ways with a spork MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! anyone else i missed: hi how r ya? later byeZZZ ~~FireShadow'"

Ryou: ^_^ "Yes, I'm glad we're going together."

Marik: "Well fine then."

Bakura: "Anything I want! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!"

Hiei: "Hn, I would kill the baka."

Kurama: "Oh, well my favorite color is crimson-red of course. Like the color of my roses and my hair." ^_^

Yusuke: "Who saw THAT coming? Anyway, thanks!"

Kuwabara & Jesscheaux: ^_^ "Thanks!"

Kade: "Aww, thanks! And, well, I don't really want to kill Tea anymore...sounds like Hell has frozen over doesn't it? After watching the first few episodes of the second season I've realized she really isn't THAT bad...but she's still annoying, needs an entirely different wardrobe, and if she comes within a mile radius of Yami she's goin' down." ^_^

All Peoples Bent on World Domination: ::shrug:: "It'll happen when it happens!" ::all laugh evilly::

Suki, Rose, Sam & Oni: "Great, thanks!"

Jesscheaux: "Wow, everyone is so nice! They're all congratulating Kazuma and I!"

Kuwabara: ^_^ "Yeah, I think people don't hate me as much anymore!"

Marik: ::stares at Kuwabara:: "Hm...you might make a very nice mind slave!"

Kuwabara: >_<# ::jumps up:: "WHY YOU--"

Jesscheaux: ::grabs Kuwabara's arm:: "Hold on Kazuma, let ME handle this...oh, Marik!"

Marik: "What do you want?"

Jesscheaux: "STEAK PORK BEEF SALAMI CHICKEN BACON TURKEY!!"

Marik: ::recoils quickly in fear:: "DON'T MENTION THOSE ACCURSED PRODUCTS TO ME!"

Jesscheaux: "Then don't insult my fiance, ya stinkin' vegetarian!" ::shakes fist at Marik::

Bakura: "Hmph, pathetic! Let's just get on with this stupid show so I can leave sooner!"

Kade: "Yeah tell me about it...look who's gotta WRITE all this! Bakura I command you to read the next letter!"

Bakura: "Nobody commands me, mortal! I'll send you to the Shadow Realm for that!"

Kade: "You have no choice." ::uses Author Powers to make him read the letter::

Bakura: "DAMN IT!" ::reluctantly starts reading another letter:: "This is from a foolish mortal named Akumu who writes 'Marik: If a random person walked up to you and called you a girl, what would you do? | Ryou: How well do you think you perform, school-wise? | Bakura: My apologies for using an over-used question, but what's your favorite color? ^^;; | Keiko: How would you counter the people who try to kill you all the time? o.o; That must get irritating...| Kuwabara: Ditto, and what's Eikichi's favorite toy? | Yusuke: Do you have a favorite video game? If so, what is it? Do you have a favorite video game console, too? If so, what? | Hiei: What do you like to top your sweet snow with? Cherries, whipped cream, chocolate syrup, etc... | Kurama: Who do you think is smarter? You or Keiko?'"

Marik: "Ha, that's easy, I'd send that idiot to the Shadow Realm! ...Either that or make them my MIND SLAVE!"

Ryou: "Oh, I do alright..." ::blush:: "Okay, so I do very well in school. I'm in the top percent in my class."

Bakura: "Hmph...favorite color? Anything Ryou can't stand."

Keiko: ::stands up from the audience:: "Well, usually I just use my death-slap on them! You know, the same one that I'm always using on Yusuke."

Kuwabara: "Well if it's a guy I just beat him down...and if it's a girl I try to out-run her since I don't hit girls. And Eikichi's favorite toy would have to be her stuffed mouse...but she doesn't play with it as much now, since she has Jessi and the other new kitten to play with."

Yusuke: "Well, I like 'em all! I have almost all the different consoles too, so it's really hard to pick..."

Hiei: "I eat my Sweet Snow plain..." ::drools::

Kurama: "Well, I'd have to say that I believe I'm smarter than Keiko, as I have lived for over 300 years and have gained that much more knowledge."

Yusuke: "Fair enough. I'll take the next letter...it's a short one! It's from XDragonRose who writes 'I have a question to ask Kurama.What type of things do you look for in a girl?'"

Kurama: "Well...I look for good personality traits, of course. Somebody who is fun to be with and isn't afraid to be herself. Whether she is a demon or a human, I have no preference. There are no rules when it comes to love."

Kade: "Aww, that was sweet!"

Kurama: ^_^ "Thank you. It is true."

Rose: "I haven't read a letter for a while! I'll do the next one." ::picks out a new letter and reads it:: "This is from Hiei's new girlfriend--" ::snickers:: "--Lizzee1 who writes 'I have no questions for the next guest star...but...I do have a present for the cast members...Two presents actually...first...a large stereo with many CD's...I stole my sisters wallet so I could buy it for them...hehe...then....I raided my whole kitchen to make them a large cake. A quarter of it's vanilla, another quarters chocolate, another quarters strawberry, and another quarters this sherbet flavor...sherbet cake...lemme know how it tastes...I invented it myself.'" ::sees the scowl on Hiei's face:: "Oh relax, I was just kidding!"

Kade: "Whoo-hoo, music! Thanks, and the cake looks awesome!"

Bakura: ::already into the cake, eating it using even worse manners than he did with the steak (if at all possible):: "Yes, and it tastes quite good as well..."

Hiei: "Hn, don't hog it all, you pig!" ::shoves Bakura out of the way and takes a large piece of cake::

Marik: "Leave some for the rest of us--I mean ME!" ::pulls Hiei away from the cake and takes a chunk of it for himself::

Oni: ::pours a Sake topping on her slice:: "There, now THAT'S a cake!" ^_^

Kurama: ::mushroom sigh:: "Oh, dear...I shall read the next question." ::takes a new letter and reads it:: "This is from Vegeta-Hiei Lover, who writes 'Yusuke: Ok, why don't you stand up to Keiko? Kurama: Martha Stewart, huh? LOLOL!!! Oni: More stories please. :) Rose: You got any dirt on Yusuke? We're all waiting. Hiei: What the heck happened to your father? I mean, how did he even get into Koorime? Juu-kun: Show me the evil!! Keiko: Why don't you give poor Yusuke a break? The guy has saved your life many times, and you treat him like crap! Jess: Ehh, maybe you're right. At least he's amusing. ROTFLMAO!! Jin: What the heck does holla mean?!?!? Kuwabara: OMG!! 6%!! I'm surprised your sister didn't kill you!! Koenma: Be careful what you wish for. If Vegeta heard you, you would be little more than a pile of ashes on the floor. And handsome!?!?!?!?! Have you ever looked in the mirror? You and Kuwabara both belong in the 'Ewww, what is that, get it off the TV screen!' category. In other words, handsome is what Vegeta and Hiei are, and you are not. Vegeta: Just keep training, buddy!! Someday you'll be stronger than Goku!! Kade: I love this Show!!!!! Can't wait for the party!!!! wOOt!!'"

Yusuke: "I try to, but her slaps friggin' hurt like hell! I need a bodyguard..."

Kurama: ::sigh:: "Yes, Martha Stewart..."

Oni: "Hmm...which one should I tell next?" ::thinks:: "Oh yeah! Ok you know how Kurama is supposed to be graceful? Well...this one afternoon when we were walking home from school he was acting like a total klutz! I mean he was stubbing his toes on the sidewalk, running into trees and telephone poles, tripping over his own feet, and he even fell over backwards when I punched him lightly on the shoulder! I don't know what was up with him! I think somebody must've slipped a little somethin' somethin' into his milk at school, cuz I couldn't figure out what else it could be!"

Kurama: ::red-faced:: "I remember that...to this day I cannot explain it either..."

Rose: ::grins:: "Oh I got TONS of dirt on Yusuke! Like this one time I caught him kissing the bathroom mirror and telling himself how hot he was! And another time I found him in the kitchen dancing with the mop to a Britney Spears CD! He was going 'hit me baby one more time' and doing all these twirly things...he tried to do a cartwheel and landed on his head." XP

Yusuke: >_<# "Knock it off, that's enough already!" ::sighs:: "That's so embarrassing..."

Melissa: "IT'S OKAY YUSUKE, I LOVE YOU!" ::waves Yusuke-holic flag::

Yusuke: ^_^

Hiei: "Hn, I have no idea and I don't care."

Juu-Kun: "Well I WOULD, except for that stupid rule for holidays..."

Keiko: ::stands up from the audience:: "Well since it's Valentine's Day, maybe I will...IF HE GOT ME ANYTHING!"

Yusuke: ::cringes:: "Meep!"

Melissa: ::glares at Keiko:: "Don't yell at him like that, you evil wench!"

Keiko: "Evil? I am not! And I wouldn't yell at him if he wasn't such a JERK all the time!"

Melissa: "He is not a jerk!" ::slaps Keiko::

Keiko: @__@

Yusuke: "Hehehe..."

Melissa: ::goes back to waving her Yusuke-holic flag:: "GO YUSUKE!!"

Jesscheaux: ^_^

Jin: ::stands up from audience:: "I have no idea what 'holla' means...the author just made me say it...HUZZAH!!"

Kuwabara: ::laughs:: "Well...Shizuru was REALLY mad...but yeah, I'm surprised she didn't kill me, too."

Koenma: "Humph, I'm not afraid of that guy! I'm the Prince of Hell after all!" ::mouse runs across his feet:: "AAAHHHHHHHH!!!! OGRE!! OGRE!! KILL IT, KILL IT NOW!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!" ::jumps on top of the chair::

All: ::sweatdrop::

Bakura: "I'll take care of that pathetic rodent..." ::sends it to the Shadow Realm::

Ryou: "Bakura, he didn't do anything to you! ...Poor mouse..."

Koenma: "And OF COURSE I AM HANDSOME! You're just...well I'm sure you're just jealous!" ::crosses his arms::

Kuwabara: ::shrug:: "Well, not EVERYONE is gonna like me I guess. But all that matters to me is the most important person in my life thinks I'm great!" ::beams at Jesscheaux::

Jesscheaux: ::hugs Kuwabara:: "That is so sweet!"

Vegeta: ::comes back:: "I intend to keep training...and then I'll finally defeat that fool Kakarot!"

Bulma: ::appears and grabs his ear:: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE VEGETA?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AT HOME FOLDING THE CLOTHES!!"

Vegeta-Hiei Lover: ::appears:: "I'll save ya, Vegeta!" ::runs over and beats Bulma off of him::

Bulma: @__@

Vegeta: ::smirk::

VHL: ::sees Hiei:: "HIEI!!" ::runs over to him and proceeds to glomp the hell out of him::

Hiei: O_O ::tries to jump out of the way, but she is too quick for him::

VHL: ::SMUGs Hiei and kisses him::

Hiei: X_x "Kissed by a ningen...uuhhhh, how could I let this happen?"

VHL: ::grins and goes to sit in the audience, laughing::

Kade: "Ughh...how many questions are left? Twenty billion?"

Oni: ::checks:: "No, just one."

Kade: ::falls to her knees:: "HUZZAH!!"

Kuwabara: "I'll read it!" ::picks up last letter and reads it:: "This is from leadfoot352 who writes 'Yami: why are you and your friends so obsessed with that card game (throws rocks at Yami and his friends over and over) P.S. love the show.'"

Kade: "GRR!!!"

Yami: ::comes in:: "Somebody asked me a question?"

Rocks: ::go flying at Yami, Bakura, Ryou and Marik...but miss them completely by at least three feet::

Yami: ::watches the poorly aimed rocks fall short of their targets:: "What was that?"

Kade: ::glomps Yami:: "Eh, somebody thought they could throw a rock at the guy THE WRITER IS OBSESSED WITH!!!"

Bakura: "How dare anyone try to throw a rock at ME, Thief King Bakura-sama!"

Marik: "THIS FOOL SHOULD BE SENT TO THE SHADOW REALM!!" ::laughs evilly::

Yami: ::sweatdrop:: "To answer the question...I enjoy Duel Monsters...who wouldn't?"

Kade: "Well...I'm glad you like the show, but DON'T THROW ROCKS AT MY ATEMU-KUN!"

Rose: ::points to somebody in the audience:: "You have a question?"

Inu.-Sess.Fan: ::stands up:: "Yo this is for Hiei-sama: I'll wait until after training to give you sweet snow. Show me how to use the Dragon of the Darkness Flame." ::black aura surounds her::

Hiei: "Hn, fine. If you can handle it, that is." ::smirks::

Inu.-Sess.Fan: "Bakura, you're kewl but if you try to put Yami in the Shadow Realm again I will personally kill you for both Yami and Kade." ::shows fangs::

Bakura: ::crosses arms:: "Hmph!"

Marik: ::laughs at Bakura::

Inu.-Sess.Fan: "Marik, same for you--" ::cough:: "--hot--" ::cough::

Marik: ::scowls::

Inu.-Sess.Fan: ::continues:: "Oh, Kuwabara, here's 50 other kittens, to tell you the truth they won't stop multiplying so each time that happens I'll wean them off of their mothers and give them to you. Sounds like a deal. Oh, I've grown to like you too..." ::blush:: "...and you're cute--" ::cough:: "--hott--" ::cough::

Kuwabara: ::gets all the kittens:: "Wow...hey, maybe I should open up a pet shop!"

Inu.-Sess.Fan: "For Yusuke, use this spray to knock Keiko out when you want to, but be carful. Here's what to do: 1 spray-temparary knock-out. 2 sprays-asleep until the sun is in the middle of the sky. 3 sprays-well...let's just say you'll need another Keiko." -_-U

Yusuke: "Hey, cool! Thanks!"

Inu.-Sess.Fan: "FOR HIEI-SAMA..." ::whispers:: "Don't worry, my cats will keep him busy for a long time I get tons of them every day so he won't have time to call you names or mess with you."

Hiei: ::smirks:: "Sounds good to me."

Inu.-Sess.Fan: ::normal voice:: "Here's an, umm....heat bomb to destroy whoever's name you write on it, it's really kool try it. You too, Juu-Kun, and if anybody even tries to take it or stop it, they're dead. I may look weak but just say if I fought that Toguro guy I would've won in about... 5 seconds..." ::licking blood off of claws:: "Sorry I just had lunch cause some random guy tried to glomp me. Oh by the way Vegeta, I'm watching you..." ::eyes glow red:: "Bye!" ::blows a hole in the roof and flies off::

Kade: ::stares at hole:: "Dammit, and I just had that fixed!" ::sigh:: "Oh well."

Yami: "I can help you fix it if you like..."

Kade: ::hugs Yami::

Vegeta: ::glares at hole:: "Hmph!"

Hiei: "I think I may write that baka Saiyan's name on this heat bomb..." ::smirk::

Juu-Kun: "Hey, I have a few questions for the guests..."

Kade: ::shrug:: "Go ahead."

Juu-Kun: "Bakura, wanna go on a killing spree later? I've got Shadi's Sennen Items to give to you... Ryou, how come you can't be more like your Yami? Although I like you just the way you are...you should toughen up! Malik, wanna go on killing spree? If so...I can get the Tauk...and possibly the Puzzle...if you wanted."

Kade: "Not the Puzzle!" ::grabs the Puzzle and holds it protectively...but it's still around Yami's neck, causing him to be jerked downwards:: "Oh, sorry Yams!" ::lets go::

Yami: ::straightens up:: "It's alright, just...try not to do that again."

Bakura: "I would certainly take those items off your hands, Juu-Kun..."

Ryou: ::looks at Bakura:: "Why would I want to be more like him? He always tells me to toughen up, too."

Marik: "Well, I'm not into killing sprees anymore but I'm sure my Yami is..." ::sweatdrop:: "However I could use some more mind slaves..."

----->Lizzy & Vicky's Fangirl Rampage!<-----

Lizzy: "Okay Vicky, like NOW'S OUR CHANCE!" ::giggles::

Vicky: "I can't wait! OOOHHHHH KURAMA! Soon we'll be together forever!"

Lizzy: "Like, on the count of 'three' we'll run out and jump into the arms of our men!" ::sigh:: "Okay! Like, one!"

Vicky: "Two!"

Lizzy: "Uh..." ::pauses:: "Like what comes after 'two'?"

Vicky: ::thinks hard:: "OH! THREE!!!"

Lizzy & Vicky: "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" ::charge on stage and begin pelting Hiei and Kurama with heart-shaped boxes of chocolate::

Hiei: "HN????"

Kurama: "Oh my!"

Kade: "EVERYBODY DUCK AND COVER!!"

Everyone 'cept Hiei and Kurama: ::duck and cover::

Hiei: ::is now being chased by Lizzy:: "SOMEBODY GET THIS NINGEN AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I COMMIT MURDER!!"

Kurama: ::is being chased by Vicky:: "PLEASE HELP ME!!"

Lizzy: "Oh Hiei-baby, we're meant to be!" ::dives on him and glomps him::

Hiei: ::struggles in her death-grip:: "LET GO, PUNY BAKA NINGEN!!"

Vicky: "AAAHHHHHHHH KURAMAAAAAAA!!" ::grabs his hair and causes him to fall down, then glomps him::

Kurama: ::squeezes his eyes shut:: "HELP ME! HELP ME PLEASE!"

Everyone Else: ::too busy laughing their heads off::

Lizzy: "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY HIEI MY LOVE!"

Vicky: "OH KURAMA, I LOVE YOU!! THIS IS THE BEST VALENTINE'S DAY EVER NOW THAT WE'VE FINALLY FOUND EACH OTHER!"

Hiei & Kurama: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Lizzy: "Like I am so totally happy, sweetheart!" ::keeps trying to kiss Hiei:: "Oh Honey-Cakes, I can't kiss you if you won't hold still!"

Hiei: "DUH!!" ::swats at her, but for some reason keeps missing:: "WHAT THE HELL NINGEN, GET OFF ME!!"

Vicky: ::also trying in vain to kiss Kurama:: "Sweetums, hold still! We haven't had our Special Kiss yet!"

Kurama: "Do I look crazy to you!?"

Vicky: "YES! Crazy for ME, my love! And I am crazy for YOU!!"

Suki: "Okay, this has got to stop!"

Sam: ::finally manages to stop laughing:: "Alright you rabid fangirls, GET OUTTA HERE!! BEAT IT!"

Lizzy: "Like, NO WAY! We are not leaving without our MEN!!"

Vicky: "Like, I totally agree with her! If I have to leave, then my Kurama-poo is coming WITH ME!!"

Sam: "Alright that's it, YOU ASKED FOR IT!" ::grabs the broom and begins to run at the two fangirls::

Lizzy: "LIKE OMG OMG OMG!! Vicky she's totally gonna kill us with that broom!"

Vicky: "LIKE WHAT DO WE DO??"

Lizzy: "AAAHHHHHH!!! RUN AWAY!!" ::gets off Hiei and heads for the hills::

Vicky: O_O ::scrambles after her:: "LIKE WAIT FOR MEEEEEEE!!"

Sam: ::watches them go, proud:: "HA! Don't ever come back, either!"

::Buzzer sounds::

Oni: ::crawls out of hiding space:: "They're gone? YAY SAM YOU ROCK!"

Yusuke: "It sure is good having a security guard!"

Melissa: ::holds up Yusuke-holic flag:: "I LOVE YOU YUSUKE!"

Kuwabara: "Well, it's been a fun show you guys."

Jesscheaux: "Yeah, it sure has!"

Kade: ::sniffle sob::

Yami: "What's wrong, Kade?"

Kade: T_T "Today was the last episode...no more Hiei & Kurama Show..." ::tear tear::

Yami: ::gives her a hug:: "Don't cry, it will be alright."

Hiei: "Really? Was this REALLY the last episode?!"

Kurama: ::nods solemnly:: "Indeed it was, Hiei."

Hiei: "..."

Kurama: "Hiei? What's wrong?"

Hiei: "...YYYYYEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!! YES YES YES!!!! OH JOY AND RAPTURE!! I'M FREE!! I'm really FREE! AT LAST!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!"

Kurama: ::sweatdrop::

Oni: "But we've still got this awesome party to go to, you guys!"

Kurama: "Yes that's true...oh Kade, do cheer up!" ::sympathetic look::

Kade: ::crying on Yami's shoulder:: "I'm sorry...I'm just...so..........HAPPY!!!!!!!" ^_______^

All: O_O "What??"

Kade: "Yeah! Have you any idea how freakin' LONG all these chapters are?? DO YOU?! And to finally be done with...what, the eleventh chapter? It's so awesome! I'm so happy!" ::gives Yami a BIG kiss::

Yami: "Oh, well uh..." ::blush::

Yusuke: "Hmph, BAKA Russian!" ::gets hit on the head by every other cast member::

All: "HE IS EGYPTIAN!!"

Rose: ::waves to the camera:: "Goodbye everyone, it's been fun! See you all at the party! ...Most of you..." ^_^

The Hiei & Kurama Show

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 00:36:51 GMT

~The Hiei & Kurama Show~
*BACKSTAGE MAYHEM*

===============================================================

----->IN THE HALLWAY<-----

Sam: ::lurking around, pointing her flashlight at anything suspicious while talking to her pet lobster:: "If there are any fangirls around here who think they're going to pester the cast members then they're going to have to get past me first!"

::Suddenly a blur of black runs by and disappears down the hall::

Sam: ::shines the flashlight on the area where she saw the blur run by:: "Who's there? What are you up to? I'll catch you, I swear!"

Hiei: ::runs into a room and slams the door behind him, leaning against the door and panting as if he'd been running for his very life::

::KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!::

Girl's Voice: "Oh Hiei! Hiei-chan! Please let me in, I just wanna kiss you! Pwease, Hiei-chan, why won't you let me love you?"

Hiei: O.O ::thinking, 'somebody help me please!'::

----->SOMEWHERE ELSE<-----

::Kuwabara and Jesscheaux are hanging out at the snack bar::

Kuwabara: ::pours himself some coffee:: "I think our show is going really well!"

Jesscheaux: ::pours herself some Coca-Cola:: "Yeah, I totally agree with you Kuwa! It's going great."

Kuwabara: "I was just talking to Kade, and she was saying what great responses we're getting and how cool all our fans are." ::sips his coffee:: "Even though we don't get paid, I think it's all worth it. After all, we get to be on television, right?"

Jesscheaux: ::nods:: "Right. But you know, if it were up to me, it would be called 'The Kuwabara Show'!" ::grins::

Kuwabara: ::smiles at his fiancé and finishes his coffee:: "I would call it 'The Jesscheaux & Kuwabara Show'." ::suddenly notices Juu-Kun walking down the hall towards them:: "Uh-oh, here comes Shorty's new friend..."

Juu-Kun: ::grabs a bag of chips from the snack table and notices Kuwabara watching him:: "What are you gawking at, Kuwabaka?"

Kuwabara: ::crushes his Styrofoam coffee cup in anger (good thing it was empty):: "Hey! Don't you call me that, you puny little shrimp!

Juu-Kun: ::scowls:: "You'd better watch what you say to me unless you'd like a personal demonstration of what I'm capable of."

Kuwabara: ::crosses his arms:: "Oh yeah, you're just trying to scare me and it's not working. I bet you're just saying all that stuff 'cause you know you'd lose against me! You're probably just a wimp who tries to sound all tough, but he's really not."

Jesscheaux: ::pokes him:: "Uh, Kuwabara...now isn't really the best time to pick a fight..."

Juu-Kun: "What do you mean, now is a perfect time and your baka of a fiancé is practically begging to be tortured."

Kuwabara: ::gets mad:: "That's it, you just bring it on, you shrimpy little squirt! If you have the guts, anyway."

Juu-Kun: ::starts to get mad, but then smirks:: "I have all that and a bag of chips, baka." ::tosses the potato chips back onto the snack table and prepares to demonstrate his powers for/on Kuwabara::

[Juu-Kun thing]

Jesscheaux: ::watching in horror:: "JUU-KUN, STOP IT! YOU'RE HURTING HIM!"

Juu-Kun: "That's the point." ::suddenly receives a telepathic message from Hiei:: "Well it seems I'm needed elsewhere...so long, baka. Have fun trying to get out of there." ::leaves to help Hiei with his rabid fangirl situation::

Jesscheaux: "Kuwabara!" ::tries to help him, but it's no use:: "Hang in there, I'll go get somebody to help you!" ::clenches her fists:: "I swear I'm going to get that Juu-Kun for this!"

Kade: ::comes walking into the room:: "Hey guys, what's--" ::sees Kuwabara and stops dead in her tracks:: "Oh my god...Kuwabara! What happened?"

Kuwabara: "......" ::can't talk::

Jesscheaux: "That jerk Juu-Kun did that to him! I don't know how to get him outta there..."

Kade: "Hang on..." ::uses her mystical Author Powers to free Kuwabara from his entrapment:: "There you are. Looks like Juu-Kun really had his fun, huh?"

Jesscheaux: ::rushes over to Kuwabara:: "Are you alright, Kazuma?"

Kuwabara: ::smiles weakly:: "I'll live...thanks Kade."

Kade: "Hey, no prob. You might wanna take a trip to the hospital just to make sure you're okay, though."

Kuwabara: "I'm fine, really."

Jesscheaux: ::takes his hand and helps him up:: "She's right you know...please do it at least for me, Kuwabara."

Kuwabara: ::sighs:: "Alright, honey, you win." ::they walk off together, well, Kuwabara limps and Jesscheaux walks::

Kade: ::shrugs:: "All's well that ends well, I guess." ::walks over to the snack table and grabs a few cookies::

----->IN THE BATHROOM<-----

Kurama: ::getting ready to shower off after a hard day of 'work':: "Hm...I just cannot decide which shampoo to use today." ::stares at the many shelves of shampoo bottles that cover an entire wall in the bathroom:: "I am not certain whether I want my hair to smell of peaches and cream or french vanilla."

Oni: ::pounds on the door impatiently:: "HEY! You've been in there for fifteen minutes and I need to use the bathroom!"

Kurama: "I am terribly sorry, Oni. I do not mean to inconvenience you."

Oni: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. C'mon bro, what's the hold-up?"

Kurama: "I cannot decide which scent I want today."

Oni: "Oh for the love of Sake...does it really matter? Go with the french vanilla and hurry it up in there!"

Kurama: ::nods to himself:: "French vanilla. Yes, I shall choose that one...now, which body wash should I use?"

Oni: ::groans in frustration, leans on the door and slides to the floor:: "This'll take forever..." ::opens up a bottle of Sake::

----->ON THE STAGE<-----

::The entire area is deserted except for Yusuke and Rose, who are cleaning up the stage since it happens to be their turn to do it::

Yusuke: ::holding an empty bottle of Sake and examining it, trying to see if there is any alcohol left inside it:: "Hm, now who could this belong to?" ::seeing that there is nothing left in the bottle, he tosses it at the garbage can and it goes in:: "Oh yeah, three-pointer! I'm so cool!" ::grins::

Rose: ::looks up from mopping the floor:: "You're supposed to be working!"

Yusuke: "I am! Did you not see me throw away that bottle?"

Rose: "That's the first one you've thrown away in ten minutes! What are you doing over there?"

Yusuke: "I'm just taking a break, okay?"

Rose: "That's no fair, if you get a break then I want one too!" ::throws the mop down and sits in one of the chairs:: "It feels weird to be on the stage when there's nobody in the audience."

Yusuke: "I know what you mean...no fans screaming my name and killing each other over me." ::smirks::

Rose: -_-U "Which fantasy world are you living in? That hasn't happened yet and I doubt it ever will."

Yusuke: ::gives her an evil smile:: "Yeah, just like your date with Kurama!"

Rose: >_<# ::chucks all of her juggling balls at his head:: "YOU JERK! SHUT UP ABOUT THAT!"

::CLONK CLONK CLONK CLONK! (that oh-so-familiar sound)::

Yusuke: @__@ ::rubs his head, which has four large bumps on it:: "Is it too late to say I was just kidding?"

Rose: ::takes a picture:: "I'm going to make a really big version of that picture and put it on my website!"

Yusuke: ::looks at her as his vision clears up:: "You don't even have a website!"

Rose: "I will tomorrow! And remember Mr. Wuggums, your favorite teddy bear? The one you always sleep with every night? I'm going to sell him on E-Bay!"

Yusuke: "You'd better not!" ::gets up and tries to chase after her, but trips and falls flat on his face because he's still dizzy from being hit on the head::

Rose: ::laughs and grabs the mop to use as a weapon:: "Just try and stop me!"

Yusuke: "You're really underestimating me, sis. I'm way too tough for you to handle!"

Rose: "Wow, he used a big word! And don't forget, I'm a Spirit Detective too!"

Yusuke: ::stands up:: "A Spirit Detective in training, and therefore not as great as me!"

Rose: ::whacks him in the face with the wet end of the mop:: "Aww look, now he's all wet!" ::laughs::

Yusuke: ::sudsy water dripping down his face:: "Very funny. You know, we should be getting paid for cleaning off the stage. This is so stupid. It's long and boring, plus I'm forced to spend time with my annoying brat of a sister."

Rose: XP "I'd rather be an annoying brat than a foolish jerk."

Yusuke: "This 'bonding' thing sucks."

Rose: ::mimicking Genkai:: "Then get back to work, slacker!"

Yusuke: ::laughs:: "That's pretty good, you sounded just like her! Anyway what's the hurry, as long as we get it done. I mean come on, what are they going to do, get mad and pay us?"

Rose: ::sighs and begins mopping again:: "I dunno about you, but I want to get home sometime soon. SOME OF US actually have lives..."

----->BACK WITH HIEI<-----

Crazy Fangirl: ::knocks on the door again:: "Hiei-chan, I know you're in there!" ::giggles:: "You don't have to be afraid, my little Sugar-Buns, come on out and receive your treatment!"

Hiei: ::shudders violently:: "Hn. GO AWAY BEFORE I AM FORCED TO TEAR YOUR BODY TO SHREDS AND BURN IT TO ASHES!"

Crazy Fangirl: "Oh Hiei! You're just SOOOOOO romantic!" ::swoons:: "OMG I love you so much! Please come out of there so I can glomp the guts out of you!"

Hiei: "ARE YOU DAMN CRAZY, WOMAN?!"

Crazy Fangirl: "Crazy for you, my love!"

Hiei: "Just who the hell ARE you anyway?"

Crazy Fangirl: "I'm Cam Harvay!" [AN: Ha ha ha...anyone remember that chick? What a weirdo...lol]

Hiei: ::scowls:: "Cam Harvay? What a stupid name!"

Cam Harvay: "But Hiei, I thought so hard for hours about what to call myself, I picked this one because I thought you would like it!"

Hiei: -_-U "How pathetic...baka ningen woman."

Cam Harvay: "But Hiei, I'm not a ningen! In fact I'm a fire demon just like you! And I have a Jagan eye AND I have a katana! I'm as short as you are and I even dress in black and wear four belts just like you! I love you! Hiei, we belong together!"

Hiei: "I happen to know for a fact that none of those things are true."

Cam Harvay: "Cut me a break, I'M DESPERATE!"

Juu-Kun: ::comes down the hall and sees the crazed, desperate Hiei Fangirl known as Cam Harvay standing outside a door and begging for Hiei to come out:: "Hey! Who are you and why are you harassing my partner in crime?"

Cam Harvay: "I wasn't harassing him! I was just telling him how much I LOOOOOOOVE him and how sexy he is!"

Hiei: ::voice muffled from in the next room:: "The woman is harassing me, damn it!"

Juu-Kun: ::looks at Cam Harvay and smirks:: "Then you must die..."

Cam Harvay: ::stares back at Juu-Kun:: "I can't die...I'M IMMORTAL!!" ::laughs like the insane maniac she is, and runs off to find other hot bishoonen::

Juu-Kun: O.O "Hiei, it's safe to come out now. The baka's gone."

Hiei: ::emerges from the room he had locked himself in:: "Hn. Good. Now let's get out of here before she comes back."

Juu-Kun: "I suggest we go to the Makai and sharpen our skills on weaker demons."

Hiei: "Hn. I agree."

::They both leave::

----->BACK WITH KURAMA AND ONI<-----

Oni: ::still waiting to use the bathroom, now with about four empty Sake bottles scattered around her:: -_- ::stands up and pounds on the door again:: "Kurama! Why do you have to be such a bitch in the bathroom? I mean, you take even longer than a woman should for crying out loud!"

Kurama: ::using the hair dryer:: "Have patience, Oni, as I am almost finished."

Oni: -_- "I've been patient for the last two hours, what more do you want from me?"

Suki: ::walks in, needing to use the facilities also:: "Uh-oh, looks like there's a line."

Oni: "Yeah, my brother's hogging the bathroom."

Suki: ::perks up:: "Kurama's in there?" ::sits down and waits for Kurama to come out::

Oni: ::sighs:: "Kur-AMA! It's just hair!"

Kurama: ::turns off the blow dryer and begins to brush his hair::

Suki & Oni: ::hear him counting the brush strokes::

Oni: "You'd better not be counting to a thousand!"

Suki: "Kurama, I'm sure you look fine as it is! Hurry up and come out here!"

Kurama: ::counts to a hundred and finally comes out of the bathroom, looking fabulous with his hair smelling like french vanilla:: "I am sorry for causing you both to wait."

Oni: "Finally!" ::dashes into the bathroom::

Suki: ::latches onto Kurama's arm:: "Let's go get something to eat, Kurama!"

Kurama: "Alright, I could certainly use some food at the moment."

::They both walk off to go to the snack table::

----->WITH CAM HARVAY, NOTORIOUS RABID FANGIRL<-----

Cam Harvay: ::sneaking down the hallways in search of another hot bishie::

Sam: ::spies a shadow while lurking around and shines the flashlight on the spot:: ::sees nothing:: "Mark my words, trespasser, I WILL get you sooner or later!" ::goes off to set up an elaborate trap that probably won't work but is meant to catch the perpetrator::

Cam Harvay: "Where oh where have all the bishies gone? COME ON OUT, HOT ANIME GUYS!" ::gasps, suddenly spotting Kurama at the end of the hall:: "OMG, there's one! KURAMA! HEY KURAMA!" ::runs toward him as fast as she can::

Kurama: ::turns around upon hearing his name called and sees a crazy girl charging at him:: O.o "Oh dear..."

Cam Harvay: ::collides with Kurama like a freight train and immediately glomps onto him:: "KURAMA! I am like your number one fan, well not really but anyway you're like really completely totally HOT and I guess I could grow to love you eventually so what do you say, will you marry me?!"

Kurama: O_O;; ::desperately tries to escape her grasp, but Cam Harvay has him in a death grip:: "I do not believe we have ever met...I have no idea who you are."

Cam Harvay: "I'm Cam Harvay! I don't know very much about you, but you look good so who cares?"

Kurama: "Please release me."

Suki: ::comes back from getting a cup of soda and sees this strange girl glomped onto Kurama:: >_<# "Who does she think she is? If anyone here deserves Kurama, it's ME!" ::stomps over:: "HEY! You'd better let go of him right now unless you want to deal with me!"

Cam Harvay: ::looks up at Suki:: "No way! Besides, I don't see your name on him."

Suki: ::dumps the cup of soda all over Cam Harvay::

Cam Harvay: O.o ::lets go of Kurama:: "AAHHHHH! I'M MELTING! I'M MEEEEELLLLLTIIIIIIINNNNNNNGG!!" ::turns around and sprints down the hall, laughing insanely::

Suki & Kurama: O.O ::MAJOR sweatdrop::

Kurama: ::turns to Suki after a moment of silence:: "Well...would you care to go and see a movie?"

Suki: "Yeah, I'd love to! Let's go!"

::They walk off to go to the movies::

----->WITH YUSUKE AND ROSE<-----

Rose: ::finishes mopping the floor:: "There, I'm done! Now I get to go home and watch anime!"

Yusuke: ::throws away the last of the garbage:: "I thought you said you had a life."

Rose: ::bops him on the head:: "Anime is a big part of my life, dummy!"

Yusuke: "Whatever." ::doesn't notice a certain crazed fan lurking around backstage:: "I'm gonna take out the trash now. If you're gone by the time I get back then I'll see ya when I see ya." ::picks up the humongous garbage bag and heaves it over his shoulder::

Rose: "Okay, bye Yusuke. See ya at home." ::waves at him and leaves::

Yusuke: ::walks backstage and is suddenly confronted by a strange girl:: "What the--who are you?"

Cam Harvay: ::grins at him:: "Hey nice shoes, wanna marry me?"

Yusuke: O.O "WHAT?!" ::drops the garbage bag::

Cam Harvay: "You heard me. You aren't the hottest guy on the show, but hey I can't be too picky now can I? You'll do just fine and besides, it could be worse. And I really do like your shoes." ::smirks::

Yusuke: "You want to MARRY me?" O.o "I don't even know you!"

Cam Harvay: "Well that makes it even more fun! We can play 20 Questions on our honeymoon, and by the time we get home we'll know each other like the back of our hands! It's really quite simple."

Yusuke: "......." ::appears to be considering it::

::Suddenly Kade appears behind Yusuke, followed closely by Oni and Sam::

Kade: "A-ha! I heard that there was a fangirl loose somewhere in here, but I never guessed it would be you, Cam Harvay!"

Yusuke: "You know her?"

Kade: "Yes. Yes I do. I know her pretty well, as a matter of fact. And she's nothing but trouble. She's also an idiot."

Cam Harvay: "HEY! I resent that!"

Kade: "I know. Time for you to go, Cam, we're closing up and besides, there aren't any fangirls allowed back here after the show."

Oni: "Take her away, Sam!" ::laughs::

Sam: ::slaps handcuffs onto Cam Harvay's wrists:: "Come on, you! I told you I would get you!" ::leads her away::

Oni: ::looks at Yusuke:: "You weren't really considering her proposal, were you?"

Yusuke: ::turns red:: "NO! No way, I'm not that stupid!"

Kade: ::laughs::

Oni: "Uh-huh. Whatever you say, Yusuke." ::smirks:: "Well, I'm outta here. It's time for some Sake and I'm all out...I have to pick up some more. Plus I gotta be home in time to sabotage Kurama's date for tonight!" ::grins evilly:: "See you guys later!" ^__^ ::runs off::

Kade: "I better go, to. I'm gonna call Yami, he said he'd teach me how to be a better duelist!" ^____^ "He's so great! Lock up when you leave, will ya Yusuke?"

Yusuke: "Sure, fine, whatever." ::picks up the garbage bag again:: "Bye Kade."

Kade: "Byeness, Urameshi." ::leaves::

Yusuke: ::takes out the trash and then comes back into the building to take one last walk around the halls before he leaves:: "Heh. Never thought I'd be part of a television show. Kinda funny, I guess." ::suddenly his feet fly out from under him as a rope wraps around his legs and pulls him up to the ceiling::

Yusuke: "AAHHHHH!" ::as he spins around suspended in the air, he is sprayed from head to toe with very sticky maple syrup, and then a bunch of fans blow many bags of feathers at him:: "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" ::the rope breaks and then he falls to the ground::

::THUD!::

Yusuke: "Ouch..." ::sits up and sees his reflection in the mirror that is conveniently placed in front of him:: O.O ::a camera lowers from the ceiling above and focuses on him::

::CLICK!::

Yusuke The Chicken: "SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!"

*THE END*
~Ta-da!

The Hiei & Kurama Show

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 00:34:48 GMT

~The Hiei & Kurama Show~
--Cast Members:
Hiei
Kurama
Yusuke
Kuwabara
*Jesscheaux
*Suki
*Oni
*Juu-Kun
*Rose
*Sam the Security Gaurd
and lastly, Kade

*************
MOVIE TIME!
*************

Kurama: "As a special treat for all you loyal fans, we would like to present to you our own version of "Mr. Wrong" right here on our show."

Kade: "If you've never seen the movie before, it stars Ellen DeGeneres, my favorite comedian, and it comes on HBO once in a while...you can also rent it if you want. I think it's pretty funny. The movie you're about to see is a parody of the real one."

Oni: "Yeah, and we're finally gonna use that big screen that's always hanging up there!"

Suki: "Bet you all thought it was just for show, huh?"

Yusuke: ::presses random buttons on the remote control...he isn't exactly a technical genius:: "Why won't this stupid thing work?"

Rose: ::rolls her eyes:: "You're doing it wrong!" ::grabs the remote control and presses the 'play' button:: XP "There ya go."

Yusuke: -_-

Jesscheaux: ::comes in balancing many bowls of popcorn:: "Somebody wanna get the lights?"

Kuwabara: ::follows behind her, with an armload of soda cans:: "I would, but my arms are full and I can't..." ::almost drops a can, but catches it just in time::

Sam: "I'll do it!" ::runs over to dim the lights::

::Everyone sits down in the chairs with a bowl of popcorn and a can of soda, and the movie begins::

********************************************************************************
MR. WRONG
Starring:
Suiichi Minamino/Kurama
Jesscheaux Kuwabara
Kazuma Kuwabara
**********************

Valentine's Day. To any woman who had met that special somebody, it was a day to show that person how much you cared, to realize how lucky you were to have him or her in your life and cherish the time the two of you spent together. It was all about love, man. But to any woman who was unlucky enough not to have a boyfriend, or even a date for that matter, Valentine's Day was just a cruel reminder of that fact.
That was the case for a young woman currently engaged in the task of driving to work, who went by the name of Jesscheaux. Her search for Mr. Right was not exactly turning out to be a great success, and now it was Valentine's Day, which meant she would be forced to watch all her other co-workers recieve flowers and candy from their significant others while she just wallowed in her pool of lonliness. She stared out the window of her car, already seeing couples holding hands while walking down the sidewalk, even though it was still pretty early to be outside.
She arrived at work, parking her car and entering the building. As she passed yet another smiling youg couple on the way in, she began to wonder if she would ever find that kind of happiness.
"Jesscheaux!"
Turning around, Jesscheaux noticed one of her co-workers, Oni, holding a large bouquet of red roses. "Oh hey Oni, what's up? Did you get those from Heero?"
"Yeah!" Oni grinned. "I think he loves me, Jess!"
Jesscheaux managed a small smile. "That's awesome, Oni. Really, I'm happy for you." She stepped into her office as Oni left with a smile on her face, carrying to flowers off to put them in some water. Jesscheaux turned to shut the door, catching her reflection in the glass door while doing so. She certainly wasn't ugly, and most people couldn't understand why she didn't have a boyfriend yet. Her big, green eyes briefly examined the image in the mirror, seeing a young woman of about five foot seven in height, dressed in a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved purple shirt, with long medium-brown hair that was quite curly that day, just the way she liked it.
She let the door shut, turning away from the door and sitting down at her desk. Jesscheaux was prepared for another long session of work. There was nothing special about this day for her. After a few minutes of looking over the latest paperwork, there came a knock on her office door. "Come in," she called without looking up.
The door opened, and a tall young man with short, curly orange hair stepped into the office. He wore a plain white t-shirt, a black leather jacket, blue jeans, and a hopeful grin. "Good morning, Jess," he said.
Jesscheaux smiled politely at him and stood up. "Morning Kuwabara, what can I do for you?"
Kuwabara walked over to her and proceeded to give her a big hug. "I just wanted to let you know how great you are."
Jesscheaux hugged him back, somewhat reluctantly. "Well, thanks...you tell me that every day, you know."
Kuwabara continued to hug her. "You need to be told that every day, Jess. I also want you to know that I'm not giving up on you so easily."
Jesscheaux sighed slightly. She knew that Kuwabara liked her a lot, but she felt differently. She just didn't think a relationship with a co-worker would work out and she was hesitant to even try it. As she remained in Kuwabara's embrace, a feeling of awkwardness came over her. "Okay Kuwabara, thank you for that, but you know there's a time for a hug to end and now would be that time..."
"Alright." Kuwabara reluctantly released his hold on her and headed for the door. He stopped after opening it and turned back to her. "Hey, listen, if you want to do something later on...I mean if you want to grab something to eat tonight..."
"Kuwabara...." Jesscheaux began, trying to figure out how to let him down gently. It wasn't the first time Kuwabara had asked her on a date, so she knew he was used to it. Still, it didn't make rejecting him any easier.
Kuwabara sighed before she could say anything more. "I know. Never hurts to ask, though," he said with a smile. "I'll see you later, Jess." With that, he disappeared down the hall and the door closed after him.
The day passed rather swiftly for Jesscheaux as she sat at her desk, working hard as usual. Before she knew it, it was time for her lunch break. Oni was kind enough to stick her head into the office to remind her that it was break-time.
"And quit working so hard," Oni said as she left the room, "you're making the rest of us look bad!"
Jesscheaux laughed and followed Oni out of the room. She was thinking of going to the break room, where all the other employees usually went, but something made her change her mind. Instead, she decided to go to the new cafe just across the street. She had been meaning to go there ever since the building was finished, but had never really gotten around to it. Now was the perfect time.
She entered the new cafe, immediately liking what she saw. The walls were painted a light purple, and the tables were colored dark purple. White chairs were pushed up to the tables, and the radio was playing softly in the background. There weren't too many people in the building, as the cafe wasn't really that popular yet. Jesscheaux went up to the counter to order something to eat, but failed to notice a young man who had the exact same intentions.
"What can I get for you today?" Asked the person at the register.
"A Coca-Cola, please," said Jesscheaux and the young man in unison.
Jesscheaux looked up, finally noticing him. His long, crimson-red hair cascaded past his shoulders, accenting his emerald green eyes. Dressed in a short-sleeved white polo shirt that was tucked neatly into his khaki pants and held in place with a black belt, he seemed to have a very elegant and calm demeanor, which seemed quite unusual but attractive nonetheless. "You're a fan of Coca-Cola too?"
He nodded. "Yes, it would appear so."
Jesscheaux smiled at him. "That's amazing...people are always asking me why I like Coca-Cola, and I'm always hearing about how Pepsi is SO much better than Coca-Cola...it's really nice to meet somebody who hasn't been brainwashed."
He smiled slightly. "Yes indeed it is." Then he realized he hadn't told her his name and extended his right hand. "Dear me, I apologize. I have not introduced myself yet. My name is Suuichi Minamino, and it is very nice to meet your aquaintance."
Jesscheaux grinned and shook his hand. "My name is Jesscheaux, but you can call me Jess. It's nice to meet you, too." She couldn't stop looking at him, and suddenly felt herself blushing.
"Would you mind terribly if I joined you for lunch?" Suuichi wondered. Jesscheaux could only shake her head in reply, wondering if she had finally met somebody special.

----->THE NEXT DAY<-----

Jesscheaux practically skipped into her office, singing lightly and feeling as though nothing in the world could ruin her great mood. Lunch with Suuichi had gone perfectly. He was such an amazing person, and she could only hope that things would continue to go as great as they did yesterday.
Oni opened the door, noticing Jesscheaux's high spirits right away. "Hiya Jess! Did you have a nice Valentine's Day?"
Jesscheaux nodded at her co-worker. "The best! I had lunch with a guy..."
Oni stepped into the office, looking very interested. "Really? C'mon, let's hear about it! Is he your boyfriend yet?"
"No, no," Jesscheaux said, but was interrupted by the door opening again. She watched as a woman with an armload of roses stumbled in.
"Jesscheaux...these came for you from 1-800-FLOWERS..." she said as she laid the five dozen roses on the desk and then left the room.
"Holy Sake!" Oni gasped. "And he isn't your boyfriend, Jess?"
Jesscheaux grinned. "Well, I guess he is..." She looked up as Kuwabara entered the room. "Hey Kazuma," she greeted him.
Kuwabara noticed all the roses on the desk, but said nothing about them. "Hi Jess." He gave her a rather half-hearted smile, as if he just realized that Jesscheaux had a new boyfriend and it certainly wasn't him. He looked a bit disappointed, but was trying not to let it show.
Jesscheaux felt bad for him, but what could she do? As Kuwabara turned to exit the room (what, no hug today?) she called "Hey, are we still going to watch the game tomorrow night?" They weren't a couple, but they were still friends after all.
Kuwabara turned to her and nodded before disappearing down the hall.
The day just wasn't going by fast enough. Suuichi had asked Jesscheaux on a date right after work, and so naturally the day was dragging on and on. The clock seemed to slow down an hour before she was supposed to get out, and it was quite maddening. Finally, the time came for Jesscheaux to leave work, that god-forsaken place, and meet Suuichi at the park for their date.
As she hurried on towards the park, Jesscheaux hoped that she looked alright. She didn't want Suuichi to be sorry that he had asked her on a second date. But she soon discarded those worries. After all, what really matters is what's on the inside. Suuichi was sitting on the park bench by the time she got there. He stood up and smiled when he saw her.
"Darling, you look ravishing," he said to her. He took one of her hands and kissed it.
"Um...thanks," Jesscheaux replied, not used to being called 'darling' and having her hand kissed. The two of them sat down on the bench and talked for a while. Suuichi kept looking at her and smiling warmly, telling her how beautiful she was and how glad he was that he had found her, all the while gripping her hand. Once when Jesscheaux gently tried to pull her hand away, he gripped it even tighter and refused to let go, pretending not to notice. This made her feel a little uneasy, but she just told herself that she was being silly. After all, Suuichi really liked her, of course he would want to hold her hand. That was normal...right?

----->TWO DAYS LATER<-----

Suuichi decided to drop the bomb that night at dinner. The two of them had just ordered their dishes when he reached across the table and took her by the hands.
"Jesscheaux, I must confess something to you..."
Jesscheaux looked at him inquisitively, wondering what he was going to say. "Okay. What is it?"
"You see, the truth is, I am not completely human. I am actually a three hundred year old fox demon and my real name is Kurama. Please know that this does not change the love I have for you, my dear. You mean so much to me and I would be unable to go on without you."
Jesscheaux pulled her hands away. "What are you talking about?" A three hundred year old demon? That she could understand why he wouldn't tell her right away, but why would he keep his real name a secret? And how could he love her if they had only known each other for a few days? Kurama seemed to sense her doubt, and reached across the table again to place one of his hands on top of hers.
"My dearest Jesscheaux, do you not believe in love at first sight? I felt that strong connection the moment I looked into your gorgeous eyes. We have an amazing thing here, and I do not want to lose it."
Jesscheaux shook her head, doubtfully. He was really starting to creep her out with all this lovey-dovey talk...she wasn't sure she felt the same way about him. "I don't know, Suui--I mean, Kurama. You're not the person I thought you were. I think...I mean, what I'm saying is..." She sighed and tried to figure out the best way to break it to him. She took the salt and pepper shakers and decided to create a demonstration. "Okay. Take salt and pepper for example. They go great together, right? But...they don't have to. See, sometimes salt goes fine by itself, or...with other herbs. Kurama, I guess basically what I'm saying is, I want to see other herbs." She forced herself to look him in the eye, so he would not question her sincerity. "Do you understand that?"
Kurama just stared at her for a moment, and then he gave her a gentle smile. "Oh honey...listen, I know that you are frightened. I know, and I understand. I am willing to help you get over this fear you have, but I am asking you: jump off a cliff with me."
Jesscheaux shook her head, "I don't wanna jump off a cliff, Kurama."
"Take this leap with me," Kurama continued. "I know that this relationship will work if you just give it a chance. Just jump off that cliff with me, Jess. Take my hand and jump off the cliff with me."
Jesscheaux shook her head again. "Kurama, I'm not jumping off any cliffs..."
Kurama took his hand and held it up. "How much do you think I love you, Jess? Enough to break my own finger?"
Jesscheaux shut her eyes. "Oh God please no..."
Kurama took hold of his pinky finger. "Do you think I love you enough to break my own finger? I will do it, Jesscheaux. I will do it for you."
"Don't break your finger, Kurama, that's stupid."
CRACK!
In one swift motion, the red haired fox demon had broken his pinky finger. Kurama bit his lower lip and winced in pain, but tried to conceal it as best he could. "I did it for you, honey. That is how much I love you..."
Jesscheaux stared at him, unsure of what she should do. He was crazy! She knew right then and there that she had to get out of that "relationship" before things got worse. She stood up. "That's enough, okay? Listen, this is not going to work between us Kurama. I'll call the hospital and tell them what happened to you, but after that I'm leaving." With that she left to go use a payphone.

----->THE NEXT DAY<-----

Jesscheaux hadn't heard anything from Kurama for the rest of the night and all morning. She hoped that he understood and was taking it alright. But the second she set foot into her office, she knew that she should have been more clear.
Flowers decorated practically every inch of her office--red roses, to be exact. An eight by ten inch color photograph of Kurama sat on her desk in front of several packages and cards. Jesscheaux opened one of the cards and read "We belong together. 'Tis fate, my love. You cannot deny it." In one of the packages, Jesscheaux found a a large t-shirt that said "Keep me close to your heart" inside a thought bubble with a picture of Kurama's face in the upper left corner of the shirt, right where a person's heart would be.
Suddenly Kuwabara entered the room, and in a frenzy Jesscheaux swept all of the gifts off her desk so that Kuwabara wouldn't see them. She straightened up and smiled at Kuwabara as he closed the door behind him.
"How's it going, Jess?"
"Fine," Jesscheaux nodded. "It's going just fine. What's up with you?" As she was looking at him, Jesscheaux began to deeply regret turning him down every time he had asked her out. She wondered if she would ever get another chance with him. She mentally slapped herself for never noticing how cute he actually was. Here she was in a search to find Mr. Right, and he may have been standing in front of her all along. Instead she had gone and found Mr. Wrong...what a mess.
"I'm alright," Kuwabara answered. "Listen, I haven't talked to you for a few days and I wanted to make sure you're alright. You've been acting a little strange lately."
"I know," Jesscheaux sighed. "I'm fine, though. Really." If a certain red-haired fox boy would leave her alone, that is.
Kuwabara nodded. "Okay. Just checking. See ya later, Jess."
Jesscheaux waved goodbye to him somewhat sadly, and returned to work.

----->LATER THAT AFTERNOON<-----

"Freedom at last!" Jesscheaux cried out as she finally returned home after work. She got out of her car and turned to her house. Suddenly she stopped dead in her tracks. "What's all this stuff?" There was stuff all over the porch--stuffed animals, balloons, a painting of Kurama, and dozens upon dozens of red roses. Jesscheaux stared at it all in shock. "Enough is enough!" She fumed. Didn't he get it when she told him that she didn't want to see him anymore?
She ran up the steps, kicking a hole in the large painting on her way. She opened the door to her house, and screamed.
Kurama smiled, holding a bouquet of flowers in his arms. "Why, hello honey. Did you have a nice day at work? I must say, you look more gorgeous than ever on this lovely day. Have I told you lately that I love you?"
"How did you get in here?" Jesscheaux ran out of the house. "Stay away from me, Kurama! I told you I don't want to see you anymore, and that means I never want to see you again alright?"
Kurama chuckled. "Now now, I know that you are very stressed from work. Do not worry sweetheart, I am here to help. I promise I will always take care of you." He began to walk towards her, and Jesscheaux turned around and ran away from him...unfortunately, in her haste she failed to notice the 1-800-FLOWERS truck coming up the street as she ran across it...not until it was too late anyway.

----->IN THE HOSPITAL<-----

"Unnhhh," Jesscheaux mumbled as she regained consciousness. She looked up and saw her sister sitting over her.
"Good, you're finally awake," her sister said. "You aren't hurt bad, but we were all so worried about you...especially Kurama. But don't you worry, Jesscheaux. Everything is going to be just fine. And after the wedding, you and Kurama will be inseperable!"
Jesscheaux blinked.
Suddenly Kurama appeared above Jesscheaux's sister. He grinned. "That's right, Sis. Jesscheaux, honey, we are going to get you home and as soon as you recover from your injuries, we can live happily ever after."
Dum, dum, DUM!
Jesscheaux's eyes went wide with alarm. How was this happening? She held up her left hand and immediately spotted an engagement ring adorning her ring finger."Ohhhhhh," she groaned, too weak to say much else. Then she passed out.

----->LATER THAT NIGHT<-----

When Jesscheaux came to, it was after dark. She noticed Kurama sitting in a chair at the foot of her bed, asleep and snoring lightly. She knew right away that she had to get the heck out of there and as far away from Kurama as humanly possible. She slid out of bed and hurriedly put her shoes on. Running over to the window, she opened it up, taking great care not to wake the sleeping fox. Jesscheaux climbed out the window (good thing her room was on the first floor!) and was nearly home-free...until the window decided to slam and awaken Kurama.
"Oh no!" Jesscheaux dropped to the ground and ran just as Kurama opened the window.
"Honey! Where are you going?" He wondered. "Come back, sweetheart, you need your rest!" He jumped out the window and began to run after her. "Darling, you must not strain yourself! Please listen to me! I love you Jesscheaux, you and I were meant to be!"
Jesscheaux ran faster.
However, she wasn't fast enough, and Kurama had caught up with her very quickly. "Come back to the hospital, Angel," he called as he ran down the street beside her.
Jesscheaux glared at him. "ARE YOU CRAZY?"
"Crazy for you, my love," Kurama replied. He lunged for her, wrapping his arms around her and making her stop. "You are still injured, Jesscheaux. You are in no condition to be exercising."
Exercising? This guy just couldn't get through his thick skull the fact that she did NOT want to be with him! How dense could one person be, anyway? She cringed as she felt him sniff her hair.
"What a lovely shampoo..." He said with a sigh. "Ah, how I love you. I must say, even though you have just been hit by the 1-800-FLOWERS truck, you still look as beautiful as ever. You know, I have also been hit hard...by the LOVE truck, that is."
Jesscheaux had had enough at this point. Screw being nice, this was getting way out of control. She lifted one of her feet and brought it down hard on one of his. When Kurama released his hold on her to clutch his aching foot, she stepped away from him. "Kurama, LISTEN TO ME!"
Kurama looked up at her, hopping on one foot. "Yes, my darling, I am all ears..."
"Kurama, I DON'T LOVE YOU! Okay? I never did love you and most likely I never WILL love you. You need to understand that, and you need to LEAVE ME THE HECK ALONE!"
Kurama's eyes filled with sadness upon hearing her words. "Honey...I think you've taken a harder hit to the head than I thought. Come with me, your fiance is going to make everything alright again." He reached for Jesscheaux's arm, but she pulled away before he could touch her.
"HELP!" Jesscheaux screamed, and began to run down the street away from Kurama. "HELP ME! SOMEBODY HELP!"
Kurama chased after her. "Darling, what are you doing? I'm right here!"
Jesscheaux gave him a look of bewilderment. "Yeah but that's the problem, you're over here and I want you to go over there! Leave me alone! HELP!" She went back to yelling for help. "HELP ME SOMEBODY!"
A shadow fell over the two of them, and suddenly they both stopped in their tracks. "Is this man bothering you, Jess?"
Jesscheaux looked at the stranger hopefully. "Kuwabara?"
The stranger stepped into the light of the street lamp, and they saw that it was indeed Kuwabara. He looked at Kurama. "You'd better get out of here and leave her alone if you know what's good for you!"
Kurama scowled at Kuwabara. "I will do no such thing! I will fight for this woman, because I love her!"
Kuwabara held up a hand, creating a ball of orange energy that soon extended into a weapon shaped like a sword. "Well so do I, punk! So get ready to be defeated at the hands of Kazuma Kuwabara!"
Jesscheaux gasped. Kuwabara loved her? Despite the situation, she felt her heart swell with happiness. Kuwabara loved her! She smiled at Kuwabara, who caught her eye and blushed. "You get him good, Kazuma!" Jesscheaux cheered for him.
"Thanks, Jessi," Kuwabara grinned. Kurama, meanwhile, was one unhappy camper. First his fiance tells him that she doesn't love him, then another guy comes to take her away, and NOW that Kuwabara fellow thought he was going to beat him!
Kurama clenched his fists, and reached behind his head to take the rose he kept stored in his hair for just such an occasion. "Rose Whip!" He shouted, and the rose extended into a long, thorned whip. "You will not win the love of my life over so easily!" He growled.
"We'll see about that!" Kuwabara retorted. "SPIRIT SWORD GET LONG!" The orange sword grew to ten times its normal length, hitting Kurama square in the stomach and sending him flying into the brick wall a hundred yards away.
"Uhnnhhh," Kurama groaned in pain as he slumped to the ground. "I was wrong," he said as Kuwabara moved towards him. "I am not man enough for Jesscheaux and therefore unworthy of her love. However, you have defeated me with such ease...I will no longer stand in your way. The love the two of you have for each other is plain to see. I have been blind to the truth for much to long." Then he fainted.
Kuwabara shrugged. "Works for me." Then he started laughing. "Man, that was really easy!" He looked over to Jesscheaux as he made his Spirit Sword disappear, and the two ran to each other.
"Kuwabara, you were so awesome!" Jesscheaux gushed. "I can't thank you enough!" She hugged him tightly.
Kuwabara hugged her back, but after a few minutes he said, "Okay Jesscheaux, you know there's a time for a hug to end..."
Jesscheaux let go, laughing. "Okay, I guess I deserved that."
Kuwabara smiled at her. "Would I be out of line if I asked you to be my girlfriend?"
Jesscheaux took his hand in hers. "Of course not, and I would be honored to be your girlfriend, Kazuma Kuwabara. I should have said that a long time ago."
Kuwabara's face lit up like a lightbulb. "Really? This is so great! How about we go on our first date tonight? We could go eat dinner somewhere..."
Jesscheaux nodded. "That sounds perfect." They walked off together. Jesscheaux had finally found Mr. Right, and he had been right in front of her all along. Everything had turned out to be okay in the end.
But what about Kurama?
Sometime after the happy new couple had left to go on their first date together, somebody arrived on the scene to give the fox a helping hand.
"Are you alright?" A young woman knelt down beside Kurama, a look of concern in her eyes.
Kurama gazed upon the face of his saviour. "...Do you believe in love at first sight?"
The girl, a demon with long black hair, ice-blue eyes and cat-like ears, smiled down at him. "I do now..." She helped him to his feet. "My name is Suki...want to go for ice cream?"
Kurama nodded. "That would be lovely. 'Suki'...what a nice name." They linked arms and headed for the ice cream parlor down the street. It looked like everything really DID turn out alright in

THE END!

[AN: And there you have it. I had to shorten it and change a lot of things, especially at the end because I didn't want the story to get too long...but that's basically what happened in the movie. Except at the end, Mr. Wrong didn't end up with another girl...I felt sorry for Kurama so I made it so he had a happy ending too. Hope ya liked it!]

********************************************************************************

Audience: ::claps::

Suki: ::grins:: "What an awesome movie!"

Jesscheaux: "Yeah, I thought it was pretty good too."

Kurama: "My character was beaten so easily..." ::looks embarrassed:: "I am certain that would never happen in real life."

Oni: "Well it's just a movie, bro!"

Kurama: "Yes, I know. I apologize, I am making a fuss over something that does not matter much."

Yusuke: “Well, why don’t we bring out the guest?"

Kurama: "Alright, please allow me to introduce the somewhat dim-witted, but nevertheless incredibly powerful super saiyan, Son Goku!"

Goku: ::walks out with a big dopey grin plastered across his face, waving to the cheering fans:: "Hi everybody!" ::laughs:: "Boy this sure is fun! I haven't been on TV for a while!"

Kade: “Hi Goku! Welcome to The Hiei & Kurama Show! This is our first episode since we came over here, to Mediaminer!”

Goku: ^_^ “Wow, I’m so honored!” ::sits down in one of the chairs:: “How come you left Fanfiction.net anyway?”

Oni: “They booted us off!” ::drinks Sake::

Kurama: “Yes, it’s true. Although we’re uncertain of the real reason for that happening.”

Jesscheaux: “I bet it was because Hiei destroyed too many fans!”

Hiei: “I bet it was because most of the cast is composed of pathetic incompetent ningens.”

Kuwabara: “I bet it was because Urameshi was being a baby!”

Yusuke: “I bet it was because the TV people hate juggling and stupid blue spirit beasts!” ::sticks tongue out at Rose::

Rose: “I bet it was because Yusuke is too big of an idiot to be on TV.” XP

Kade: “I disagree with you all–I think it was because we were getting too popular over there and they just couldn’t HANDLE it!”

Everyone: “YEAH!” ::high-five each other::

Goku: ^__^ “I like steak. Do you guys have anything to eat?”

Everyone: *sweatdrop*

Kurama: “Er...well, we had a snack table backstage, but I think Yusuke took care of it.”

Oni: “I have some Sake, Goku!” ::offers him a bottle::

Kurama: “Don’t give him THAT, Oni!” ::takes the bottle away::

Goku: “Sake sounds delicious...what is it? Can I have some?”

Oni: -_-U

Kurama: “Goku, I promise that I shall take you out to an all-you-can-eat buffet afterwards, but for now we must go on with today’s show. Would you mind terribly if we began by asking you a few questions?”

Goku: ^_^ “Not at all...umm, what did you say your name was again?”

Kurama: “My name is Kurama.”

Goku: ::does that cute Goku Laugh:: “Oh right. Well, go ahead and ask me anything!”

Hiei: “Hn. How does it feel to be the second stupidest being in the universe?”

Goku: ::blink blink:: “Second? Who’s the first?”

Hiei: ::jerks thumb towards Kuwabara::

Jesscheaux: “My sweetie is NOT stupid, Hiei you baka! Stop picking on him! You know it wouldn’t kill you to be nicer once in a while.”

Hiei: “I’ll try being nicer if he tries being smarter.”

Jesscheaux: ::whaps Hiei::

Hiei: ::death glare:: “How dare you touch the great Hiei!”

Goku: “Gee Hiei, you remind me of Vegeta!” ^_^

Hiei: >_<# “Mention that baka’s name again and I will rip your flesh apart and burn it to ashes.”

Goku: O.o

Kurama: ::sigh:: “Pay no attention to him Goku, he is always in a bad mood.”

Goku: ::scratches his head:: “Alright.”

Yusuke: “Well I have a question, Goku...how many times have you saved the world already?”

Goku: “Ummm...” ::tries to count on his fingers::

Hiei: “Hn, we’ll be here all day...”

Goku: “Well, to tell you the truth I’ve saved the world so many times I completely lost track a long time ago.”

Oni: ::shrug:: “Fair enough. Now...have you ever tried Sake?” ::winks::

Kurama: “Oni!”

Oni: “What? It was just a simple question, Kurama.”

Goku: “Hmm...once Master Roshi gave me something he called ‘beer’ and told me to drink it. After that, I felt really funny. I remember running around screaming something about yellow koala bears coming to get me...then everything went black, and I woke up dressed in a banana suit behind Capsule Corp. Then I puked my guts out.” ::laughs:: “Pretty weird, huh?”

Juu-Kun: “Pretty dumb.”

Goku: “That’s just what Vegeta said, too.”

Hiei: “Hn! Stupid Saiyan Prince, he is such a retard!” ::crosses his arms::

Jesscheaux: “Hey, you fire midget, don’t say that stuff about Vegeta! He’s WAY better than you!”

Hiei: “Indeed not, that baka couldn’t beat his way out of a paper bag!”

Kurama: “I think we should move on to the questions now.”

Suki: “Okay Kurama, you’re right. Hell, you’re always right!” ::goes to get the mail cart for Kurama::

Goku: “Wow, I just love fan mail!” ^_^

Kade: *sigh* “And I just love Yami!”

All: O.O

Kuwabara: “That was random.”

Yusuke: “Completely.”

Kade: “But you know who I HATE?”

All: -_- “We know, we know...Tea.”

Kade: ^_^ “That’s right! I hate that stupid bitchy bimbo of a brunette with every fiber of my being!”

Suki: ::comes back with the mail cart:: “I’m back, now let’s get to reading this stuff before the mail room overflows.”

Kurama: “Okay Goku, you can read the first letter as it’s our tradition to let the guest go first.”

Goku: “Okay, sounds like fun.” ::picks out a letter:: “This one is from Vegeta-Hiei Lover, who writes ‘Yusuke: Don't you think Keiko is taking bitch lessons from Chichi of DBZ? Kurama: If you and Hiei got into a fight, who would win? Hiei: What would you do if Yukina fell in love with you? Tell the truth and I'll give you some sweet snow. Juu-kun: Barney torture was great! Could you do it again, use Teletubbies or Dora the Explorer. Oni: More Stories! More! More! Jin: Go Shinobi Wind Master!! Keiko: Hey, why don't you leave poor Yusuke alone. You keep slapping him like that and something bad might happen. Jess: I really pity you. Marrying Kuwabara. Huh, sweet he may be, but methinks you forgot something very important. He can be incredibly stupid. I know my mother warned me about the stupid ones. Kuwabara: You need to go thru school again. Starting from Pre-K. You can't stick with one girlfriend for more than two months, and now you're getting married?!?!? I really feel sorry for any kids you and Jess have. And lay-off the Hiei-bashing! I really and truly hope Hiei roasts your ass! Koenma: What's the word I'm looking for. . .ah yes, LOSER!!!!! Ahahahaha!! One more thing, you may the Prince of Hell, but once Vegeta gets downs there, I think you may be out of a job. And quit bashing your poor assistant!’”

Yusuke: “Bitch lessons? Well that would explain a lot! It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if Keiko was taking lessons from Chi-Chi.”

Kurama: “If Hiei and I got in a fight? Well...granted that probably would not happen, but if it did I’m sure it would end up as a draw. Unless I changed into my Youko form, of course. I’m certain there is no arguing who would win that fight, isn’t that correct Hiei?”

Hiei: “Hn...” ::in response to the question:: “If Yukina fell in love with me, I would have no choice but to tell her the truth. Otherwise things could get more complicated than even I could deal with. Now, how about that Sweet Snow?” ::drools::

Juu-Kun: “Teletubbies? That’s not a bad idea...” ::smirk:: “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Oni: ^_^ “I’ve got a great story about Kurama, I could tell it now if you all wanna hear it.”

Audience: ::cheering:: “YES, TELL US! TELL US!”

Kurama: “But–”

Oni: ::ignoring her brother:: “Okay! Well, the other day when we both got home from work, Kurama said that he’d make us lunch. So I went to re-stock my Sake supply, and when I came back Kurama was sitting in the living room watching TV...it was Martha Stewart! And get this, he was TAKING NOTES!”

Audience: ::laugh::

Kurama: ::blushing:: “Oni, must you continue to do this?”

Oni: ^_^ “I’m your sister, that’s what I’m here for!” ::gives him a hug:: “Aww you know I love ya right?”

Kurama: ::sigh:: “Of course...moving on, I believe the next question was for–”

Jin: ::stands up in the audience:: “HOLLA!!” ^_^

All: O.O

Keiko: ::also stands up:: “I’ll leave Yusuke alone once he smartens up and learns not to be such a jerk all the time...”

Jesscheaux: “You don’t have to pity me, and Kuwabara isn’t as stupid as everyone says he is! If they’d just give him a chance...”

Kuwabara: “Starting from Pre-K? Well I DID get a 6% on my latest math test. Maybe you’re right.”

Jesscheaux: “Don’t worry Kazuma, I still love you! But I guess it wouldn’t hurt you to study harder, sweetie.”

Kuwabara: “Yeah, I know. Would you help me?”

Jesscheaux: “Of course I would!” ::huggles him:: “I’d do anything for you, ya know.”

Kuwabara: ::blush:: ^_^ “Thanks!”

Koenma: ::stands up from the audience:: “HEY! Nobody calls the Prince of Hell a loser! I happen to be a very dashing, handsome guy! I refuse to let this ‘Vegeta’ character take my job, ha! I’d like to see him try. And if my assistant was smarter than I wouldn’t need to insult him.”

Yusuke: ::reaches over and picks out another letter:: “Okay guys, this letter is from Raven101319, and she writes ‘Hiei: I know that a lot of people think you and Kurama like each other (so not true) but quick little question...how much time do you two spend together? Just yanno wondering. Oh yeah, being human isn't that bad, it's cool cause when you don't sleep you get little black rings under your eyes! Kurama: A have some friends who are obsessed like they watch you sleep obsessed. Just thought that you should know so that you'll be ready when three to five girl faces show up outside your window. Yusuke: Nothing for you ha ha! Kuwabara: At first I didn't like you, you were a major baka, but now you're cool. Kade: O! Tell Yami I said hi k? Yugi's kinda short for a high-schooler don't cha think? Oh another thing, I don't like Tea either, she sounds like an after school special.’”

Hiei: “Kurama and I train together, so we’re hanging around each other quite a bit. Also, he is my–” ::cough:: “best friend” ::cough cough:: “HN!”

Kade: “Aww, Hiei admits that he has friends!” ^_^

Hiei: “Quiet you baka author!” ::crosses his arms::

Kurama: O_O “People watch me in my sleep? Oh dear...my situation is only growing worse.”

Yusuke: -_-

Kuwabara: “Thank you, Raven!” ^_^

Kade: “Okay, I’ll tell Yami you said hi. Yeah, Yugi’s REALLY short for a high-schooler...he’s actually supposed to be sixteen! He’s in his second year of high-school, as is everyone else INCLUDING Seto Kaiba, and in Japan you only have three years of high-school so that would make him a junior by US standards. And oh yeah, Tea definitely sounds like an after school special. She SO does not deserve Yami!”

Yusuke: “Tch, baka Italian!”

Kade: >_<# “YUSUKE!! Yami is EGYPTIAN you idiot!” ::zaps him with the taser she got from Nekura::

Yusuke: O__@

::ZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!::

Yusuke: @_@ ::hair sticking way up like Einstein’s, or Hiei’s, with smoke coming off him:: “Uhg...sorry...”

Kade: “Ha! Never insult my koishii again!”

Kuwabara: “You’re what?”

Kade: ::blush:: “Nevermind...”

Hiei: “Hn, let’s just get this over with already.” ::takes a new letter, rips it open and reads it:: “This pathetic letter is from an annoying ningen named QT102, and she writes ‘I would like to say that I'm a very loyal fan to Yu Yu Hakusho. and as such a fan, I am a total fan girl to all the Yu Yu cast. (err, the boys I wish I could date, the girls are my role models.) anyway to the questions! yusuke- do you love kayko and tell the truth! and if you do... why do you act all perverted with other girls. and if you don't, your in denial. I know this because I’m a counselor. I have a degree! Kayko- you're in denial about not loving Yusuke, I know... I have a degree! Kurama- when you were/are Youko, do/did you wash your hair a lot? (it's so shiny and pretty! it must take forever to do!) Hiei- I don't understand what the big deal is about Hn. Who cares if you say it or not? I mean, you're the one saying it, not them. And if some fangirl has a problem with that, then 1.) they aren't fans and 2.) they wouldn't have to listen to you say it if they don't stalk you. Kuwabara and Jessi (the person, not the cat.)- congrats on the engagement! err, but how old are you two? Don't you have to be 18 to get married? BTW, i'm a fan of your Kuwabara. Oh! and how are Jessi (the cat, not the person.) and Eikichi. (sp?) getting along? Kade- as always, great job! Rose and oni- tee-hee. now that you have blackmail on your brothers, what do you plan to do?’”

Yusuke: “Tch! I’d like Keiko better if she didn’t slap me around all the time...” ::mumble mumble:: “And I’m no more of a pervert than any other guy!”

All: ::roll their eyes::

Keiko: “I’m not in denial, I don’t love Yusuke...how could I love such a JERK?!”

Kurama: “Yes, I washed my hair all the time in my Youko form, and I still do. In fact I made my own shampoo.”

Hiei: “Hn. Yes, I completely agree with you. It’s not their concern if I like to say ‘hn’ or not.”

Kuwabara: “Well, we’re only engaged right now. Who knows when the wedding will actually be? And I think you’re allowed to get married when you’re seventeen.”

Kade: “Yeah, a girl I know got married when she was a junior in high-school. She was seventeen.”

Kuwabara: Thanks for being my fan!” ^_^ “And the kittens are doing great, they really like each other.”

Kade: ::bow:: “Thank you!”

Rose & Oni: ::look at each other:: “We’re going to Disney World!” [AN: Ha ha ha, I had to!]

Yusuke: “I wanna come!” ::pout:: “No fair!”

Goku: “Oooh, Disney World! Sounds awesome! I went with Gohan and Goten one year, but man that Mad Tea Party ride was scary!”

All: *sweatdrop*

Jesscheaux: “I’ll read the next letter, guys!” ::takes another letter from the pile:: “This is from DarkWaterKitsune, who writes ‘Kurama-kun: *Sighs* Suki's one damn lucky girl. I'll give her that. Ya know, I had a mistress named Suki after my Jagan eye disappeared(if that doesn't make sense then read my story "Jagan Schoolgirl") and she was pretty cool. Hiei: Where do you keep getting the same damn clothes from? I mean, you take your cloak off at the begining of every battle and somehow you have it back the very next day. And even when Zeru put a hole through it and Bui cut it in half you still had another one the next day! Where do they come from? Same with you bandana that covers your Jagan. Kade: Love your story! To all: I have this really annoying preppy kid at school that won't leave me alone and I HATE HIM, but he *Cough* likes me *Cough* I don't care who kills him but somebody needs to! Kuwabara: You know, you're not all that stupid. I mean, you are noble and all. You got an honor code and stuff and you're not dead yet. If you're still alive then you okay in my book! Yusuke: Did anyone ever tell you that you look like a girl without you hair gel on? Ja ne, everybody! ~DarkWaterKitsune PS: Hiei, I just restocked my freezer with sweet snow and I sent an 18-wheeler delivery truck with sweet snow to the studio. I wasn't sure what kind you wanted so I bought every flavor the store had.’”

Kurama: “Er...” ::looks at Suki, who is sitting on his lap again::

Suki: “Yeah I know, I’m pretty lucky!” ^_^

Hiei: “Hn, I’m just that good.”

Kade: “Yeah, that was a good question for Hiei...I always wondered that too. Hiei! You’re pretty cocky today... ‘I’m just that good.’ And thanks, DWKitsune, glad you like it!”

All: “I’ll do it!”

Juu-Kun: “No, let me! I haven’t killed anyone in...” ::thinks:: “...two hours! I’m going to do it and if any one of you get in my way you’ll be killed as well.” ::smirk::

All: O_O

Kuwabara: “Thank you! Another one who doesn’t think I’m a baka! This is a good day!”

Yusuke: “I look like a girl without hair gel? But everyone else said I looked sexier like that...” ::shrug:: “Oh well! At least I’ll look like a sexy girl!” ::grin::

Hiei: ::drools at the thought of all that sweet snow:: “DWKitsune is now my favorite ningen...”

Kade: “Traitor...”

Goku: ::feels bad:: “Aww Kade, you can be MY favorite ningen!”

Jesscheaux: “What would Chi-Chi say?”

Goku: ::shivers:: “Um...” ::too scared to think about it:: “Can I read the next letter?”

Kurama: “Certainly.” ^_^

Goku: “Alright!” ::picks a new letter:: “This is from Lizzee1, who writes ‘Konnichiwa Minna! I hope you all are enjoying your company with Goku, but why would you be? He's a baka little son of a....Ahem...excuse my language...But, firstly, I wanna apologize to Kuwabaka....I mean Kuwabara...I used to hate you, I guess I shouldn't judge people so quickly.....I hope you have a good wedding with your sweetie! Secondly, I got a question for Hiei...I'm kinda nervous to ask this...and I haven't got as much sweet snow as others, but would you like to take me out sometime? I'm sure my allowance will be able to buy us dinner at a nice restaurant, and then we can take a walk by the beach and watch the sunset...I know...I'm just some girl...but just tell me if it's alright...the restaurant might have your sweet snow. Next, a comment thingy for Yusuke. I'm a fan, not a rabid fan, just a plain fan. And lastly, to that bas- Ahem...to that sweet ugly boy named Goku....YOU SUCK! YOU"RE SHOW SUCKS! AND YOU AND VEGATABLE, OR WHATEVER HIS NAME IS< SUCK! YOUR FIGHTING SKILLS ARE LIKE CRAP! AND I HATE YOU! I"M GONNA HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL U, THEN I"LL BRING YOU BACK TO LIFE JUST SO I CAN GO THROUGH THE PLEASURE OF KILLING YOU AGAIN! BOTH OF YOU, I"LL SICK ISEI ON YOU! YOU CAN BOTH GO TO HELL! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!’”

Kuwabara: “Apology accepted, Lizzee1, don’t worry about it. And thank you, I’ll have a great wedding!”

Hiei: ::twitch:: “You mean like a...date?”

Kurama: “Hiei, have you ever been on a date before?”

Hiei: “...”

Kurama: “Well, Hiei?”

Hiei: ::turns slightly pink::

Kurama: ::grins slyly:: “Well Lizzee1, I think it’s time for Hiei to go on his first date. I’ll make sure he goes out with you.”

Hiei: “Kurama!”

Kurama: ::ignoring Hiei’s protests:: “Moving on, Yusuke it’s your turn.”

Yusuke: “Ok. Um, thanks for being a fan? Yeah, that’s it!” ^_^

Goku: O_OU “Erm...eheheh...okay?”

Hiei: “Hn, she sounds interesting.”

All: O.o

Oni: ::finishes off her bottle of Sake:: “I’ll take the next question!” ::picks another letter:: “This is from Melissa-chan, who writes ‘Yusuke: OMG, I LOVE YOU! I swear, I am freakin' obsessed with you! Have Kade give ya my bio, kay? Kayko: DIE EVIL WENCH, DIE! ...Uh, yeah, that's about it... ^^;; Goku: So, what do you like better; food or fighting? And what's it like having Chi Chi as a wife? Kade: Hee hee, hi there! You are a brilliant writer, but I must ask when I get to represent the Yusukeholic. (I emailed you about that) Kurama: How many things do you have in your hair? I mean, you do pull a lot of things out of there... Hiei: Hiei, what would you do if you met a female version of yourself? My buddy Lynx is just that... Maybe you two should hook up... XD Uh, yeah, see y'all round and I hope ya like the fifty pounds of chocolate I sent ya! ^_^V peace.’”

Yusuke: “Oh yeah, I am SO lucky!” ::grabs Kade:: “You have to let me have her bio! NOW! Please!”

Kade: O_o “O...kay...calm down there Urameshi. I’ll give it to you after the show. I promise.”

Keiko: ::stands up from the audience:: X_X ::falls down::

Suki: “What the hell just happened?”

Kade: “Well she wanted Keiko to die...”

Keiko: ::twitch::

Kade: “...Okay so she’s not dead, just unconscious. But, close enough right?”

Goku: “Hmm, food or fighting...that’s a really tough choice you know! I’d have to say food...no, fighting...no, food...no, fighting...no wait...” ::sigh:: “I could never decide! And having Chi-Chi for a wife is definitely pretty hard sometimes...but I do love her.”

Kade: ::waves:: “Hi! Thanks, and I think I e-mailed you back about that...”

Kurama: “Oh, I keep many different things in my hair...you never know just what may come in handy after all.”

Hiei: “Hn, I don’t know what I would do if I met a female version of myself. In practically every fanfic I get paired with a female version of myself...to tell the truth it’s rather annoying. If I wanted to be with somebody exactly identical to me, then I would marry myself. Hn.”

All: “Thanks for the chocolate!”

Kade: ::eating chocolate:: “Wow she’s really nice!”

Hiei: ::also eating chocolate:: “Hn...it’s almost as good as sweet snow.”

Kuwabara: “I’ll read the next letter.” ::takes another letter:: “It’s from Tessajalynn Cilory, who writes ‘Hiei: Yes being an elf is much better than being a ningen, sorry I yelled *mutters* not like you care *back to normal voice* anyways, I sent you sweet snow...though I still don’t know your favorite.....just deal with the vanilla.... Kuwabara: look, I like Hiei's attitude, he calls you a baka, I call you a baka. Jessi: I still don’t like the baka, I apologized though. Goku: did you know that ‘Kakarot’ means carrot??? Kurama: hello, she won’t tell me what happened on your date, will you tell me??? Yusuke: there you have my bio...how much do you hate me now that you know what I look like?? Kade: thanx for giving him my bio. Yami: I know your Kade's...but I think your awesome. and cute...but....I like seto Kaiba more, no offence anyways, I have to go now....luv ya all! byes!’”

Hiei: “Hn, any sweet snow is fine.” ::pigs out::

Kuwabara: “Okay...”

Jesscheaux: “Thanks for the apology.”

Goku: “Really? My name is a food? MmmmMMmmMmm, food...” ::drools::

Kurama: ::blush:: “Well she did make me promise not to tell...I cannot break that promise, but I can say that we had a wonderful time.”

Yusuke: “I don’t hate you at all!” ::perverted grin::

Rose: ::chucks a juggling ball at him:: “Knock that off!”

Yusuke: @___@

Kade: “No prob!” ^_^

Yami: ::stands up from the audience:: “Why thank you very much.”

Kade: O_O ::fangirl shriek:: “YAMI’S HERE?!?!” ::jumps out of her chair and runs up the aisle in the audience:: “Atemu, I didn’t know you were going to be here!” ::tackle-glomps him::

Yami: ::catches her:: “Well it was supposed to be a surprise...”

Kade: ^_^ “Come on!” ::brings him up to the stage with everyone else:: “Hey guys, Yami’s a guest today too because I said so okay?”

Kurama: “Of course. Yami, care to read the next letter?”

Yami: “Sure.” ::takes another letter and opens it:: “This is from Shekahla, who writes ‘Kuwabara: ^_^ Can I go to your wedding? Yusuke: Could you cook a potato in three seconds using the spirit wave? Hiei: Do you have any idea how sick you are for not telling your sister? She’s just gonna look for you until the day she dies not even knowing that she had already MET you! I have nothing to ask you except what the hell is wrong with you?!? Kurama: Ok I heard this from my Onee-chans and I want to make sure if it’s true--Are you really the Makai version of Martha Stewart? Goku: YOU ARE SO COOL!! Can I be your friend? Anyone who can answer: Why does everyone think Malik is evil? T_T It’s his damn Yami! HE’S NOT EVIL I TELL YOU!!’”

Kuwabara: “Sure you can go to our wedding! We’d be honored if you came.”

Yusuke: ::thinks:: “Hm, ya know I bet I could do that! I should try it sometime...”

Hiei: “Hn. Nothing is wrong with me, I just feel that she is better off not knowing about me.”

Kurama: “Martha Stewart?” ::nervous laugh:: “N-no, I don’t think so...” ::turns red::

Goku: ^_^ “Thanks, and sure you can be my friend!”

Yusuke: “Huh, well Malik IS evil.”

Kade: “Malik is hot.”

Yami: ::sweatdrop:: “That was odd... Malik isn’t pure evil, although most of the time his intentions are. Unlike Bakura, he has some good in him.”

Kade: “Bakura is hot too.”

All: ::sweatdrop::

Kade: “WHAT? He is!” -_- “Oh forget it...nobody understands me! I’ll read the next question.” ::takes another letter from the pile:: “Okay, this is from Sailor Dark who writes ‘I have more questions! To Kurama: Will you go out with me? Hiei: I'm not giving your sweet snow back you can't kill because I'm immortal. To Vegeta: HAHAHAHAHA Vegeta is getting a job! Would you consider working with Nappa? To Kuwabara: Sure you don't steal. I got it all on tape. To Kade: I wouldn't mind helping you kill Tea. I hate her!’”

Kurama: “Well, alright. I suppose that would be okay.”

Hiei: “Grr...” ::grumbles about immortal ningens::

Vegeta: ::stands up from the audience:: “GRR IT’S NOT FUNNY THAT I HAVE TO GET A JOB!!” ::wearing a ‘Nappa Auto Parts’ uniform::

Goku: “Oh HI VEGETA!” ::waves:: “I didn’t know you would be here!”

Vegeta: ::humiliated:: -_-

Kuwabara: “I DON’T steal, honest! Why won’t you fans believe me?”

Kade: “Oh, I’d LOVE to have help in killing Tea!” ::smirk::

Yami: “You’re going to what?”

Kade: “Nothing!” ::glomps him:: “I love you...”

Hiei: “Hn, disgusting!”

Kurama: ::sigh:: “I’ll read the next letter. We seem to have a lot of letters today!”

Kade: “Tell me about it! Jeez, the author’s fingers are getting cramped from typing them all...anyway Kurama, go ahead and read the letter.”

Kurama: “Alright Kade. This is from Princess Krystal01 who writes ‘WHO DOESN'T HATE TEA..DIE TEA DIE!...ahem...Kurama, How do u make ur hair so soft?’”

Kade: “Yes, DIE TEA DIE!” ::evil look::

All: O_O

Yusuke: “She’s starting to scare me...”

Kurama: “Well I wash my hair about four times a day with my own secret shampoo.”

Oni: “I can attest to that.”

Jesscheaux: “Well I think that’s all the letters we have for today’s show.”

Kade: “Really? Whew...” ::nearly faints in relief::

Yusuke: “Wait, there’s somebody in the audience...” ::points::

Kade: “Eh?” X_x

Yami: ::catches her:: “She’ll be okay.”

Kurama: “Good.” ::looks at the person Yusuke is pointing at:: “Yes, do you have a question?”

Inu.-Sess.Fan: “I have gifts for people! Hiei and Juu-Kun, I have some stuff if you want them and it might be useful for world take-over.”

Hiei: “Hn, thanks.”

Inu.-Sess.Fan: “Kuwabara, I have a kitten I found being chased by dogs and even though I am a kitten-crazy girl, I have enough in other words I have 3000 to take care of and I don’t need another one so do you want her?”

Kuwabara: “Sure!” ^_^ “I’d love another kitten.”

Inu.-Sess.Fan: Yusuke, I’m starting to be a fan of yours, I don’t know why, oh yeah now I remember it’s because of what Rose said...and yes you do look kinda cute...” ::cough:: “I lied...” ::cough:: “You’re hot...” ::cough::

Yusuke: “Cool! Thanks!”

Inu.-Sess.Fan: “Vegeta, I thought you were a Saiyan, and aren’t Saiyans supposed to be ruthless? They don’t let ningens grab their ears every time they show up! If you can’t beat a ningen then how are you suposed to beat Hiei-sama you baka! And if you even think about yelling at me I’ll personally rip your head off for my own and Hiei-sama’s purposes, and if you call him shorty again you are...well you don’t wanna know if you do just yell at me and I’ll show you!” ::grins evilly showing fangs:: “I was sharpening my claws on another body who yelled at me earlier, just to let you know.”

Vegeta: O_OU ::runs away::

Inu.-Sess.Fan: ::continues:: “Bulma, I wonder how much longer will you do that to Vegeta before he loses it? Hehehehe...”

Bulma: “Well he hasn’t lost it yet, and he won’t if he knows what’s good for him! VEGETA!! GET BACK HERE!” ::chases after him::

All: O_O

Inu.-Sess.Fan: ::continues:: “Goku...oh no. You. And Vegeta. Don’t mix together. I’ve got to see this. Goku beat his ass so the thought of being the strongest can leave. Everyone, get ready for some mess.” 0_0 “And Keiko, you’re cool too but I think you should leave before something happens and give Yusuke a break. Ok I’m still wondering how he is still alive after...um...let’s see...at least 2000000000000000000000000 slaps in the face. O_O If it was me well, let’s just say that I’ll be eating ‘steak fingers’ for my next meal and you won’t be around you see.”

Keiko: “Um...it seems like everyone hates me today...” ::runs off::

Yusuke: “YES! She’s gone, I’m safe for another day!” ::praises the ground Inu.-Sess.Fan walks on::

All: O_O

Rose: “Well that was interesting, Yusuke...”

Hiei: “Hn, are we DONE yet?” ::annoyed::

Kurama: “No, there’s still one more guest. Okay you two, come on out!”

::a girl of medium height with long blonde hair in a ponytail, blue eyes, and dressed in green shorts and a white t-shirt comes out onto the stage with a strange brown animal sitting on her shoulder::

Girl: “Hi everyone, I’m Ren-Okye!”

Yusuke: “Hi, what’s that thing on your shoulder?”

Ren-Okye: “That’s Ren, she’s a cabbit.”

Ren: “Meow meow meow!” ::Ren looks like a cross between a rabbit and a cat, with a red jewel on her forehead (think Tenchi, people)::

Puu: ::sitting on top of Rose’s head:: “Puuu puuuuu!”

Kurama: “How do you do, ladies?”

Ren-Okye: “We’re okay. This is a cool show, you guys! It’s great to be on it.”

Kurama: “Well it’s great to have you here.” ^_^

Hiei: “Hn, more ningens?”

Ren-Okye: “Nope, I’m a demon thankyouverymuch!”

Oni: “Really? What kind?”

Ren-Okye: “Tiger demon! Pretty cool, huh?”

Yusuke: “Hmph, not as cool as ME!” ::crosses his arms::

Rose: ::bops him on the head:: “Be nice!”

Ren: “Meow meow meow!”

Suki: “What’s she saying?”

Ren-Okye: “She has a question for Puu.”

Puu: “Puu!”

Ren: “Meow meow! Meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow?”

Puu: ^^ “Puuuuuuu! Puu puu puuuuuuu. Puu puu puuu puupuuuu puu puuuuuuu.”

Ren: “Meow, meow.”

Puu: “Puuu, puu puuuuuuu puuu puu puu!”

Ren: “Meow meow meow, meow meow!”

All: O_O

Rose & Ren-Okye: ::the only ones who know what they’re saying to each other:: “Ha ha ha, that’s pretty funny!”

Yusuke: “What the crap are they saying?”

Kurama:::shakes his head:: “You may be better off not knowing, Yusuke.”

::Buzzer sounds, signaling the end of the show::

Hiei: “Hn, too bad, we’re out of time.”

Oni: “Well aren’t we the cheery one...”

Kade: ::wakes up:: “Are we done yet?” ::sees that she’s in Yami’s arms and promptly passes out again::

Suki: “Hmm, maybe I should try that sometime!”

Kurama: “Eh-hehehe...well everyone, it’s time for us to go but we’ll be back next time for another action packed episode of “The Hiei & Kurama Show!”

Goku: ::eating chocolate:: “Mmmm, delicious!”

Kuwabara: “Hey, I want some chocolate too! No fair!”

Juu-Kun: “Baka!” ::hits him over the head with a steel chair::

Kuwabara: @__@

Jesscheaux: >_<# “That’s it! There is NO WAY you’re going to keep doing that to MY KUWABARA YOU BAKA!” ::jumps up:: “You’re going to pay dearly for that!” ::grabs Kade’s taser from her ‘unconscious’ hands and zaps Juu-Kun with it::

::ZZZzzZZZzzzzZZZZ!!!::

Juu-Kun: o__@ ::smoke coming off of him::

Hiei: “Hn, the baka ningen has gone mad.”

Jesscheaux: ::whirls on him:: “You want some of this too, you fire baka!?”

Hiei: ::gulp:: “Hn!”

Jesscheaux: “That’s what I thought! Now nobody even THINK of messing with Kazuma Kuwabara again unless you’re prepared to deal with me!” ::smirk::

Oni: “Wow...go Jessi...”

Kuwabara: ::comes to his senses and sees Juu-Kun:: “Whoa, did my Jessi-anata do that?”

Jesscheaux: “I did it for you, Kuwabara!”

Kuwabara: “Really? I love you sweetheart!” ::hugs her::

Suki: “Okay. Time to go now, buh-bye everyone!”

Yami: ::picks up Kade and carries her off the stage::

Yusuke: ::tosses Juu-Kun onto his shoulder and carries him off the stage::

Everyone Else: ::follows::

Goku: ::before walking off, he waves to the camera:: “Bye!”

The Hiei & Kurama Show

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 00:32:28 GMT

~The Hiei & Kurama Show~
--Cast Members
Hiei
Kurama
Yusuke
Kuwabara
*Jesscheaux
*Oni
*Suki
*Rose
*Juu-Kun
Kade
*and introducing Sam, the Security Gaurd

*other authors

********************************
Previously on the Hiei & Kurama Show:
********************************

--BEGIN SCENES--

*ON A BIG LIT-UP STAGE SURROUNDED BY FANS*

Kurama: ::singing:: "You'll be in my heart, yes you'll be in my heart!"

Yusuke: ::singing:: "From this day on, now and forever more!"

Kuwabara: ::singing:: "You'll be in my heart, no matter what they say. You'll be here in my heart, always!"

Hiei: ::singing:: "Don't listen to them, cuz what do they know? We need each other, to have, to hold! They'll see in time, I know..."

All: ::strike a pose:: "We'll show them together, cuz you'll be in my heart!..." [AN: I was watching Tarzan, so sue me!]

Fangirls: ::cheer and swoon::

*ON AN ICY MOUNTAIN TOP*

Kenshin: ::hanging on to the cliff for dear life:: "I can't--I can't make it! Go on, Jesscheaux, save yourself!"

Jesscheaux: ::dives toward him and grabs his arm so he won't fall to a certain death:: "I never leave a man behind, Kenshin! You can do it! Don't give up, just hang in there!"

*IN A DOCTOR'S OFFICE*

Oni & Heero: ::look expectantly at the doctor, who holds test results in his hands::

Doctor: "The results are in. The two of you are...related."

Oni: ::gasp::

::Dramatic soap opera music plays::

Heero: >.< "This sucks!"

*ON A DESERTED ISLAND*

Hiei: ::struggling to light a fire:: ::gives up:: "I can't do it, it's impossible! I've failed!"

Suki: "You're a fire demon, man! Pull yourself together!" ::back-hands Hiei, hoping to snap him out of it::

Yusuke: ::comes out of the shelter:: "We're all...out...of food!" ::breaks down crying::

Suki: ::falls to her knees, a paralyzed expression on her face:: "We...are...going...TO DIE!!"

::Dum...dum...DUM!!::

*ON THE SET OF JERRY SPRINGER*

Rose: ::glares at Jesscheaux:: "Well let me tell you something, girl, Kuwabara's coming home with ME!"

Jesscheaux: ::slaps Rose::

Audience: "JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY!"

*IN A DARK DARK ROOM, MAYBE A CLOSET*

Yusuke: ::pounds on the door frantically:: "SOMEBODY GET ME OUTTA HERE!"

*IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT*

Bakura: ::waving a red flag wildly:: "HEEEEEELLLLLLLLP MEEEEEEEEE! I'm stuck out here with an idiot mortal!"

Joey: ::spelling out 'dear anyone who cares, we are both trapped out here and we will most likely die if we don't get rescued, so if it ain't too much to ask, would you please send us some h--' in the sand using large rocks:: ::runs out of rocks:: "Aw darnit, now we're doomed! Nobody's gonna see that we need help now!"

Bakura: ::looks at Joey in pure disgust, then falls to his knees and cries::

*IN A BEAUTIFUL GARDEN*

Juu-Kun: ::smiles gently and picks a handful of daisies:: "So beautiful...they've grown up so fast!" ::sniffles::

Oni: ::walks in:: O.O "Is that MY dress?"

*STILL IN THE CLOSET*

Yusuke: "SOMEBODY! ANYBODY! It's dark in here and it smells bad! ...AHHH!! What was that sound? EEEEEE!! Something's coming for me!" ::scratches desperately at the door::

*IN A FIELD SOMEWHERE*

Marik: ::running from an angry mob:: "HELP!" ::looks over his shoulder::

Angry Mob: ::yelling loudly and waving pitchforks::

Marik: O.O ::runs faster::

*AT KURAMA'S VANITY TABLE*

Hiei: ::brushing his hair:: "One thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three..."

*BACK AT THE CLOSET*

Yusuke: ::screaming like a little girl:: "HELP ME PLEASE! I WANNA GO HOME! I WANT MY MOMMY!!" ::kicks and hits at the door furiously::

*IN THE BATHTUB*

Kurama: ::singing while splashing his hands in the bubble bath:: "Rubber Ducky, you're so fun!
Rubber Ducky, I love you! Rubber Ducky, you're so cool!..."

*IN KADE'S OFFICE*

Yami: "Kade, I must tell you, I've been madly in love with you since the moment I first saw you."

Kade: ::dramatic gasp::

Yami: ::grabs her shoulders and stares into her eyes:: "Will you...marry me?"

::Dramatic soap opera music plays::

*IN THE CLOSET ONCE MORE*

Yusuke: ::quiet as a mouse, awaiting the horrors soon to come:: ::suddenly becomes stiff as a
board:: "It's...here..." O.O ::cowers on the floor:: "DON'T HURT ME PLEASE!" ::sees the face of
his tormentor:: "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

*IN A STUDIO*

Rose: ::sitting at an easel wearing a beanie cap and holding a paintbrush:: "Hmm, we'll add a bit of bluey-blue to our sky..." ::adds the 'bluey-blue':: "Wow, that looks terrific! And now to add some happy-green to our dull grass..." ::adds the 'happy-green':: "Ah, that's much better!"

*AT KURAMA'S HOUSE*

Kurama: ::goes to use the bathroom:: ::opens the door and screams bloody murder::

Kuwabara's Voice: "HEY! Don't you ever knock?"

Kurama: ::runs out and slams the door, moaning like he's going to be sick:: "MY EYES, THEY
BURN!"

*OKAY I LIED, ONE MORE TIME IN THE CLOSET*

Yusuke: ::huddled in a corner in the fetal postion, rocking back and forth, white as a sheet with his left eye twitching:: "Kill me now kill me now kill me now kill me now..."

*SOME RANDOM CITY*

Kuwabara: ::standing in front of a large crowd of people:: "LISTEN UP EVERYONE! There's a
bomb in that building, and one wrong move could mean the end this city as we know it!"

::building blows up::

Kuwabara: ::falls to his knees:: "NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

--END SCENES--

*************
Back To Reality:
*************
_________________________________________________________________________

The usual scene is set up--dark blue background colors, a huge television screen that nobody ever uses that is mounted high on the wall, four or five crimson-colored chairs lined up in front of it, and a mahogany table with a vase full of roses set up in front of the chairs::
_________________________________________________________________________

::The cast walks out, and the audience cheers wildly::

Kurama: ::bows and sits down in the chair::

Suki: ::grins and plops herself down onto Kurama's lap::

Kurama: O.O

Kurama's Fangirls: ::growl viciously:: "HEY! GET OFF MY KURAMA! HE'S MINE!!"

Kurama: O.o;;

Suki: ::sticks her tongue out at the fangirls::

Hiei: ::reluctantly sits down in the chair::

Hiei Fangirls: "I LOVE YOU HIEI!! YOU'RE SOOOOOOOOO SEXY!"

Hiei: ::twitches::

Juu-Kun: ::sits down in the chair next to Hiei's::

Kuwabara & Jesscheaux: ::sit down beside each other and wave at the audience::

Oni: ::comes running in with a half-full bottle of Sake:: "Hey everyone! Kurama said that I could do the introduction today, so welcome to another exciting episode of The Oni Show!" ::receives a 'look' from Kurama:: -__- "Oh fine, The Hiei & Kurama Show. Happy, bro?"

Kurama: "Very, thank you."

Oni: "Anyway, we have a cool show for you guys! Yami Yugi from Yu-Gi-Oh! is here, plus we've
got a new member of the crew to introduce to you all...and the usual stuff like questions and me
reading Kurama's diary..." ::receives another 'look' from Kurama:: "...What?! Jeez, I'm kidding!" ::cough:: "--yeah right--" ::cough::

Kurama: ::gives her a strange look:: "Are you alright, Oni?"

Oni: "Yeah sure, Sake just went down the wrong way, that's all." ::innocent smile::

::CLONK! CLONK! CLONK! CLONK!::

Yusuke: ::stumbles out to the stage with four large lumps on top of his head, looking dazed:: @_@ ::tries to sit on a chair, but misses completely and falls on the floor instead::

All: O.O

Yusuke: ::moans:: "The pain..."

Suki: ::still on Kurama's lap and earning dirty looks from his fangirls:: "Uh-oh, what'd you do THIS time, huh?"

Yusuke: ::gives her a confused look:: "I...dun remember..."

Rose: ::walks out onto the stage with Puu on her head:: "Well I do! He grabbed some girl's butt just barely, what else was I gonna do?" ::shrugs and laughs:: "That'll teach the perverted fool!"

Oni: "Well anyway, since I'm doing announcements, did you all like those scenes at the beginning of the show?"

Hiei: "Hn. NO!" ::glares::

Yusuke: ::pouts:: "I didn't either, Kade made me seem like such a baby!"

Rose: ::rolls her eyes:: "I didn't notice any difference..."

Yusuke: >.<# "WHO ASKED YOU?"

Kurama: "Discovering Kuwabara in the bathroom WAS quite horrifying..."

Juu-Kun: ::crosses his arms and scowls:: "And I wouldn't be caught dead in a garden."

Oni: "Oh you guys, it was only for fun...I guess Kade decided she wanted to be random...anyway, it's a good thing it was only for fun because if Heero and I were related for real..." ::trails off and shivers:: "Don't wanna think about it."

Jesscheaux: "Hey, where IS Kade anyway? This is the episode where Yami's a guest, shouldn't she
be here?"

Rose: ::laughs:: "I saw her outside a few minutes ago. She's waiting for him to get here."

All: ::nod:: "Ohhhh..."

Kurama: "Well, shall we get on with it then?"

Jesscheaux: "Sure, let's get this show on the road!"

Suki: ::still on Kurama's lap:: "Alright, what we've got--"

Kurama's Fangirl # 1: "BOOOOOOOOO!! GET OFF MY KURAMA! HE'S MINE!"

Kurama's Fangirl # 2: "GET OFFA HIM! YOU DON'T DESERVE HIM, I DO!"

Suki: ::flips them off and continues to sit on Kurama::

Kurama: ::looks uncomfortable and doesn't want to get caught up in World War III:: "Now ladies,
please..." ::nervous laugh::

Kurama's Fangirl # 54: ::glares at KF # 2:: "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, PRINCESS? EVERYONE KNOWS THAT HOT HUNK OF KITSUNE BELONGS TO ME!"

Kurama's Fangirl # 32: "IN YOUR DREAMS!"

Kurama's Fangirl # 86: "WHY YOU--" ::stands up and slaps KF # 32::

Kurama: "Oh dear...this is beginning to get a bit out of control..."

Strange New Voice: "Alright, BREAK IT UP!" ::a flashlight is shone on the rabid fighting fangirls::

Rabid Fighting Fangirls: ::stop fighting momentarily:: O.O

::A girl of about 5'1" with brown eyes and brown hair in two pigtails jumps onto the stage in front of the audience. She is dressed in a dark blue skirt, a white shirt with "The Hiei & Kurama Show" written on it, and a dark blue jacket with "Security Guard" written in yellow on one sleeve. A security badge is pinned on the jacket::

Oni: ::sigh of relief:: "Good thing you're here, Sam. They were getting kinda crazy..." ::whips out another bottle of Sake::

Yusuke: O.O "Do you have a never-ending supply of those or what?"

Oni: ::shrug:: "Maybe..." ;)

Rabid Fighting Fangirls: ::lose interest and begin fighting again::

Kurama's Fangirl # 29: ::punches KF # 1:: "STAY AWAY FROM MY KURAMA-KUN!"

Kurama's Fangirl # 45: ::kicks KF # 29:: "He is NOT YOURS! Kura-chan is MINE!!"

Sam: "I SAID BREAK IT UP!" ::gives all the fangirls the "crazy eyes" [AN: If you've ever seen the movie "The New Guy" then you know what I'm talkin' about]

Rabid Fighting Fangirls: ::gasp and lean back in their chairs::

Yusuke: ::whispers to Kuwabara:: "She's a strange one isn't she? What was Kade THINKING?"

Hiei: "Hn. As if that baka writer actually thinks at all."

Jesscheaux: "Well at least we have a security gaurd."

Kuwabara: "Yeah, that's true. Why didn't anyone ever think of that before?"

Juu-Kun: ::scowling:: "Because you're all bakas."

Everyone except Juu-Kun: "HEY!" ::lunge for him with their fists held high::

***IN THE PARKING LOT IN FRONT OF THE STUDIO***

Kade: ::sitting on the curb, waiting for Yami to arrive, passing the time playing with the
magnet-lipped voodoo dolls of her and Yami that Oni gave her for Christmas:: ::holds up the Yami doll and does her best Yami voice:: "Kade, there is something that I must tell you..." ::holds up the Kade doll:: "Yes, Yami? I'm listening, what is it?" ::holds up the Yami doll:: "You see, I seem to have fallen madly in love with you." ::holds up the Kade doll:: "REALLY? Oh Yami, I love you too!"

Big Black Limo: ::pulls up to the curb just as Kade was about to make the two dolls kiss each
other::

Kade: ::scowls at the limo:: "How dare you interrupt!" ::suddenly realizes it's Yami's limo:: O.O "...YAMI'S HERE!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOT!" ::jumps up and runs over to the limo just as the
door is opening:: "He's here, he's here, he's here!" ::dances around in circles:: ^__________^

::The back door opens, and Yami steps out of the limo, wearing that cool black outfit he had on during the first Battle City episodes and his usual belts and chains::

Kade: ::tries to contain her fangirl instincts, but fails rather miserably:: "YAMI! YOU'RE HERE!" ::runs to him and super-mega-ULTRA glomps him while crying anime tears of happiness:: "I'm so glad to see you! How was your trip?" ::lets go so he can answer::

Yami: O.O ::somewhat surprised by her reaction to seeing him:: "It was fine. Am I late?"

Kade: "No way, you're right on time!" ::grins:: "I just decided to wait outside for you..." ::blushes::

Yami: "Thank you." ::notices the dolls in Kade's hands:: "What are those?"

Kade: "Oh, these? Heh...um, Oni gave them to me for Christmas! Wasn't that really nice of her?
They're pretty cool, huh?" ::decides not to tell him about the voodoo part::

Yami: ::nods:: "The likeness is uncanny." ::examines the Yami doll:: "This one even has my
Millennium Puzzle."

Kade: ^____^ "I know! Hey, ready to go inside now and meet the others?"

Yami: "Of course." ::politely extends him arm::

Kade: ::latches on:: "Heh...okay, let's go!"

***BACK TO THE SHOW***

Everyone: ::arguing loudly over Juu-Kun's comment::

Kuwabara: ::is punched accidentally by one of Yusuke's flailing arms:: ::gets mad:: "URAMESHI!"
::kicks him in the stomach::

Yusuke: >.<# "KuwaBARA!!" ::dives onto him and they fall onto the floor hitting each other::

Juu-Kun: ::eating popcorn:: "Hn. This is better than HBO. I hope one of them dies..."

Audience: ::chants:: "SAM! SAM! SAM! SAM!"

Sam: "Alright people, BREAK IT UP!" ::runs over and somehow pulls Yusuke off of Kuwabara::

Oni: ::looks up from holding a pack of matches over Kurama's head::

Jesscheaux: ::currently holding Hiei in a headlock:: ::drops him::

Rose: ::takes a picture::

::CLICK!::

Suki: ::lets go of KF # 2, whom she'd been beating the crap out of::

Kurama: "Things have gotten way beyond control already, and the show has barely begun! Don't
make me go Youko on your asses!" ::eyes flash amber::

Everyone:: "EEP!..." ::sit back down in their chairs::

Kurama: ::goes back to his normal self:: "That is much better. Now I certainly hope that Kade has found Yami..."

Kade's Voice: "Did I hear my name? HA, I knew you guys just couldn't do the show without me!"

Yusuke: ::mumbling:: "Duh, you're the writer!"

Kade: ::walks onto stage wearing a huge grin:: "Guess what, you guys, he's here! Yami's here!"

Yusuke: -__- "Hooray. We've only been listening to you yammer on and on about him ever since the
last show."

Kade: "Aww, what's the matter? Jealous cuz YOU aren't the center of attention?"

Yusuke: ::indignant look:: "Nooooooo!"

Kade: ::walks over and pats his head:: "It's okay Urameshi. Remember when you were a guest?"

Yusuke: "It was on the first episode. I remember."

Rose: "So you should feel even more special, because you were the guest for the first-ever episode of The Hiei & Kurama Show!" ::hugs her brother::

Yusuke: "Okay okay, sheesh! You don't need to feel sorry for me! Are you going to introduce that
Yugi guy or what?"

Kade: ::grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him a little. "His. Name. Is. YAMI!"

Yusuke: O.O ::backs away slowly:: "I'm so sorry..."

::CLICK!::

Yusuke: ::glares at Rose:: "Enough blackmail already!"

Kade: ::clears her throat:: "Okay everyone, time to bring out the Really-Super-Mega-Ultra Special Guest! He's the King of Games and probably was the main source of heat in ancient Egypt--" ::wink:: "--YAMI YUGI!"

Audience: ::cheers as Yami walks out onto the stage::

Yami: ::bows slightly:: "Hello."

Yusuke: "Hey, he looks different than he did when I dueled against him."

Jesscheaux: "Yusuke, man, you dueled against Yugi, not Yami."

Yusuke: ::nods, as if he understands completely:: "Ohhhhh, so they're brothers, right?"

Jesscheaux: ::facevault::

Kuwabara: ::shakes his head:: "Man, people tell me I'M stupid..."

Kurama: "Well, Yami, please have a seat and make yourself comfortable."

Yami: ::sits down in one of the empty chairs:: "Thank you."

Kade: ::plops down into the chair beside Yami::

Suki: "So let's start with the questions!" ::sits back down on Kurama's lap before he can object::

Kurama: ::looks around, sees no more empty chairs, and can't complain:: "Alright. I see there are some audience members who have questions. Why don't you go first?" ::points to a girl wearing a light blue shirt::

Girl Wearing Light Blue Shirt: ::stands up:: "I have a question for Yami. Like, what was it like back in ancient Egypt?"

Yami: "...I don't remember. My memory was erased when my soul was sealed inside the Millennium
Puzzle, so I really don't know."

Suki: ::points to another audience member wearing an orange shirt:: "You next. What's your
question?"

Girl Wearing Orange Shirt: ::stands up:: "Um...I was wondering, Yami, can I have your Millennium
Puzzle?" ::makes a puppy-dog face::

Yami: O.O "My puzzle? No, you can't have it."

Oni: ::points to a familiar looking brown-haired bimbo sitting in the audience:: "Hey, you--what are you doing here?"

Brown-Haired Bimbo: ::stands up:: "I have a question to ask, since Yami is one of my good friends and after all, friends are ALWAYS there for each other. Friendship is very important, you know. If you have friends who believe in you, there's nothing you can't do! I believe in Yugi with all my heart, and I know it helps him succeed in all his duels. Friendship is one of the most important influences--"

Kade & Oni: >.<# "SHUT UP AND ASK THE QUESTION!"

Brown-Haired Bimbo [AN: take a guess, people]: ::cringes:: "Okay, jeez. Anyway, I was
wondering...if maybe you would want to go to the Season One Party with me, Yami. Please?"

Kade: #>_<## (really REALLY mad)

Yami: "Well Tea, as you may or may not already know, I'm attending this party with Kade. I must
decline your offer."

Kade: ::falls to the floor in relief:: ^__^ ::stands up and glares daggers at Tea:: -_-# ::wants to kill her, but doesn't want Yami to see her do it:: "You just wait 'til after the show, Tea Gardner!"

Yami: ::looks surprised:: "Is there a problem, Kade?"

Kade: ::tries to look as innocent as possible:: "N-no, of course not! Eheheh...heh..." ::sits back in her chair, whistling and twiddling her thumbs::

Everyone: ::sweatdrop::

Yusuke: "Weirdo."

Rose: ::hits him with a juggling ball::

Yusuke: @__@ "...I take it back...uhhh..." ::slumps to the ground::

Suki: "Well, if there's no more questions from the audience, why don't we just get to the fan mail?"

Kurama: ^_^ "Good idea, Suki. Would you mind going to get the mail cart?"

Suki: -__- ::reluctantly slides off Kurama's lap, much to the satisfaction of the fangirls, and goes to get the mail cart muttering that there should be somebody working in the mail room who could do it instead::

Yusuke: ::gets up:: "So...Yami, how about that re-match?"

Yami: "Re-match? I don't believe I've ever dueled against you before."

Yusuke: "What are you talking about? Sure you did, and you kicked my butt too. You're probably
just too scared to face me again!" ::snickers::

Yami ::sweatdrop:: "I can assure you, I am not afraid."

Kade: ::pokes Jesscheaux while staring at Yami:: "Doesn't he have the most amazing voice?"
::drools:: "And he's...SO...HOT!"

Jesscheaux: ::grins in amusement and hands her a napkin:: "I think you're going to need this."

Kade: ::dabs her chin absentmindedly, still staring at the Pharaoh::

Jesscheaux: ::laughs:: "Dude, you totally missed it. It's on the left side..."

Kade: ::snaps out of her daze and manages to wipe the drool away:: "Oh...whoops." ::blushes in
embarrassment::

Suki: ::comes back out with the mail cart:: "Okay, here it is. I'm guessing we're gonna have Yami read the first letter, right?"

Kurama: ::nods:: "That is correct. Would you do us that honor, Yami?"

Yami: ::nods:: "Of course." ::stands up, walks over to the mail cart, and chooses a letter from the pile::

Kade: ::watching his every move:: "Man, he's so awesome!"

Yusuke: ::crosses his arms:: "Hmph! He's really not THAT great. He's just a really old dude with
spikey hair who knows how to play cards, big deal."

Kade: >.<# ::her head grows to ten times its normal size and fangs appear in her mouth as she yells at Yusuke:: "IT IS TOO A BIG DEAL, OKAY? AND DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT HIM THAT WAY YUSUKE URAMESHI! YOU ARE CRUISIN' FOR A BRUISIN', PAL! ONE MORE SMART REMARK LIKE THAT AND I'LL LOCK YOU INTO THAT CLOSET AGAIN AND STICK A FEW TELETUBBIES AND BARNEY IN THERE WITH YOU!"

Yusuke: ::leaned as far back in his chair as possible:: O_O "Meep...I'll be good..."

All: O.O ::shudders at the mention of the horrid Teletubbies and...*gulp*...Barney::

Kade: ::returns to normal and smiles at Yami as if nothing had happened:: "Okay, go ahead."

Yami: "Alright then. This letter is from Watakushiwaginnokitsuneaisuru--"

Kuwabara: ::impressed:: "Whoa, he got that name right on the first try!"

Kade: ::nods:: "He got mad skillz, Kuwabara."

Yami: ::continues:: "This person writes 'Kurama: Would you be willing to send me some of your
shampoo recipes? I'll send you some of mine. And...um...would you be willing to go out with me? I promise that I won't act like a rabid fangirl. Thanks either way for both! Hiei: There are baka ningens terrorizing me and insulting you and your friends! (Yes, they are your friends, even if you won't admit it.) Will you help me get rid of them? I'll pay you with Sweet Snow! A friend of mine wrote a story in which she put duct tape with anti-demon spells on it over your jagan. What would you do if someone did that to you? And what would you do if someone told your sister that you were her brother? By the way, I found a picture of you laughing and smiling! Kuwabara: Sorry about the 'present', but it was really was fun watching the armadillos pelt you! Pet your cats for me! Yusuke: One of my friends is compeletely obsessed with you. She's a little scary... Kayko: Can you teach me how to slap like you do? Yukina: Your brother is watching over you.'" ::slightly out of breath:: "That was a lot of questions..."

Kurama: ::answering his questions:: ^_^ "I would be more than happy to send you a few of my
shampoo recipes, and look forward to receiving some of yours as well. As for a date with you, of
course I would be willing. It should be a nice change not to date somebody rabid..."

Suki: "Hello Kurama, I'm RIGHT HERE ya know!"

Kurama: ::sweatdrop:: "Er...I, well..."

Suki: ::clings to him:: "It's okay, I know you really love me the most...right?" ::glares out of the corner of her eye::

Kurama: ^^U ::nervous laugh::

Oni: "Okay...Hiei, your turn to answer a question."

Hiei: "Hn. Bakas insulting us? I would gladly help you destroy them all. Nobody insults Hiei
Jaganshi!"

Kade: "That's right Hiei, you tell 'em!" ::thinks about how hot Hiei is, then mentally slaps herself and thinks about how hot Yami is::

Hiei: "If anyone ever did that to my Jagan, I would kill them, plain and simple. I don't need my
Jagan to do serious damage to somebody. And if anyone ever told my sister that I was her brother, I would torture them to death. It's none of their concern. If and when I want to tell her, I will."

Jesscheaux: "Whoa, he's being pretty social today! I wonder why?"

Kuwabara: "Shorty's probably all hyped up on ice cream."

Hiei: >_<# "IT'S SWEET SNOW!"

Kuwabara: "Jeez, bite my head off will ya?"

Hiei: "Hn. Ask and you shall recieve. I could make that happen..."

Jesscheaux: "Oh no you don't! You'd better keep your hands off him unless you want to find out
what a 15 carat diamond colliding with your face feels like!"

Kuwabara: ::impressed:: "Go Jessi..."

Kade: "Hey, you know what, I've seen that picture of Hiei laughing before...it was with Youko
Kurama...and it was SO kawaii! Hiei, you should laugh more often!"

Hiei: "Hn, I don't know what you're talking about."

Kurama: "I do, because I remember it also...though I do not recall what was so funny."

Kuwabara: ::replying to the letter:: "I guess I accept your apology, even though it was pretty scary for me...but sure, I'll pet my cats for you!" ^__^

Jesscheaux: "Aww, that's so nice of you to accept the apology Kuwabara!"

Kuwabara: ::grins and hugs her:: "Thanks sweetie!"

Yusuke: O.O "I have a rabid fangirl?" ::pauses:: "That's...SO COOL!" ::laughs weirdly before
finally calming down::

All: ::give Yusuke strange looks::

Kayko: ::stands up from the audience:: "Sure, I guess I could teach you to slap like me."

Yukina: ::also stands up from the audience:: "It's nice to know that my brother is watching over
me...I just wish I knew who he was."

Yusuke: ::has accepted the fact that people he knows are going to randomly appear in the audience every time they get a question:: "Okay, great. I'll read the next letter." ::picks one from the large pile and reads it:: "This is from anime-poker-chik, and the letter is 'I have something to tell Vegeta! You may be the second most powerful guy in the universe, but I'm the second most powerful wizard in magicland! So ha! I could kick you butt anytime! And something to ask Yami Yugi: WHY are you SUCH an idealist?? It's freakin' annoying! To Hiei: I like, have these plans of world domination, and I need a little help, but everyone I ask just tells me I need to be put in the insane asylum!! Will you please help me? I'll buy you a new sword and all the sweet snow you want! I really need you man! To Kuwabara...well...all in all you just make me sick, but I'll admit, you CAN be pretty funny sometimes!'" ::gets a hurt look:: "What, no question for me?" ::pouts::

Hiei: "Hn. Why is that fool of a saiyan always getting questions when he shouldn't even be here?"

Vegeta: ::stands up in the audience, mad as hell with the veins popping out on his forehead::
"WHAT WAS THAT, YOU LITTLE PIP-SQUEAK?! I SHOULD FINAL FLASH YOU TO HFIL FOR THAT IDIOTIC COMMENT! MESSING WITH A SUPER SAIYAN--THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS--WOULD BE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE YOU EVER MAKE, YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A DEMON! As for that question, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT? THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS MAGICLAND AND NOBODY CAN BEAT THE GREAT PRINCE VEGETA!"

Yusuke: ::cough:: "Except Goku..." ::cough::

Vegeta: ::becomes ten times angrier:: "WHAT?!! YOU FOOLISH NINGEN!! HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY!!" ::sends a barrage of blue ki blasts at Yusuke::

Yusuke: O.O "AHHHHHH!" ::jumps out of the chair and runs for his life as Vegeta begins to chase
him down::

Juu-Kun: "A little death and destruction was just what this show needed..."

Bulma: ::appears in the audience somehow and screams:: "VEGETA!!!"

Vegeta: ::freezes in mid-chase and cringes at the sound of his wife's voice:: "NOT NOW, WOMAN!
CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY?!"

Bulma: ::marches down the aisle and grabs Vegeta by the ear again:: "YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF
EXPLAINING TO DO, VEGETA! I SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU TO PICK UP YOUR SON AFTER SCHOOL AND NOW I FIND YOU HERE OF ALL PLACES! OF ALL THE NERVE!!" ::turns around and begins pulling a protesting Vegeta up the aisle and towards the exit:: "Poor Trunks had been waiting for an hour by the time I went to get him, it's a good thing I thought to go check on him!"

Vegeta: "The brat is a saiyan, he's fully capable of taking care of himself!"

Bulma: "THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" ::drags Vegeta out of the building while continuing to chew him out::

All: O.O

::A short silence passes before the cast gets back to answering questions::

Kurama: "Yami, I believe it was your turn to answer a question."

Yami: "Why am I such an idealist? Well, I see nothing wrong with striving for perfection."

Yusuke: ::scoffs:: "You Aztec people are so weird!"

Yami: ::sweatdrop:: "I'm Egyptian..."

Rose: "Gee Yusuke, you seem to be extra-stupid today."

Yusuke: "Shut up, I am not!"

Rose: ::sticks out her tongue at him::

Hiei: ::answering his question:: "Hn, you probably do need to be put into an insane asylum...but I'll help you out for the Sweet Snow and a new sword...you'd just better make sure you pay up when the time comes."

Kuwabara: ::sighs:: "Yeah, I'm used to hearing stuff like that now...but I'm glad you think I'm funny sometimes."

Rose: "Yay. I'll read the next letter!" ::takes another one from the pile:: "This one is from
Tessajalynn Cilory, and she writes 'Hiei: In case you don't read your damn answer on the web site...I am an elf not a god damn ningen like the baka. Yusuke: *sighs* I pity you so much...but I still luv ya! Kuwabara: Will you just die already? Kade: Will you pwease give Yusuke my bio? I don't wanna see him making puppy dog faces. Kurama: I have no idea what movie she wants to see...and did you know...that I think you are incredibly lucky as she tells me...winter is a fox's mating season...and I don't think it is going to be happening when you go on you date with her... Oni: I believe ya, really I do. Rose: pictures are blackmail material...hehehehe. *jumps up and down* Yay I have a date! Sano: Even if you aren't there...I hope you are...nothing expensive will go into this...I don't have much money...just hamburger and fries...let me know when! Love ya all (except the baka) Oh and Jessi: Congrats on your ring...not on the baka your marrying...but on the ring...'"

Hiei: "Hn, baka elf. Of course I read your answer, it's my job." ::doesn't look very happy about it:: "I guess being an elf is better than being a ningen. Anything is better than being a ningen." ::scowls::

Kuwabara: "Jeez, it's not THAT bad Hiei..."

Hiei: "Hn."

Yusuke: "Why does everyone feel bad for me? Anyway, thanks!"

Kuwabara: ::shakes his head:: "Sorry, I can't just die because somebody wants me to. Especially
before I get married..."

Kade: ::thinks:: "Hmm, should I give Yusuke the bio?"

Yusuke: ::tugs on her sleeve:: "C'mon Kade, just give it to me already!"

Kade: ::smirks:: "Fine. You can have it as soon as the show is over."

Yusuke: "Aw come ON, can't you just hand it over now?"

Kade: "No...besides, it's somewhere in my backpack and I can't go looking for it right now."

Yusuke: -_- "What a lame excuse."

Kurama: "I am certain we can just choose a movie when we arrive at the theater, if she cannot
decide before then, it matters not." ^_^

Oni: ::in response to the letter:: "You really do? Good." ::peace sign::

Rose: ::pats her new digital camera:: "Yup, it's definitely blackmail material..." ::cackles evilly::

Yusuke: O.O ::shakes his head:: "Where did you get the money for that anyway?"

Rose: ::looks at him and smirks:: "Your room." XP

Yusuke: "WHAT!?" >_<# "You're gonna pay for that!"

Rose: ::laughs:: "It looks to me like you already did!"

Yusuke: -__-

Sano: ::stands up from the audience:: "That's okay, missy, a freebie is a freebie after all. Long as I don't have to pay." ::sweatdrop:: "My tab's big enough already..." ::sits back down::

Jesscheaux: ::looks at her engagement ring:: "Uh...thanks, I think. But Kuwabara is NOT a baka!
He's really a good guy, such a sweetie, and I love him. If people would just give him a chance..."

Kade: ::nods:: "Exactly. No offense Kuwabara, but I used to hate you too...then you kinda grew on me. You're pretty cool, and I don't mind saying so. You know, I almost cried the last time I watched that episode where you went to Yusuke's funeral...it was just so sad!"

Kuwabara: ::rubs the back of his neck, a little embarrassed:: "Heh...yeah, that wasn't exactly my best day..."

Yusuke: "Yeah, Kuwabara, you were crying like a baby!" ::laughs::

Rose: ::absentmindedly chucks a juggling ball at her brother's head:: "Shaddup."

Yusuke: @__@ ::stares at Kuwabara:: "Hey...I didn't know you had a twin, Kuwabara..." ::passes
out::

Kurama: "I have not read a letter in quite a while...anyone mind if I take the next one?"

All: ::shake their heads::

Kurama: ^_^ "Alright then." ::selects another letter from the pile:: "This one is from Kittengrl39, and she has a question for Yami: 'How did you survive all those years in the Millennium Puzzle without going out of your mind with boredom?'"

Yami: "Well, it really wasn't easy..."

Kade: "Oh man, I would've driven myself insane...no TV...no Playstation2...no music...no
internet...no--" ::gulp:: "--anime..." ::shudders:: "That's pure torture. It's worse than death, I tell you!"

Yusuke: ::suddenly gets up off the floor and leaves::

Jesscheaux: ::watches him go:: "Where's he off to?"

Rose: ::shrugs:: "Who knows? Let's read the next letter!"

Kuwabara: "I'll do it." ::picks out a new letter and opens it up:: "This is from Sailor Dark, who writes 'I have questions! Yusuke: Do you know that you are dumb, perverted, and so uncool?
*throws a rock at Yusuke* Kuwabara: No wonder you are so unpopular because you need a facial
because you have wrinkles for a teenager. I bet that ring you got for Jessi is made of plastic or you stole kid's money to get it I'm gonna terrorize your wedding too. *throws a mallet at Kuwabara* Kurama: I love you! Why did Suki have to take you? I'm your #1 fan not her! I shall get you no matter what! Hiei: I took your secret stock of sweet snow, it was good. Will you go out with my best friend? Vegeta: Technically you could beat Hiei easily because you have your Super Saiyan form. Do you know that you and Hiei look alike enough to be twins because you are both short (Hiei is shorter though) and your hair sticks up the same way!'"

Everyone: ::looks around for Yusuke::

Rose: "He's still not back yet...but trust me, he knows he's a stupid perverted fool of a jerk because I tell him that every day!"

Yusuke's Voice: ::from backstage:: "OUCH! Hey, how did I get hit with this rock?"

Kuwabara: ::feels his face:: "Wrinkles? I have wrinkles? How can I have wrinkles? This is terrible! ...And hey, gimme a little credit okay? I would never take money from little kids, it's against my honor code. You can bet that ring is pure diamond!"

Jesscheaux: "Oh yeah, it sure is!"

Kuwabara: ::is hit with the mallet:: "Darnit!" ::rubs the bump on his head::

Jesscheaux: ::shakes her left fist:: "QUIT BEING CRUEL TO MY KUWA-KUN! He doesn't
deserve it! Be mean to somebody who does, like Hiei!"

Hiei: "Hn!" ::crosses his arms::

Kurama: "Eh...well, thank you...I suppose. You will 'get me' no matter what?" ::nervous laugh:: "I do not quite understand the meaning of this..." ::understands the meaning of it perfectly well, and is a terrible liar::

Hiei: ::gets mad:: "So it was YOU who took my sugary goodness away? Hn, I should kill you for
that! I expect you'll replace every gallon you took, and I MIGHT consider a--" ::twitch::
"--'date'...with your friend."

Kade: ::raises eyebrow:: "Really, Hiei? Wow, you're pretty social today aren't you?"

Hiei: "Hn, don't read too much into it. I'm just doing it to earn money for Sweet Snow."

Jesscheaux: ::sweatdrop:: "But...we don't get paid, Hiei."

Hiei: O.O "We don't? THEN WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE!!?"

Suki: ::rolls her eyes:: "Apparently having a cow..." ::hands him a bowl of Sweet Snow she got out of nowhere:: "Here, go crazy."

Hiei: =D ::grabs the bowl and sticks his whole face into it::

All: O.OU

Vegeta: ::stands up from in the audience:: "Of course I could beat that foolish demon, I could do it with both hands tied behind my back! That puny pip-squeak would never stand a chance against the great Prince Vegeta! HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA--"

Bulma: ::stands up beside him:: "VEGETA! What are you doing here after I dragged you home and
specifically told you to wash the car?"

Vegeta: "WOMAN! I finished washing the car already! Now QUIT STALKING ME!!"

Bulma: >_<# "THAT'S IT VEGETA, I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO, YOU ARE GOING TO MARCH YOUR REAR END STRAIGHT HOME THIS INSTANT AND FIND YOURSELF A JOB BECAUSE I AM SICK AND TIRED OF DOING ALL THE WORK AROUND HERE! I COOK, I CLEAN, I DO ALL THE LAUNDRY, I
RUN ALL THE ERRANDS, I RAISE OUR SON AND I PAY ALL THE BILLS! WHAT DO YOU DO? YOU TRAIN AND EAT!"

Vegeta: ::covering his ears:: "WILL YOU SHUT UP WOMAN, YOU'RE GIVING ME A MIGRAINE!"

Bulma: ::once again she grabs Vegeta by the ear and pulls him out of the studio, lecturing him the entire way out::

Rose: "Um..."

Suki: "That was interesting."

Kurama: "Hiei, would you like to read the next letter?"

Hiei: "Hn, no."

Kurama: "Go ahead, Hiei."

Hiei: "I said no, kitsune."

Kurama: "Why not?"

Hiei: "..."

Kurama: "Hiei..."

Hiei: "No...besides, Juu-Kun wants to do it."

Juu-Kun: ::scowls:: "No I don't!"

Hiei: ::glares:: "Yes you do."

Juu-Kun: "I really don't."

Hiei: "You told me you did."

Juu-Kun: "I don't ever remember saying anything like that."

Hiei: "I do."

Juu-Kun: "You're just trying to get out of doing it."

Hiei: "Damn straight, now tell Kurama how much you're looking forward to reading a fan letter."

Juu-Kun: "No, because I'm not."

Hiei: -__- ::doesn't want to read::

Juu-Kun: -__- ::doesn't want to read either::

Kurama: "Somebody has to do it..."

Hiei & Juu-Kun: "Not me."

Rose: ::sighs:: "I will." ::picks out another letter:: "This is from inu.-sess.fan, who writes 'Hey, to Hiei: If it isn't too much to ask can you train me to fight? I want to rule the world with you. At first glance I look harmless cause I'm half-fox but I'm also half-lightning-tiger I really could come in handy. My eyes are a sky blue and I have extendable claws. My ears are human-like but pointy. My tail is silver with black stripes. I wear nothing but black or green or red (blood color) I have plenty of weapons 4 your friend so how about it? Kurama: I'm a fan of yours but not a big one. Yusuke: I think you're sweet. Kuwabara: I think you're sweet too, so how's the kitten? And I'm not a fan of yours but I felt sorry that no one compliments you so I did. Hope you feel better. Thanks ja-ne. P.S. Hiei: I have a backyard of Sweet Snow waiting when or if you come over.'"

Hiei: "Hn. Fine, I'll train you. But prepare yourself, because I won't go easy on you."

Juu-Kun: "And make sure you bring the weapons."

Hiei: "Yes, and I'll be looking for the Sweet Snow when I arrive."

Kurama: ::in reply to the letter:: "...Oh, well thank you."

Rose: "You think Yusuke is sweet? ...Most people seem to think the exact opposite..."

Yusuke: ::from backstage:: "I HEARD THAT!"

Jesscheaux: "Hey, what are you doing back there?"

Yusuke: "...NOTHING!"

Rose: "He's so weird..."

Kuwabara: "You really think I'm sweet? Thank you! And my kittens are both doing great! They get
along so good, and Little Jessi is adjusting to her new home really well. Eikichi is so happy to have a playmate when I'm gone!" ^__^

Jesscheaux: "Yeah, they're really cute together!"

Kade: ::sigh:: "I love kittens! They're just so kawaii and tiny! I had a kitten...but then he grew into a cat...but he still acts like a kitten. His name is Lucky!"

Suki: ::teasing:: "Oh, how original."

Kade: "No, but there's a reason his name is Lucky, it's cuz he's lucky to be alive. He was born in a barn, and he got stuck in that manure-mobile, you know the conveyer belt thing that cows "plop" in and it carries it outside (you city kids probably don't know what that is) anyway, he got stuck in there and he would've got dumped outside and buried in all the manure but he was rescued just in time. So the lady who saved him named him Lucky."

Kuwabara: "That's a great story! It's a good thing he was saved..."

Kade: "Yeah! But all you guys watching this right now are probably bored, huh?"

Audience: ::asleep::

Kade: "Thought so. Now where is Urameshi anyway?"

***BACKSTAGE***

Yusuke: ::searching through Kade's backpack for Tessajalyn's biography that Kade refused to give
him until the end of the show because she's so mean:: "Where is it? WHERE?!" ::finds the voodoo
dolls of Kade and Yami:: "What are these, anyway?" ::discovers that the dolls have magnetized lips, and an evil smirk forms on his face...::

***BACK ON STAGE***

Jesscheaux: ::reading the last fan letter:: "This is from A.S. 'To Kurama: Thank you so much for
helping me with my garden. It looks great! Well, I have a question. What kind of fox are you?
::Sweatdrops:: A red fox, an arctic fox, a swift fox? Which? Oh yes, can I buy some tickets to Hiei's and your show? I really wanna come watch it! To Hiei: ::Eyes get all watery:: Kuwabara hurt me! He punched me on the head, Hiei-chan! All I did was call him Kuwabaka by accident, than he called me a shorty and hit me on the head! He was MEAN to me, bro'! He was MEAN! I got a bump on my head now! Well, Hiei-chan, I was wondering if you could train me... You're so awesome at
battling and stuff! I want to be good at battling too! Maybe you could teach me how to do the
Dragon of the Darkness Flame? Your sis would appreciate it! Well...I got you a Christmas gift but it's kinda late... Sorry... I sent a hundred cartons of sweet snow to the Hiei and Kurama Show set! ^^ Hope you like it! To Kuwabara: That was MEAN! And I am not short! I'm almost as tall as you! ::Sticks out tongue at Kuwabara:: To Kade: This. Is. One. Of. My. Fave. Stories. On. Fanfiction.Net. This is such a good story! You're a really good author! Please Write at least three seasons cuz the Hiei and Kurama Show ROCKS!'"

Kurama: "You are quite welcome, I rather enjoyed gardening with you. I am a fox spirit, if that
answers your question. If it does not, then I do not really know. And of course, I can get you a ticket absolutely free."

Hiei: ::glares at Kuwabara:: "You did WHAT?"

Kuwabara: ::holds up his hands:: "I swear I didn't do it, Shorty--" ::covers his mouth:: "--I mean Hiei...but I really didn't do that."

Jesscheaux: "He couldn't have! He was with me the whole time!"

Kuwabara: "Yeah, and besides, I don't hit girls!"

Hiei: "Hn. I don't believe you. After the show, we'll see about your punishment." ::replies to the question:: "I will train you, A.S. Hn, I haven't checked my mail yet so maybe the Sweet Snow has arrived by now..." ::drools slightly::

Kuwabara: ::pouts:: "I swear it wasn't me! If it was then I'm so sorry, but how could I have done that? I don't even remember it."

Kade: ::grins:: "Hey, thanks a lot A.S.! I really appreciate the compliment...(Heh, I love it when people ask me stuff!) And yeah, I'm planning on writing at least three seasons so you can definitely count on that." ::suddenly, without warning she flies out of her chair, being pulled by an unseen force towards an unsuspecting Pharaoh::

Yami: "What the...?" ::suddenly flies out of his seat as well and hurtles towards Kade at an
incredible speed:: O.O

Kade: O.O "AHHHHH!"

Kade & Yami: ::as they crash into each other, their heads are pushed together by the unseen force and their lips meet::

All: O.O

Kade: ::falls onto the floor after about thirty seconds:: @_____@

Yami: ::also falls onto the floor, but stands up quickly:: "What in the world was that?"

Kade: ::has a dazed, far-away look in her eyes:: "...Dunno, but it was sooooooo coooooooool..."
::laughs::

Jesscheaux, Rose, Suki & Oni: ::laugh::

Kade: ::finally manages to stand up:: "I have an idea who might be behind that..." ::walks backstage, stumbling a little:: "Oh YOOOOOO--SKAAAYYYYY"

Yusuke's Voice: "What, I didn't do anything! I swear!"

Kade's Voice: "I didn't say you did...hey, that's my backpack!"

::WHAM!::

Yusuke's Voice: "That hurt!"

Kade's Voice: "Quit goin' through my stuff! Are you sure you didn't do anything? Fine, here's
Tessajalynn's bio. Now stay outta my stuff!"

Yusuke: ::walks back on stage victoriously:: "I GOT THE BIO, YEAH!"

Kade: ::walks back on stage after Yusuke:: "There, now I don't wanna hear any more whining from
you, Urameshi!"

Oni: "Hey guys, I think we're almost outta--"

Buzzer: "BZZZZZZ!" ::signals the end of the show::

Oni: "--time. Yes! I called that!" ^_^

Suki: "Oh yeah." ::high fives Oni::

Rose: ::looks at camera:: "Well I hope all you fans out there enjoyed another action-packed episode of The Hiei & Kurama Show!"

Yusuke: ::pops up behind her and waves::

Rose: ::pushes him out of the way:: "Tune in next time for another exciting episode, peoples!" ^__^ ::does a series of cartwheels and back flips off the stage as the camera shuts off and everyone waves goodbye::
______________________________________________________________________

Yami: ::watches replay:: "I still don't understand, what made us fly out of our chairs like
that?"::confused::

Kade: ::goes up to Yusuke and hugs him:: "Thanks Urameshi, I know what you did and it was really
cool."

Yusuke: ::confused:: "You're not mad?"

Kade: "Heck no!" ^_____^ "I GOT TO KISS YAMI!" ::grins and touches the gold necklace she's
wearing:: "Now all I gotta do is figure out who sent me this..."

Yami: ::turns around from the camera, smirking:: "You still haven't figured out that it was me?"

Kade: O.O "It was you? For real? For really real? OhmifreakinGod...how...why would you do
that?"

Yami: ::gets all mysterious:: "You'll see in time..."

Yusuke: ::shakes his head:: "Like I said before, you Romans are really weird."

Yami: -_- "Yusuke, I'm Egyptian."

Kade: ::slaps her forehead:: "Neter-nefer...tew hem wexa!"

Yusuke: O.O "Say what?"

Kade: ::smirks at him and winks at Yami::

Yami: "She just called you an ignorant fool, Yusuke." ::turns to Kade:: "I had no idea you spoke
Egyptian."

Kade: ::shrugs:: "I know a little, enough to make a couple sentences. Hey, wanna go for a ride on my new pony?"

Yami: ::watches as she walks off and comes back holding a pretty pony by the reins:: "Alright."

Kade: ^__^ "Cool!" ::gets on the pony after Yami, and holds on tight ;):: "This'll be fun!"

Yusuke: "No fair, I want a pony too!" ::pouts::

Suki: ::rolls her eyes:: "You're such a baby, Yusuke."

Rose: ::nods:: "Yeah, he is."

Kade & Yami: ::ride off on Kade's new pony, a present from Shekahla (who sold all of Malik's
jewelry to get the money for it):: "Bye everyone!"

Kuwabara: ::holding a mirror and checking his face for wrinkles:: "I don't look that old, do I?"

Jesscheaux: ::takes the mirror away:: "Of course not, and stop looking at yourself like that. You're starting to remind me of Kurama." ::laughs::

Kurama: ::smiles, knowing she's kidding:: "I do resent that, you know."

Kuwabara: ::sighs and goes off to the store to buy some moisturizer for his face::

Jesscheaux: "Hey!" ::follows him:: "Kuwabara, sweetie, you do NOT have wrinkles!"

Oni: ::turns to Kurama:: "Hey bro, since our guest of honor just left on a pony does that mean I can announce the next guest for the show?"

Kurama: "I suppose so, go right ahead Oni."

Oni: ^__^ "Awesome! Okay people, listen up! The next guest for The Hiei & Kurama Show will be
Goku from Dragonball Z, so make sure you all tune in next time to catch that exciting episode!
Until next time, this is Oni saying 'bye!' and Kurama wears a locket that has a little bit of shampoo inside it around his neck in case of an emergency!"

Kurama: ::blushes:: "Oni!"

::camera fades out just as Kurama begins to chase his sister::

The Hiei & Kurama Show

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 00:09:01 GMT

~The Hiei & Kurama Show Christmas Special Spectacular~
--Main Cast:
Hiei
Kurama
Yusuke
Kuwabara
*Jesscheaux
*Oni
*Suki
*Juu-Kun
*Rose
and sometimes Kade

*other authors

_________________________________________________________________________

::The entire stage is decked out in red, green, gold and silver decorations. On one end sits a very large Christmas tree covered in lights and sparkly things, with many presents stacked underneath it. The same crimson-colored chairs were lined up in a row with the mahogany table in front, and the large television screen was mounted on the wall (though nobody ever seemed to be using it). The cast members were seated in the chairs, each one dressed in red and green (though very tastefully--nothing tacky here!). Even Hiei was wearing a red headband and a hunter-green tank top, though he still stubbornly kept the baggy black pants he always wore. But there seemed to be one cast member missing...::

Audience: ::claps and cheers loudly as the camera focuses in on the group::

Kurama: ^__^ "Hello everyone, and welcome to our Christmas Special Spectacular!"

Suki: "Oh man...who came up with that lame title?"

Kurama: "I believe it was Kade."

Kade: ::runs out onto stage wearing a big grin, showing off the green streaks she had put in her hair for the occasion:: "Hi guys! I couldn't miss the Christmas Special Spectacular! This is going to be a great episode!"

Rose: ::nods, causing the small blue creature sitting on her head to bob up and down:: "Yup, it sure is!"

Puu: "Puuuu puuu!"

Rose: "Hey, yeah! Where IS my fool of a brother anyway?"

Kade: ::stifles laughter:: "He's having...um...difficulties."

Oni: "What kind of difficulties are we talking about?"

Kade: "Oh, you'll see..." ::turns to face the backstage area:: "Come on out, Urameshi!"

Yusuke's Voice: "NO FREAKIN' WAY!"

Jesscheaux: "Why not? What's the matter?"

Kade: ::smirks:: "He's just being shy! I had him dress up in the CUUUUTEST outfit!"

Rose: "Ooh, now I GOTTA see this! Come on out, bro!"

Yusuke: "Are you people deaf? I said NO! N-O! NO!"

Suki: "What's the matter, are you scared?"

Kuwabara: Yeah, Urameshi, quit being such a baby and get out here!"

Yusuke's Voice: "It's too embarrassing! I'm not coming out, so you can just forget it!"

Rose: ::throws a juggling ball backstage::

::CLONK!::

Yusuke: ::swears and moans in pain::

Rose: ::grins:: "Direct hit!"

Kurama: "Come on out, Yusuke, we will not laugh at you."

Jesscheaux: "Speak for yourself, Kurama!"

Kade: "Oh, that's it." ::marches backstage and grabs the stubborn Spirit Detective by the hand::
"Come ON!" ::drags him out onto the stage and everyone can now see that Yusuke is dressed in a
Santa suit--white beard, hat, glasses and all::

Audience: ::starts laughing::

Yusuke: "Ohhhh MAN! This is almost as bad as Teapot-Freakboy..." [AN: *wink wink*]

Kade: ::pushes him into one of the chairs:: "Have a seat, Saint Nick."

Rose: ::grinning wickedly, she runs up and jumps into her brother's lap:: "Why hello there, Santa! I've been real good this year, and I made a list of all the things I want for Christmas!"

Yusuke: -__- "That's nice to know, little girl, but all you're getting this year is a big fat honking lump of COAL!"

Rose: ::smacks him upside the head:: "What a mean Santa!"

Jesscheaux: "Yeah, Santa's supposed to be jolly and nice...you know, the exact opposite of Hiei."

Hiei: "Hn." ::glares::

Kuwabara: "Yeah Urameshi, you really have to work on your acting. Where's the hearty 'ho-ho-ho'?"

Jesscheaux: "Right! You have to BE Santa, Yusuke. You ARE Santa!" ::laughs::

Yusuke: "Go ahead, laugh it up. That's right, it's just SO funny, isn't it? Well you're all dead after this show is over!"

Rose: "No, you love us! You know you do..."

Yusuke: ::grumbles::

Oni: ::looks around:: "You know what, I think this place is missing something..." ::gets up and runs backstage to retrieve something::

Kurama: "Oh dear...I certainly hope she isn't going to bring out any more Sake..."

Kuwabara: ::smiles, remembering the previous episode:: "Yeah, you wouldn't want to get drunk two shows in a row, would you?"

Jesscheaux: ::tries to hold in her laughter, but fails:: "Bwahahaha! We have plenty of photographs to remember it by!"

Rose: ::pats her new digital camera:: "Yup!"

Kade: ::laughs:: "Poor guys, they just can't catch a break with all these women around! By the way, did you people check out the Christmas tree yet? The producer bought us all presents! Isn't that really nice of him? ...Or her...come to think of it, I don't think I've ever actually MET the producer..."

All: O.O

Kurama: "How is that possible?"

Kade: ::shrugs:: "Dunno. But whoever he is, he got us all a present! What a nice thing to do!"

Jesscheaux: "Yeah!"

Suki: ::rubs her hands together:: "Oh yeah, presents!"

Hiei: ::scowls:: "Hn. Pointless holiday..."

Yusuke: "Hey Hiei, don't you and Juu-Kun have ningens to annihilate?"

Kuwabara: "You'd think they'd be all out of stuff to destroy by now..."

Suki: "Yeah, what's up with that?"

Hiei: "Hn."

Juu-Kun: "As much as we keep slaying them, those bakas just keep coming back." ::grins
sadistically:: "But that only means even more killing for us."

Kuwabara: O.O "Man, you're pretty creepy, you know that?"

Juu-Kun: ::stares at him, wondering what kinds of evil things he should do to him::

Jesscheaux: ::holds up the fist that has the 15 carat diamond ring on the finger:: "Don't you dare, you jerk! You leave my fiance alone! And just so you know, I'm going to get you for what you did to my sweetie on the last show!"

Juu-Kun: ::smirks and doesn't answer::

Kade: "Come on everyone, it's Christmas! We're all supposed to be happy and cheerful, and love
each other! ...Oh man, that sounded mega corny."

Oni: ::runs back out to the stage waving a familiar-looking plant with red berries and green leaves:: "I found it!" ::hangs it up on the wall beside the Christmas tree::

Yusuke: O.O "You're kidding me. Mistletoe?"

Kade: "Good thinking, Oni! That's exactly what this place needed. It'll come in handy for later on..." ::grins wickedly::

Guys: O.O

Kurama: "I do not like that look she is giving us..."

Yusuke: ::shudders:: "Me neither..."

Rose: ::stands up with her camera:: "I'm gonna go take a break for a while."

Kade: "Where ya going?"

Rose: "Oh nowhere special, really." ::hides a smile::

Jesscheaux: "Are you alright?"

Rose: ^_^ "Sure. I'll be back soon!" ::skips off stage and backflips out of sight::

Kuwabara: "You sure got one hyper sister, Yusuke."

Yusuke: -__- "I know. She's a never-ending ball of energy."

Oni: "Yeah, she is...I like her!"

Yusuke: ::mumbling:: "You would..."

Oni: "What was that, Santa-boy?"

Yusuke: "Oh, nothing. Nothing at all."

Suki: "I think it's time to introduce the Special Guests, you guys."

Kade: "Right. Well, introduce them Suki!"

Suki: "Alright, sure. Today's Special Guests are none other than Kenshin and Sanosuke from Rurouni Kenshin! C'mon out, guys."

::Theme music plays while Sanosuke and Kenshin come strolling out to the stage. Kenshin is still
carrying his sword and wearing his trademark pink shirt, while Sano's shirt still has the symbol for "bad" on the back of it. They casually wave to the crowd and take their seats::

Kenshin: ^^ "Good afternoon, everyone."

Sano: "Yeah, what he said."

Kenshin: "It's great to be on such a fine show, that it is."

Kurama: "Why thank you, Kenshin. That is quite kind of you."

Kenshin: "You're very welcome, Kurama. I've heard good things about you, that I have." ^^

Kurama: "And I of you, of course."

Suki: "Gah! They're so...polite!"

Kade: ::twitches:: "Can't...take...it..." ::laughs:: "I'm kidding. What's up, Sano, how ya been?"

Sano: "Not too bad. Had a good fight here and there, so it's been alright."

Jesscheaux: "Paid your tab yet?"

Sano: O.O;;

Kade: "I'm betting we can take that as a big fat 'no', huh?"

Jesscheaux: ::laughs::

Kuwabara: "Is it time for the fanmail yet?"

Kurama: ::checks his watch:: "Yes, I do believe it is. Would you care to go get the cart, Kuwabara?"

Kuwabara: "Sure!" ::runs to get the mail cart, which was over-flowing as usual:: "Hey Kenshin, you wanna read the first one?"

Kenshin: "I'd be honored, that I would." ::chooses a letter from the cart and opens it:: "This is from Diana, that is it, and she has quite a few questions!"

Kade: "Whoo-hoo! I like her already! Read the questions, Kenny-boy!"

Kenshin: ^^ "Alright. 'Yusuke: You have fans!! I have two friends who drool over you in their sleep but they won't admit that they like you.
--Kuwabara: You have fans too! There aren't as many as Hiei or K'rama, but there are fans out
there!!
--K'rama: You're just cool. As to that woodchuck question thingy, there is an answer. The question is: "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" and the answer is: "As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood!" My bff Anna taught me that, and she's a fangirl of yours ^^; Oh ya and we're BOTH glad ur not gay! ^^
--Hiei: I think you need to meet my friend Iris, aka Kamu-chan. She's an S.I.T. (Samurai In
Training) and also an A.I.T. (Assassin in training). I think she'd make a better assassin than a
samurai. But anyways, you and her could go on a killing spree of all ningens! That would be cool, huh? She has quite a bit of knowledge on forms of torture, as I've recently found out... ^^; She might glomp you once or twice before hand, tho.
--Koenma: Is there something between you and Botan or what? How long have you guys known each other? I think it's around seven centuries, but I'm not sure. Don't remember.
--Jin: My friend Motoko has a MAJOR crush on you and your accent! Even I think it's cute, though
I'm not a fangirl of yours, no offense. I like Youko! ^^ I think it's the fangs that I'm attracted to... ^^ *drooooooool* Oh ya, can u teach me some drinking songs!? They sound like fun to scare my friends with!! ^^
--Vegeta, get ur own show. Loser. Hiei is SO better than you. Egomaniac.
--Yukina seems so sweet and nice! Don't diss her on the show, she just happens to have grown up on a place where only females live (or that's what Ami tells me about Koorimes... that's why Hiei got thrown off the side like trash. Poor Hiei.) and so she doesn't know what love is 'cause she's not lezzy. Ew, that would be WAY gross.
--Oni, I need more secret information on K'rama! Do you have your own "Kurama's Secrets
Revealed" website or something I can visit!? Anna and Caiti want to know about this too! But...
don't go TOO far with it. I don't wanna embarrass poor K'rama! :( *gives Kurama a painkiller for
his hangover* Poor K'rama...
--Kade: You're doing SUCH a great job writing this. I cannot hold my sides together I'm laughing so hard! Keep up the good work! ^^
--Kayko: You need to stop slapping Yusuke. Just 'cause he's a punk doesn't mean you have to be
mean! No offense, Yusuke... Uhm, ya. Just admit that you like him damnit. Ya did kiss 'im an' all.
--Juu-kun: WOO-HOO!! FIRE!! You shoud meet Motoko... she's a witch. In real life, I mean. Y'know, being Pagan and whatnot. She made me a bonfire on our first sleep over! ^^.' ...Whew, I'm out of breath that I am.'"

All: O.O

Jesscheaux: "That's a LOT of questions!"

Kade: ^__^ "YAY! You rock, Diana!"

Yusuke: -__- "You're only happy because you don't have to answer all of them..."

Kurama: "Well, we'd better get to answering them all... Yusuke, I believe the first question was for you."

Yusuke: "I have fans, yeah! This is great! I KNEW I was cool, and of course girls drool over me...I mean, just look at me!" ::grins::

Kuwabara: "Somebody's full of himself today..." ::shakes his head:: "Anyway, it's great to know that I have fans, too! Sometimes I wonder if I have any...but my Jessi is always there to cheer me up!" ::gazes lovingly at Jesscheaux::

Jesscheaux: "Of course, Kuwa!" ::hugs him::

Kurama: "You think I am cool? Thank you very much, Diana. As for the answer to the woodchuck
question, it is quite clever indeed. And yes, I too am glad that I am not gay."

Suki: ::latches onto Kurama's arm:: "So am I!"

Kurama: ^_^; "...Hiei, it is your turn to answer the letter."

Hiei: "Hn. I'd like to meet this person. For a ningen, she sounds interesting."

Koenma: ::stands up from the audience:: "Something going on between me and Botan? N-no,
absolutely not! I-I mean, w-why would there be?" ::laughs nervously:: "S-she works for me, that's all, honest!" ::blushes faintly:: "I don't even know how long I've known her...it certainly has been a long time since she first stumbled into my office begging for a job--" ::suddenly gets whacked upside the head by a very familiar-looking oar::

Botan: "Excuse me? 'Begging for a job' huh? Well I seem to recall something a bit different,
Koenma! For one thing, I wasn't the one begging! If I remember correctly, you were extremely
short-staffed and nobody would work for you with such little pay. You were on your knees begging
me to take the job!"

Koenma: ::blushes:: "You remember all that? Eh-heh-heh...heh..."

Yusuke: "Hey, what are they doing here anyway?"

Koenma: ::looks at Yusuke:: "What, are you suggesting that the Prince of Hell doesn't have a right to be in the audience?"

Yusuke: "No, but shouldn't you be working?"

Koenma: O.O;; "SHHHH! I'm taking a break! I work hard enough, I deserve to have one every now
and then!"

Yusuke: "Whatever. The next question is for Jin...I don't suppose anyone's seen him?"

Jin: ::stands up in among the audience:: "Right here, Urameshi!" ::grins:: "To answer your question, Diana, I'd be more'n happy to teach you some drinking songs! I'd also like to meet that friend o' yours."

Yusuke: "Jeez, is EVERYBODY in the audience or what?"

Oni: "Looks like it, Yusuke."

Yusuke: "The next question was for Vegeta...let me guess, he's here too?"

Vegeta: ::stands up, angry, the veins popping out on his forehead:: "LOSER? HOW DARE YOU CALL THE GREAT PRINCE VEGETA A LOSER! YOU WOULDN'T KNOW A WINNER IF IT CAME UP AND BIT YOU IN THE REAR, WOMAN! THAT FOOLISH 'HIEI' IDIOT IS NOWHERE NEAR AS GREAT AND POWERFUL AS I AM! I COULD BEAT HIM WITH BOTH HANDS TIED BEHIND MY BACK AND WITH MY EYES CLOSED! I'M THE--" ::cough:: "--second--" ::cough:: "--MOST POWERFUL WARRIOR IN THIS WHOLE PATHETIC UNIVERSE AND YOU ACTUALLY HAVE THE NERVE TO INSULT ME!? WHY I OUGHTTA--"

Bulma: ::pops up beside him, grabs his left ear and twists it hard:: "VEGETA!! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT MAKING SCENES?!"

Vegeta: ::glares at his wife:: "I TOLD YOU TO QUIT STALKING ME WOMAN!"

Bulma: "VEGETA!!" ::pulls his ear harder:: "Quit acting like such a child and haul your butt home this instant! There is a driveway full of snow with your name on it, mister!" ::starts to drag the stubborn saiyan out the door::

Yusuke: O.O "...Guess we know who wears the pants in that relationship..."

::A Final Flash attack suddenly goes whizzing towards Yusuke, barely missing him and blowing a
large hole in the floor beside him::

Yusuke: O.O; "Meep!"

::CLICK!::

Kurama: ::waits until Bulma has taken Vegeta out of the building before clearing his throat and
continuing:: "Well...I believe the next question was for you, Oni."

Oni: ^_^ "I have plenty of dirt on my favorite big bro! Don't you worry, you'll hear about it all in due time..."

Kurama: ^_^;; "...Oni, we discussed this...you were not going to tell any more of my secrets..."

Oni: "Sure, I said that, but I also had my fingers crossed!" ;)

Kurama: O.o ::sighs:: -__- "I cannot believe I let her trick me..." ::takes the painkillers:: "Thank you very much. Lately I have had great need for these... Kade, I believe it is now your turn."

Kade: "WOOT! A question for me! ...Err, a statement for me! YAY!" ::grins:: "Thanks SO much for the compliment! I'm glad you think it's so funny, cuz I always crack up while I'm writing it
myself, so at least now I know I'm not crazy!" ;)

Hiei: "I wouldn't go that far..."

Kade: ::sticks her tongue out at Hiei before continuing:: "Anywayz, sorry 'bout the Yukina diss-age..." ::holds up right hand:: "I promise I swear I won't diss her anymore...but don't ask me to do the same for Tea, cuz I just can't do that! I hate her guts too much. And awww, I always feel sad for Hiei when I think of how he was thrown off the Koorime island like trash..." ::goes over and hugs Hiei tightly::

Hiei: O_O "That's...not necessary..."

::CLICK!::

Kade: ::lets go:: "Everyone needs a hug sometimes, Hiei."

Yusuke: ::picks up one of Rose's juggling balls and hits himself with it:: "Ow. I need a hug, Kade!"

Kade: ::sighs:: "Where's Rose when you need her? ...Where is Rose anyway? She's been gone for
quite a while."

Yusuke: "Who cares? My head's been lump-free for longer than usual today, so wherever she is, I
hope she stays there!" ::laughs::

Jesscheaux: "That's so mean, Yusuke! She's your sister!"

Yusuke: ::crosses his arms, but the huge belly of the Santa suit is in the way:: "So? She's annoying!"

Jesscheaux: ::smirks:: "You just can't admit that you love her, and you'd never forgive yourself if anything happened to her."

Yusuke: "T-that's not...I don't...so what if...LEAVE ME ALONE!"

All ('cept Yusuke): ::laugh::

Kurama: "Moving on...it is Kayko's turn to answer next."

Kayko: ::who is ALWAYS there, lurking in the audience, just waiting to lay some more slappage on
poor Yusuke:: ::stands up:: "I'd stop hitting him if he'd grow up and act his age...and stop being such a pervert! Admit that I like him? Um...well he's my friend...a good friend..." ::nervous laugh:: "I kissed him so he could come back to life...isn't that what any good friend would do?"

Kade, Jesscheaux, Suki, & Oni: "Riiiiiight." ::roll their eyes::

Kuwabara: "The last one's for Shorty Junior." ::jerks his thumb towards Juu-Kun::

Juu-Kun: ::scowls:: "Shorty Junior? Is that supposed to hurt my feelings? If you want to hurt
somebody's feelings, I'm sure all you have to do is look at them with that ugly face. That would
offend anyone. As for the question, or the statement...you can count on much more destruction and pain to come that baka's way in the future." ::smirks evilly:: "And if it weren't for that ridiculous 'no violence on the Christmas Special' rule I'd be torturing him as we speak."

Kuwabara: "Over my dead body, shrimp!"

Juu-Kun: "Actually, that's exactly what I had in mind."

Kade: "Ok, I'll read the next letter now." ::takes another letter from the cart:: "It's from Kittengrl39, who writes 'Kenshin, why don't you get a better shirt? I know that one's supposed to be red, but it's so faded it looks pink...and you and Kurama look nearly exactly the same. In one of his battles, Kurama even got a scar like yours--same place, same shape (it's true! In the battle with Roto). Sano, do you ever feel ashamed that you were beaten by Kenshin, since he's such a short guy? (Sorry, Kenshin) And why do you wear bandages around your waist?' ...Oh, I was wondering that too..." ::puts down the letter and looks at Kenshin:: "Well?"

Kenshin: ^_^ "Oro? What's the matter with my shirt?" ::shrugs and smiles::"Yes, I realize that
Kurama and I are very much alike, that we most certainly are. I suppose that is why we are such
good friends."

Sano: "Nah, I'm not really ashamed of Kenshin beating me. He's a lot shorter than me, but he is older and more experienced than I am, so it doesn't bother me much. And the bandages?" ::grins:: "Hey, they're a fashion statement! What can I say?"

Kade: O.o "Is that really why you wear those?"

Sano: "Well it's what the artist drew me in, so...yeah, I guess so."

Kade: ::laughs:: "Fair enough. Wanna read the next letter?"

Sano: "Sure, missy. I can do that." ::chooses a new letter from the pile:: "This is from Ren-Okye, and she wrote 'I have a question for the whole cast: Since it's almost Christmas now, what do guys want for Christmas? I don't care how many items and junk you guys want, I'm just curious as to what you want. Merry Christmas, dudes and dudettes!'" ::puts down the letter and looks thoughtful:: "Hm, I never thought of what I wanted for Christmas yet...probably some good 'ole Sake, that's all I need!"

Oni: "Buddy!" ::high-fives him:: "That's just what I wanted too!"

::CLICK!::

Kenshin: "I only wish for my friends' happiness, that I do...and to be with them all for Christmas."

Suki: "That's nice... What do I want for Christmas? That's easy--Kurama, duh!" ::hugs Kurama::
"And some cash would be nice, too..."

Jesscheaux: "I have all I need this Christmas!" ::looks at her fiance, then to the humongous diamond ring:: "Cha-ching, baby yeah!"

Kuwabara: ^_^; "Me too...all I need is my sweetie! ...And maybe another kitten. I think Eikichi gets lonely...I can't play with her all the time anymore."

Yusuke: "What do I want for Christmas? Hmm...a girl who doesn't slap me every five seconds,
maybe? Or a vacation from being a Spirit Detective...just for a little while, though, cuz I love all the butt-kickin' I get to do!"

Kurama: "I only wish to spend Christmas day with my family, and that is all I want. Care to
respond, Hiei?"

Hiei: "Hn. Christmas is a foolish ningen holiday that makes no sense for me to participate in."

Juu-Kun: "Yes, I agree...however, it would be nice to see the entire population of ningens destroyed overnight and to take over the world the next day."

Kade: ::gets dollar signs in her eyes:: "OOHHH, what do I want? Well, I have a pretty long list...but what I want most is a pony! Yeah! I want a pony!" ::grins:: "I would feed it and pet it and ride it and hug it and love it and name it Bob! Just kiddin', I wouldn't name it Bob...I'd name it Randy."

All: ^^U

::CLICK!::

Jesscheaux: "I'll take the next letter." ::picks yet another one from the cart:: "This is from Shekahla, and she writes 'Hey Kenshin I got one question for you! I heard a rumor awhile ago that you and Kurama are twins separated at birth. *blinks twice* Is that true? I mean how often do you see two red haired Bishies that both wear pink?'"

Kenshin: ::looks at Kurama:: "Well, we do look very much alike, that we do. While I would love for the rumor to be true, sadly it is not."

Kurama: ^_^ "Yes, he is correct. However I no longer make a habit of wearing pink since Oni informed me that in doing so, I put her to shame."

Oni: "Well those weren't my exact words...but hey, SOMEBODY had to tell him!"

Kade: "Right, now we just have to work on Kenshin..."

Kenshin: ::confused:: "I don't see what is so wrong with my shirt, that I don't."

Suki: ::shakes her head:: "Okay, the next letter's all mine." ::picks out a new letter and reads it:: "This one's from Princess Krystal01, and she writes 'Hiei, even though I love u and Kurama so much, I'm sad to tell u this, I have established an army to take over the world...guess what they are--rabid penguins...AND I SHALL DESTROY EVERYTHING IN ALL 3 WORLDS MUWAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAHA 'cough' 'cough' 'cough' if I give u 10 gallons of sweet snow, will u join my army? Kurama, would u join my army if I gave u the best shampoo ever?' ...Well, guys? Whadda ya say?"

Hiei: "Hn. You can't destroy everything in all three worlds, that's my job! ...However, if you give me the ten gallons of sweet snow--" ::drools:: "--then I just might consider allowing you to assist me."

Kade: O.O "He just turned the tables, just like that?"

Yusuke: "I hate to break it to you, but YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO THAT, HIEI! Do you know who Koenma's going to send in if the three worlds are in danger? Do you? ME, that's who! There is no frickin' way that I'm going to play cops and robbers with you when I've got better things to spend my time on!"

Suki: "Don't go throwing a tantrum, Yusuke..."

Yusuke: "I AM NOT THROWING A TANTRUM!" ::tries to cross his arms, but the big Santa belly is in the way::

::CLICK!::

Yusuke: "AND WHAT THE HECK IS WITH THAT STUPID CLICKING NOISE??!"

Kenshin: ^_^; "I can read the next letter, that I can." ::picks up another letter and reads it:: "This one is from Akumu-Seiki and she writes 'Kenshin: How come you use repetition a lot while speaking? Sanosuke: How do you get your hair to stay up? Do you use hair gel, or does it do that on its own? Just curious. Hiei: If somebody dared to poke your Jagan, how would you kill them? Would you give them a slower, more painful death than the rabid fangirls, or would you give 'em a quick and painless death? Yusuke: How is it that you're still...eh...somewhat alive after Kayko's many beatings? In short, WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD YET?! -cough- Sorry. But how do you survive? No offense to Kayko or anything. Kuwabara: If you could get another kitten, what would you name it? Kurama: Why is it that you always have roses in your hair? Do you stick them in your hair every morning?'"

Kenshin: "Well, I use repetition because that is just the way I speak, that it is. Most of the time I don't even realize when I'm doing it."

Kade: "Feh. Yeah right. I betcha anyone who's ever seen Samurai X prob'ly knows better than to
believe that..."

Kenshin: O.O "Oro?"

Kade: ::shakes head:: "Anyway Sano, it's your turn."

Sano: "My hair stands up like that naturally. I don't use any of that 'hair gel' stuff...that's for girls, missy!"

Hiei: "Nobody would ever dare to poke my Jagan, but if they ever did, they would most certainly
receive an extremely slow and incredibly painful death...much worse than the rabid fangirls."

Yusuke: "How am I still alive after all Kayko's beatings? Honestly, I don't even know. I should be dead by now, but for some reason I'm still kickin'. Must be luck." ::grins:: "Like Kurama says, I'm just a lucky fool!"

Suki: "Ya got that right."

Kuwabara: "If I got another kitten, I'd name it Jessi!" ::beams::

Jesscheaux: ^__^ "Aww, that's really sweet of you, Kuwabara!"

Kurama: "I need to have a rose with me at all times...after all, it is my weapon, and you never know when I may need to use it. Yes, you are correct, I do simply stick one in my hair every morning."

Yusuke: "I remember the first time I saw him pull a flower from his hair...man, that kinda freaked me out."

Kuwabara: "Yeah, me too. I thought he was gay at first...I still remember what I said, too!"

Jesscheaux: ::quotes him:: "'It smells girly. I don't think I like it.'" ::laughs::

Kade: "Oh yeah, that was funny! Speaking of which, I was watching the episode where Kuwabara
goes into Byakko's lair to fight him in that lava pit, and I thought of a completely random
saying...'When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. When life gives you a boiling lake of lava, you make scrambled eggs!'"

Kurama: O.O

Yusuke: O.O

Kuwabara: O.O

Kade: "If I could've been there with you guys, I would've said that!" ::grins::"

Hiei: ::cringes::

::CLICK!::

Kurama: "Let's move on to another letter, shall we?" ::chooses a new letter from the pile that never seems to get any smaller:: "This letter is from Tessajalyn Cilory, and she writes 'Hiei: Hn... Yusuke: Hello, I thought u would have realized that I was ur fan when I told u that u looked better w/out the gel...and if u ask Kade, I am sure she will give you my bio. Kuwabara: Yes u are THAT ugly. Kurama: Ok...she now wants to know what movie...oh btw...did I mention that she herself is a fox? If u want I can give u her bio... Oni: He had better not be drunk for him and my friends' date...don't mean to sound rude...and finally, Sano: I don't mean to sound like a rabid fangirl...but...would you go out with me sometime...and I shall pay the tab.'"

Hiei: "'Hn' yourself."

Yusuke: ::shrugs:: "Hey, I had to be sure you really were my fan! I don't really have as many as
Kurama and Hiei..." ::turns to Kade:: "Can I have her bio?"

Kade: "Maybe if you cooperate and ask REAL nice...I just might consider it."

Yusuke: -__- "What do I have to do?"

Kade: "...You'll see."

Kuwabara: ::sigh:: "So many fans don't like me..."

Kurama: "Well, I do not really mind which movie we see...she can choose one herself if she likes. It is very interesting to find that she is a fox as well, it will give us more to talk about."

Suki: "You're going out with another girl? But still you're going to the party with me, right?"

Kurama: "Of course. But you see, I have promised dates to so many young ladies, and I must not
break those promises to any of them."

Kade: "That's real nice of you."

Oni: "Don't worry, he isn't going to be drunk. I promise! Ok?"

Sano: "You'll pay the tab if I go out with you? Alright, I'll go out with you."

Kade: "Time for another question! Who's reading it this time? ...Hiei, why don't you go?"

Hiei: "Hn."

Kade: "C'mon Hiei, just read one!"

Hiei: "No."

Kade: "Hiiiiieeeiiiiii! Pleeeeeaaase?"

Hiei: "I don't want to."

Kade: "Oh come on! I'll give you sweet snow if you do!"

Hiei: "...Fine." ::scowls and snatches a letter from the pile: "This pathetic fan letter is from some foolish ningen named--" ::stops:: "--A.S.?" ::reads the letter, appearing to be fascinated:: "To Hiei: Hiei-chan, it's me A.S.! Remember, your half-sis? DO ya, do ya? Oh I hope you do! ^^ Guess what? I said hi to Trunks yesterday! ^^ Isn't that cool? Hiei, I think he has a crush on me! Can I go to the movies with him? Pwease? Pretty pwease? Oh, I also got some of that yummy sweet snow stuff you've been talking about...it's GOOD! Yummy! I like these things called 'cookies' though. They're great, you should try 'em, bro! Tell sis I said hi! To Kurama: I'm a fan of yours! Not a rabid fangirl though ^^; I got a question! Do you ever get bored of homework? I do all the time! Homework is SO boring... At least that's what I think. Got any advice on how I can make it interesting? Oh, and would you like to hang out and garden sometime, Kurama? I really need some tips, my gardening is getting shabby. To both Kurama and Hiei: Hiei-chan, Kurama-san, is there any advice you have for people with rabid fans? What advice would you give to someone with fans such as yours? To Kuwabara: Um...uh...Congrats on your proposal to Jess! To Yusuke: Wazzup! ^^; Okay, I wanna go bake cookies!! See you! ^^ ~A.S.'"

Kuwabara: "So is THAT who Hiei's sister is? How come you guys acted like it was some big
secret?"

Yusuke: "It isn't, really. You just never figured it out. And A.S. was never the sister the rest of us knew about...in fact, Hiei, why didn't you tell us you had another sister?"

Hiei: "Hn. Why? ...To answer her question...hn." ::scowls, thinking 'As if worrying about Yukina
wasn't enough...':: "Why should it bother me if you go to the movies with this 'Trunks' person...he had just better keep his hands to himself unless he wishes to die a very painful death. Hn, I've tried these 'cookies' before...however I think I'll stick with Sweet Snow."

Kurama: "I don't suppose anyone really enjoys doing homework, A.S. I tire of it quite often myself. To make it more interesting, I would suggest doing your homework with a friend. Also, I would be quite happy to assist you with your gardening." ^_^

Hiei: "My advice for people with rabid fans--kill them. Kill them all."

Kurama: ^_^;; "Of course, my advice differs from Hiei's... I would say do your best to deal with
them in a civil fashion. After all, they are your fans and they admire you, so in turn you should treat them with kindness."

Kenshin: "That's some great advice, that it is." ^^

Kurama: "Thank you, Kenshin."

Kuwabara: "I'm confused...who's Hiei's other sister? ...Anyway, thanks A.S.!"

Yusuke: ::sweatdrop:: "Um...hi?"

Kade: "Well, that's all the time we have today for fan mail...I've got some other things planned for today's show, so we need to make time! Right now it's time to open up some presents!"

Suki, Oni, & Jesscheaux: "Yeah!"

Kade: ::looks at Yusuke:: "Alright Santa, now it's your job to go over to the tree and get the presents for us. Ok?"

Yusuke: ::mock salutes:: "Got it." ::rolls his eyes and walks over to the Christmas tree to get a gift:: "Ho ho ho, which one should I bring over first?"

::A hand holding a small wrapped present suddenly sticks out of the tree::

Yusuke: ::takes the present:: "Thanks." ::turns to leave:: "Wait..." ::stares at the tree, confused::

Kade: "Yusuke, what are you doing?"

Yusuke: ::shakes his head:: "Slowly going insane." ::goes back over to the group:: "Here, I think it's for Kuwabara." ::hands Kuwabara the present::

Kuwabara: "Cool! Hm, it says it's from Wata--Wataku--Watakushi..." ::trails off:: "Guys, I dunno
how to pronounce this name..."

Jesscheaux: ::reads over his shoulder:: "Watakushiwaginnokitsuneaisuru." ::grins:: "Yeah, I'm that good."

Kuwabara: "Thanks sweetie!" ::unwraps the gift, and suddenly a swarm of flying armadillos come
flying out and begin to pelt him with plushies...and not just any plushies...::

Suki: ::gasp:: "Are those...T-T-Teletubbies?"

Kuwabara: ::screams:: "TELETUBBIES! NOOOOOO!"

Kade: ::clings to Hiei:: "I'm too frightened to move..."

Hiei: -__-U

Oni: ::nods:: "I know, it's pretty freaky..."

Suki & Jesscheaux: ::grab baseball bats and beat the plushies away::

::CLICK!::

Suki: ::hits one:: "Take THAT, you horrible plushie! Spawn of Satan! Epitome of evil!"

Jesscheaux: ::as she creams two plushies at the same time:: ::laughs:: "This is actually kinda fun!"

Yusuke: ::after the plushie-pelting had died down:: "Well I guess I'll be getting another present." ::goes to get another one::

::Once again the hand sticks out and hands Yusuke another present::

Yusuke: O.O "What the...? Okay, I must really be going crazy..." ::goes back and hands the present to Kurama::

Kurama: ::unwraps his present:: "Oh, a gardening kit. It is very nice." ^__^

Oni: "Go get another present, Santa!"

Yusuke: ::glances warily at the Christmas tree:: "I dunno if I want to..."

Suki: "Don't be such a baby Yusuke, just go get one!"

::CLICK!::

Yusuke: ::gulps and slowly edges over to the tree:: "Okay..." ::seeing no hand this time, Yusuke
reaches for the first present he could get his hand on, which is a large box with holes poked in it, and then he carries it back to the group:: "I think this is for Kuwabara."

Kuwabara: ::unwraps it cautiously:: "I hope it's no prank."

Inside The Box: "Mew!"

Kuwabara: "Huh? That sounds like..." ::opens the lid:: "...A kitten!" ::lifts an adorable little
long-haired tabby kitten out of the box::

Kitten: "Mew!"

Jesscheaux: "Awww, how cute!"

Kuwabara: "It's just what I wanted! ...Hey, it's wearing a collar..." ::reads the collar:: "'My name is Jessi'. Hey, they even knew what I would name her!" ::smiles and cuddles the kitten::

Jesscheaux: "She's so little, and adorable!" ::looks at Yusuke:: "Hey, me next, Santa!"

Yusuke: "Oh, alright." ::goes back to the tree and gets an armload of presents to save trips::

::The hand sticks out again and places one last present on top of the pile in Yusuke's arms::

Yusuke: O.O ::runs back over to the group and dumps the presents onto the ground:: "That's IT! I'm gonna find out what the heck is going on, who is in that stupid tree, and what the frick keeps making all those clicking noises!" ::stomps over to the tree and dives onto it::

::The tree falls over onto the floor and Rose tumbles out of the tree with her camera in hand::

Rose: "Hey, watch the camera you jerk!" ::throws a juggling ball at Yusuke::

Kade: "So THAT'S where she went!" ::laughs:: "Having fun, Rose?"

Rose: ::nods:: "Yup! Yusuke was really freaked out, and I got some great pictures!"

Jesscheaux: "So that's what all those clicking noises were! I was wondering about that."

Rose: ::grins and walks over to the others:: "If you don't mind, I think I'll re-join you all now."

Yusuke: "I mind." ::is hit with another juggling ball::

Kade: "So anywayz, Jesscheaux was just about to open up her presents!"

Jesscheaux: "Yeah! I have two of 'em. One is from you, Kuwabara!" ::opens the one from
Kuwabara, which contains a diamond-studded bracelet with her name engraved on it:: "Wow Kazuma...it's pretty!"

Kuwabara: "I was hoping you would like it...it took forever to save up my allowance so I could get it for you."

Jesscheaux: ::hugs him and kisses him on the cheek:: "Thank you, sweetie!" ::opens the other one:: "Hey, nice! A check for two hundred dollars!"

Kurama: "Who's turn is it now?"

Kade: "Ooh, me! My turn! I got two!" ::rips open the first one:: "Booya! A check for two hundred
smackers! That producer is a pretty generous person!" ::tears open the next present and gasps::
"OMG! Who is this from?" ::lifts a solid-gold necklace from the little box:: "This must've cost like, a FORTUNE!"

Jesscheaux: "DUDE, yeah! There's no name on it?"

Kade: ::shakes head:: "Nope. Do you guys have any idea who it could be from?"

Yusuke: "No, sorry."

All: ::shake their heads:: "No."

Kade: "How strange." ::shrugs and puts the gold chain on:: "Hope I don't get shot for this thing...I bet it's worth thousands."

Yusuke: "Oh well, my turn!" ::unwraps his present and finds a check for two hundred dollars::
"Awesome."

Kenshin: ::opens up his present:: "A sweater...how lovely." ^^U

Sano: ::opens his own present:: "...Um...a sweater that matches Kenshin's? Well thanks...I think."

Oni: "Well it's the thought that counts, right? Hey, I have two presents also!" ::opens up the first one:: "A check for two hundred bucks! Cool! ...And the other one's from Heero!" ::opens the second one:: "Whoa, he gave me diamond earrings!" ::grins:: "A bottle of Sake, too! Alright! I love you Heero!"

Suki: "Nice. Hey, I also got a check for two hundred bucks! What about you guys?" ::looks at Hiei and Juu-Kun::

Hiei: "Hn. I don't need this ningen money...why did I get some?"

Juu-Kun: "I got money too...I think I'll use it to buy more weapons of mass destruction."

Rose: "Okay, now it's MY turn! And look, I have two! ...Well, one is a card." ::opens up the first one and finds a check for two hundred bucks, just like everyone else:: "Neat! Now for that card..." ::opens the card and reads it:: "'To My Favorite Sister: I'm sorry for for all the times I was mean to you. Merry Christmas, Love ya. ~Yusuke.' Awww!" ::hugs her brother:: "Thanks Yusuke! I knew you really loved me"

Yusuke: "Yeah, yeah..." ::hugs her back:: "Your my sister, I kinda have to."

Kade: "Everyone is so happy! Yay! Group hug, you guys!"

All: ::form a group hug::

Kade: ::reaches out and grabs Hiei, who is sitting alone, refusing to participate:: "Get in here, you!"

Hiei: ::very reluctantly complies:: "Hn."

::Buzzer sounds, signalling the end of the show::

Kade: "Great timing! Well everyone, that concludes the Hiei & Kurama Show Christmas Special
Spectacular! Hope you all had a nice time, but we have ONE MORE surprise for all of you fangirls
out there!" ::nods to Suki, Rose, Jesscheaux and Oni::

Oni: ::grabs Kurama::

Rose: ::grabs Yusuke::

Suki: ::grabs Hiei::

Jesscheaux: ::grabs Sanosuke::

Kade: ::grabs Kenshin::

Juu-Kun & Kuwabara: ::watches as all the guys are dragged kicking and screaming in protest over
to the mistletoe::

Kade: "And now, for the fangirls' Christmas present, you may all come up one by one and kiss your favorite bishie!"

Jesscheaux: "That's right! Five bucks per kiss!"

Guys: O.O

Kurama: "Please, why are you doing this?" ::gets tied to a chair by Oni::

Yusuke: "This is no fair!" ::Rose ties him to a chair as well::

Sanosuke & Kenshin: ::both tied to chairs:: "Let us go! PLEASE!"

Hiei: "I DEMAND TO BE SET FREE THIS INSTANT OR I WILL PERSONALLY DESTROY EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!" ::struggles in his entrapment as the fangirls rush to get in line::

Jesscheaux: ::laughs as she takes money from the desperate fangirls:: "Step right up! No pushing, please, you'll all get a fair turn!"

Guys: ::tortured screams:: "NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Kade: ::cackles:: "HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!"

Kade, Jesscheaux, Oni, Suki & Rose: ::wave:: "See you all next time!"

*************************************************************

Guys: ::are all permanently scarred for life because of the recent events::

Kenshin: ::watches replay, his face covered in lipstick:: "Well what do you know, my shirt does look rather pink, that it does."

Kade: ::slaps his back:: "Don't sweat it, Kenny-boy, it's not so bad. In fact, you and Kurama are the only two who can actually pull off that look."

Yusuke: ::looks into the camera, also with a lipstick-covered face:: "So anyway, if you like 'The Hiei & Kurama Show' then you should check out our official website! You can get to it by going here: 'http://members.fortunecity.com/hieiandkuramashow' [remove the spaces first]. Not
everything is up and running yet, but you can sign the guest book and participate in 'Ask Hiei'. Kade should be updating it regularly...right, Kade?" ::looks at that lovable writer::

Kade: ^_^ "Of course...hehe... I AM on vacation, but keep in mind I don't have a computer with
internet access at my house so I can't update as much as I want to..."

Kurama: ::face covered in many colors of lipstick:: "That is alright, Kade, you do your best and that is all they can ask of you."

Suki: ::still clinging to Kurama:: "Yeah! Kurama, you're so smart..." ^__^

Kurama: ::blushes faintly, but you can't tell because all the lipstick is like a mask on him:: "Why thank you."

Rose: ::snaps a picture of Kurama blushing:: "That was a great shot...hehehe..."

Jesscheaux: ::turns to Sanosuke, who is covered in lipstick too:: "So whadda ya say Sano, want to do the honors of announcing the guest for next episode?"

Kade: ::blushes and giggles madly::

Oni: ::turns to look at her:: "What's up?"

Kade: =) "I know who the guest is..."

Sano: ::turns back to Jesscheaux:: "...Okay, missy. I'll do it." ::looks into the camera:: "Next time on the Hiei & Kurama Show the special guest will be...Yami Yugi from Yu-Gi-Oh!"

Jesscheaux: "Ooohhhhhh, so THAT'S what she was so excited about." ;)

Kade: ::jumping up and down, practically bouncing off the walls:: "He's coming, he's coming!
WOOTNESS! I can't wait!"

Sano: ::shakes his head:: "Anyway, you can e-mail Kade the Mental One any questions you have for
this 'Yami' character, or for any of the other cast members...hey Kade, why can't they just put the question in the review?"

Kade: T_T "Cuz I got in trouble for it a while back...but people still put the questions in the reviews anyway...I'm just not allowed to tell them to, that's all." ::shrug:: "It's messed up."

Yusuke: "If that Yami guy is coming, I wonder if I'll get to duel him again? Hey, what's that Tea girl gonna think when she finds out that Kade invited Yami to the Season One Party? Doesn't she have some dumb crush on him or something?"

Kade: ::thinks about Tea:: >_< "...Grrrrr...Tea...must...kill..." ::clenches her fists::

Kurama: "Yusuke, you said the 'T' word..."

Yusuke: ::confused:: "Is that bad?"

Kurama: ::looks his poor, misguided friend directly in the eye:: "NEVER. Say. The 'T' word."

All: ::look at Kade, who is pacing back and forth while muttering under her breath something about flamethrowers, rocket launchers, and Tea's face:: O.O;

Jesscheaux: "Reminds me of myself every time I thought of Yukina." ::laughs::

Hiei: "Hn..."

Kuwabara: ::not covered in lipstick:: ::still doesn't know Yukina is Hiei's sister:: "What's with you, Hiei?"

Hiei: ::face covered in lipstick:: ::glares at Kuwabara:: "A ningen baka like you wouldn't
understand."

Jesscheaux: "HEY! Quit insulting my fiance, you puny little runt!"

Hiei: "Am I supposed to be offended?"

Kade: "Guys, it's Christmas! No fighting!"

Jesscheaux: "Ah, she's got a point..." ::shrugs:: "Alright Hiei, you're off the hook FOR NOW."

Oni: ::checks her watch:: "Whoa, we gotta go, you guys! It's almost time for that important meeting thingy that Kade was talking about."

Kade: "Hey, you're right. Heh...actually it's not a meeting at all...we're gonna go have a big snowball war! Then we're gonna have some hot chocolate! Alright loyal fans, we'll be seeing you on the next episode of The Hiei & Kurama Show! Please be kind and leave a review on your way out, and don't forget to have a Merry Christmas!"

Sano & Kenshin: ::wave at the camera:: "Happy Holidays everyone!"

Kade: ::bows before running after the rest of the crew:: "And to all a good night!" ::runs off to try and find out who the heck gave her that present::

The Hiei & Kurama Show

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 23:47:56 GMT

~The Hiei and Kurama Show~
--Main Cast Members (not counting guests):

Hiei
Kurama
Yusuke
Kuwabara
*Oni
*Juu-Kun
*Suki
*Jesscheaux
*Rose

*Other authors

_________________________________________________________________________

The usual scene is set up--dark blue background colors, a huge television screen mounted high on the wall, four or five crimson-colored chairs lined up in front of it, and a mahogany table with a vase full of roses set up in front of the chairs::
_________________________________________________________________________

*****BACKSTAGE*****

::Oni is walking around with a video camera in her hands and a sly smirk plastered onto her face. She turns a corner and begins to sidle the wall when the door to Kurama's office comes into view. When she gets up close to the doorway, she stops and turns on the video camera::

Oni: ::turning the camera around and speaking to it in a low voice:: "Hi, and welcome to the Oni
Cam. I'm about to break into my brother's office and get even with him for taking my Sake..."
::snickers:: "Let's have a little fun with Kurama!" ::turns the camera back around so she can tape the action::

::Oni slowly opens the door and steps inside the office, closing the door behind her::

Oni: "Hmm...looks pretty empty to me. Does he even USE this office?" ::spies a hairbrush and a
bottle of water on the desk:: "...Oh, yeah. He must use it. Now...just what kind of prank should we pull on him today? Well for starters, we should see just what he has inside that desk!"

::She begins opening drawers and pulling everything out--papers, pens, the usual stuff one would
expect to find in an office desk. But then...::

Oni: "A-ha!" ::pulls out a crimson colored book labeled 'Diary' in fancy gold writing:: "Alright! Score! This should be great for black-mail! ...Let's see what else my dear brother keeps in his desk!" ::continues rummaging through the drawers until she finds another book--this time a smaller black one--that is labeled 'Secret Shampoo Recipes':: "Well, well, well...Kurama makes his OWN shampoo! Jeez, I knew he liked his hair, but I had no idea it was THAT important to him." ::suddenly she hears a noise from outside:: "Uh-oh! I think somebody's coming!"

Kurama's Voice: "...Yes, I think it's in my office. Let me just retrieve it..."

Oni: =O "Oh man! If I'm caught, everything'll be ruined!" ::hastily crams everything back into the desk and slams the drawers shut:: ::glances at the door as Kurama's footsteps become closer:: "Better hide..." ::looks around quickly and then dives underneath the desk just as the door opens::

Kurama: ::singing softly to himself as he enters the room, not realizing that his younger sister is getting everything on tape:: ::pauses right in front of the desk:: "Hm...now where did I leave those documents?"

Oni: ::bites her lip, hoping he won't look in any of the drawers, and tries to resist the temptation to kick his legs and scare the crap out of him::

Kurama: ::after a seemingly long silence:: "Oh! That's right, I have not printed them out yet."
::leaves the room::

Oni: ::breathes a sigh of relief after hearing the door shut:: "Whew! He's gone." ::checks watch:: "Whoops, the show is going to start any minute now! I better get out of here before he notices I'm gone." ::crawls out from underneath the desk and quickly exits the room, running down the hall and darting around the corner::

Kuwabara: ::spots Oni with the camera:: "Hey Oni! Ready for the show today?"

Oni: ::nods and keeps walking, having spied the snack table and thought of a devious ploy::

Kuwabara: "Uh...okay, don't say 'hi'." ::walks into another room to talk to his girlfriend::

Oni: ::grabs a coffee mug from the table and fills it half-full with coffee, stirring in the right amount of sugar and cream until it's fixed just the way Kurama likes it:: "And now..." ::pulls out a bottle of Sake:: "...time to make things interesting!" ::pours the contents of the Sake bottle into the coffee mug and stirs it around::

Yusuke: ::pokes his head into the room:: "Oni!"

Oni: ::quickly hides the empty Sake bottle:: "Yeah?"

Yusuke: "We're on in five minutes! Where've you been?"

Oni: "Calm down, I'm on my way!" ::follows Yusuke to where the rest of the crew is on stage, and
walks up to her brother:: "Here bro, I made you some coffee."

Kurama: ::accepts the drink:: "Why thank you, Oni. Indeed this is just what I needed." ::takes a long sip without hesitation, and then makes a face:: "Hmm...it tastes a bit odd today. Are you certain that this is coffee?"

Oni: ::nods:: "Of course it's coffee!" ::rolls her eyes:: "No, I'm trying to poison you. Come on, would I do that?"

Kurama: ::stares at her warily:: "Sometimes I do wonder..." ::continues to drink the coffee anyway:: "This must be a different type of brew."

Oni: ::stifles a snicker, thinking 'You could say that...'::

Director: "Places, everyone!"

Yusuke: "Alright, where's Hiei?"

Hiei: "Hn."

::All heads turn to stare at Hiei. The outline of another body could be seen standing beside the fire demon::

Kuwabara: "Looks like Shorty brought a friend."

::Everyone looks at Hiei's friend--who was the same height, was dressed in black, and wore the same spikey hairstyle, except his was green instead of black. He even had a bandana wrapped around his forehead. He looked at them and smirked evilly...and they knew right away what they were dealing with...or did they? Juu-Kun had arrived!::

Juu-Kun: ::stares at Kuwabara and smirks, many evil thoughts running through his mind:: "Your
worst nightmare, baka. That woman of yours can't protect you forever!"

Jesscheaux: ::arrives on the scene and glares at Juu-Kun:: "You'd better not be threatening my sweet Kuwa-kun!"

Kurama: ::nervous laugh:: "Now, now, let's not start fighting amongst each other already...the show has not even begun yet." ::takes another sip of the coffee::

Kade: ::bounds in:: "Are you guys ready? I'm waiting to start the show here! Good to see you got
here alright, Juu-Kun."

Yusuke: "Wait--YOU invited that guy?"

Juu-Kun: ::sends Yusuke one of those death glares in which Hiei is also gifted with:: "You have a problem with that?"

Kade: "Yusuke...a bit of advice: don't mess with him."

Yusuke: ::cocks an eyebrow:: "Oh really? And why would that be, Kade?"

Kade: ::sighs and shakes her head sadly:: "Yusuke, picture somebody with Hiei's personality, only even more sadistic."

Yusuke: O.O "You mean that's possible?"

Hiei: ::glares:: "Hn."

Juu-Kun: "Would you care for a demonstration?"

Yusuke: ::holds his hands up and backs off, shaking his head:: "Uh-uh."

Kuwabara: ::laughs:: "Looks like the Great Urameshi got scared off by some punk half his size!"

Yusuke: ::grabs Kuwabara by the shirt collar:: "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP KUWABARA?" ::pulls back a fist and prepares to beat him senseless::

Kuwabara: Oh yeah? Well BRING IT ON URAMESHI! I'm not scared of you!" ::lifts a leg so he can kick Yusuke in the face::

Kade: "Oh brother!" ::grabs Yusuke's arm before it can hit Kuwabara's stomach::

Jesscheaux: ::pulls Kuwabara away right before his foot could connect with Yusuke's jaw:: "That's enough, boys! The show is about to start any second!"

Kade: ::gasps suddenly and checks her watch:: "OMG you're right! I'M LATE! I still have SO much
to do!" ::takes off running:: "See ya later guys!"

Kurama: ::finishes off his coffee:: "Well, let's get this show on the road."

*****THE SHOW HAS BEGUN*****

::Audience cheers wildly as the seven cast members walk out onto the stage, most of them waving to their faithful fans, and sitting down in the crimson red chairs on the stage::

Kurama: ::beginning to feel a little kooky:: "Welcome to our show, everybody! We're so glad that
you could all join us today..." ::eyes travel to his sister sitting next to him:: "...Oni, would you be a dear and fetch me some more of that wonderful coffee?"

Oni: ::snickers:: "I'd be more than happy to, Kurama." ::goes to get her brother some more 'coffee'::

Kurama: ::turns back to the audience:: We have a great show for you all today! More fan mail, two special guests, and a few brand new cast members to introduce to you all as well."

Hiei: ::dryly:: "Hn. How exciting."

Yusuke: ::ignoring the vertically challenged fire demon:: "Here's a question for you guys: how come we don't have any theme music?"

Kuwabara: "That's a good question, Urameshi, I was wondering that too!"

Yusuke: "All the great shows have theme music...like Jerry Springer! I think our show is great
enough to deserve some cool music!"

Jesscheaux: "You're right, we SHOULD have theme music...what's up with that?"

Kade's Voice: ::from backstage:: "Sorry! I'll get right on that!"

Oni: ::returns with a large cup of coffee, and hands it over to Kurama:: "Here you are." ::sits down again::

Kurama: ::slurps the beverage ravenously:: "Thank you very much, Oni, this is really excellent!"

All: O.O ::stare at Kurama and wonder if he's okay::

Yusuke: "Aaa-anyway, let's bring out the special guest for today."

Kuwabara: ::gazes lovingly at his girlfriend:: "You can do the introduction, Jess!"

Jesscheaux: "Thanks Kuwa! A-hem: All the way from his busy office in the Spirit World, it's the
pacifier-packing toddler himself--KOENMA!"

Koenma: ::on cue, he walks out onto the stage in his teen form, causing many Teen Koenma fan
girls to swoon:: "Hello everyone." ::sits down on one of the chairs, on the other side of Jesscheaux::

Teen Koenma Fangirls: "HE'S SOOO HOT!"

Kurama Fangirls: "NOT HOTTER THAN KURAMA!"

Hiei Fangirls: "AND HIEI! NOBODY'S HOTTER THAN HIEI!"

Teen Koenma Fangirls: ::glare at the Kurama and Hiei Fangirls:: "HOW DARE YOU! NOBODY IS HOTTER THAN THE PRINCE OF HELL!"

Hiei Fangirls: ::growl viciously:: "HN!"

Hiei Fangirl # 1: "Koenma may be the Prince of Hell, but Hiei is the Prince of HOT!"

Other Hiei Fangirls: "RIGHT ON!" ::high five each other::

Kurama Fangirls: ::growl right back at the opposing fangirls:: "GRRR!"

Kurama Fangirl # 1: "Oh yeah? Well Kurama is SO hot, he makes steam look cool!"

Other Kurama Fangirls: "OH YEAH!" ::high five each other::

Koenma Fangirls: ::are really getting angry:: "GRRRR!"

Kade's Voice: ::from backstage:: "ENOUGH! NO FANGIRL FIGHTS TODAY, I CAN'T TAKE THAT! ...Besides, Hiei is the hottest, duh."

Koenma and Kurama Fangirls: "WHY YOU--" ::arm themselves with tomatoes:: "COME OUT HERE AND SAY THAT!"

Kurama: ::gulps down the rest of his 'coffee':: "Yo yo yo, no more fighting over little 'ole me!" ::grins goofily:: "Hey--hic--Oni, will you go get me some--hic--more of that delicious--hic--coffee?"

Yusuke: "OH. MY. GOD! Oni, you didn't!"

Oni: ::nods:: "Oh, but I did!"

Jesscheaux: ::starts laughing:: "I can't believe I'm seeing this!"

Kuwabara: ::falls off his chair in a fit of laughter:: "This is priceless!"

Hiei: "Hn. Pathetic kitsune."

Juu-Kun: "I agree. Should we kill him?"

Hiei: ::shakes his head slightly:: "No...although he is useless to us in his current condition, he can be a very powerful ally."

Kurama: ::waving around the empty coffee cup:: "Hey!--hic--Oni! Gimme some more!"

Oni: ::shrugs:: "Ask and you shall recieve." ::bursts out laughing and goes to re-fill his cup once more::

Yusuke: "Uhh...okay." ::runs a hand through his gel-less hair:: "If he gets smashed, who's going to run the show?"

Kuwabara: "Leave that to me, Urameshi! I happen to have some excellent leadership skills!"

Yusuke: "Tch! Yeah right!"

Jesscheaux: ::nods:: "He really does, Yusuke."

Yusuke: ::rolls his eyes and looks at Kuwabara:: "Okay then, 'O Almighty Leader', what do you
propose we do now?"

Kuwabara: "Well, Koenma is waiting to be interviewed." ::shrugs::

Koenma: ::has been strangely silent until his name was mentioned:: "Yes? Did somebody say my
name?"

Yusuke: ::gives him a weird look:: "Yeah. Aren't you paying attention?"

Koenma: "Of course I'm paying attention, why wouldn't I be paying attention? I'm always
completely focused."

Yusuke: "Then what were we just talking about?"

Koenma: ::gets flustered:: "We were, uh, well--you were saying that, uh, that...um...HOW DARE
YOU INTERROGATE THE PRINCE OF HELL!"

Kuwabara: "So what you're saying is, you can't answer the question?"

Koenma: "...No, okay?"

Juu-Kun: ::without bothering to look up:: "That's because you've been busy sending messages on
your cell phone the whole time, isn't it?"

Koenma: ::upset that he'd been caught:: "I--you--he--the--SO WHAT? I'm a busy guy!"

Oni: ::comes back with another re-fill:: "Alright bro, I've got some more for ya!"

Kurama: ::swaying in his seat a bit:: "GIMME!" ::laughs and reaches for the cup::

Oni: ::holds the cup out of his reach:: "This is the LAST time I'm giving you a re-fill, okay? I really don't think you could handle much more..."

Kurama: "I want the damn coffee, woman!" ::laughs again::

Oni: ::hands over the coffee cup and starts laughing hysterically along with everybody else::

Kurama: ::consumes the beverage so rapidly that had he been able to run that fast, he'd have beaten Hiei in a race:: "Now that--hic--is the good stuff!"

Koenma: ::shakes his head:: "This is nuts!"

Jesscheaux: ::laughing too hard to respond, but nods in agreement::

Kurama: "Yo, I want some--hic--more of this here coffee! Don't--hic--make me go old schoo' on yo
punk asses!" ::waves his empty cup around, but he starts laughing so hard that he eventually loses interest in it::

Oni: ::pulls out another bottle of Sake and looks at it thoughtfully, as if considering letting her brother have some more:: ::shakes her head:: "Nah, this one's mine!" ::proceeds to consume the alcoholic beverage::

Yusuke: ::gazes at her in shock:: "Hey, Oni, you should be ashamed!"

Oni: "Wha...?"

Yusuke: "Yeah, you could at least SHARE some of that, jeez!"

Kayko: "YUSUKE!" ::marches down to the stage and slaps the hell out of him for the millionth
time::

Yusuke: @_@ ::passes out::

Kurama: ::singing way off-key from his chair:: "We raise up our glasses against evil forces, singing 'whiskey for my men, beer for my horses!'"

Oni: ::looks at him in awe:: "Are you singing drinking songs, Kurama?"

Kurama: ::laughs, hiccups, and nods::

Kuwabara: ::shakes his head:: "I think it's time to answer some fan mail."

Jesscheaux: ::wiping tears of laughter from her eyes:: "I think you're right, Kuwabara. I'll go get the mail."

Hiei: ::is over in a corner with Juu-Kun, planning their next move for world domination:: "Hn? Fan mail. It looks like the fools need us, Juu-Kun."

Juu-Kun: "Yes, well, I just got a brilliantly sadistic idea for the end of this pathetic show..." ::smirks evilly:: "I'll explain later. For now let's play along and assist those bakas."

Jesscheaux: ::returns with a cart-load of mail:: "Got it! Dude, there's a ton of mail back there! You guys must be pretty busy answering it all! How do you do it?"

Kurama: ::gives her a very serious look:: "That, Jesscheaux, is...a SECRET!" ::bursts out laughing again::

Oni: ::rolls her eyes:: "Whatever. I'll read the first one." ::picks out a letter and reads it:: "This is from Lessy, who writes 'Uhhh, Yusuke, I was, um, watching the show, I guess. And, thing is, I find it quite sad that Kurama is getting more dates than you, I mean what is this world coming to when a guy who wears purple can get more dates than you? So, uh, could you maybe go out with me?' ...Oooohh, YUSUKE!" ::winks at him::

Yusuke: =D ::sits up, now awake:: "Al-RIGHT!" ::punches the air:: "See people, I DO have fans! I
would definitely go out with you! Are you hot?" ::gets a perverted look on his face::

Kayko: ::is about to march onto stage again to slap him silly, but suddenly something happens...::

::A juggling ball whizzes across the stage and smacks Yusuke full in the face::

Yusuke: "Wha-huh-who?" @_@ ::passes out again::

All: ::look backstage to where the juggling ball came from::

Kurama: ::yells loudly:: "YO, 'SUP WIT' DAT?"

::A girl of about fourteen wearing jean shorts, sneakers, and a shirt the says "DIE" on the back
comes running onto the stage with none other than Puu sitting on top of her head. Her chestnut
brown hair is in two braids, one on each side of her head::

Girl: ::looks at Yusuke's unconscious form lying sprawled out on the floor:: "Yup, I got that fool pretty good!"

Puu: "Puu puu puu-puu!"

Girl: ::nods:: "Yeah, Puu, he really is!"

Koenma: "And just who are you, might I ask?"

Girl: "My name's Rose! I'm this idiot's younger and much-more-intelligent sister!" ::jerks thumb
towards the indisposed Spirit Detective::

Yusuke: ::sits up, looking quite unsteady, a large lump adorning his forehead:: ::sees Rose standing over him smirking:: "YOU! What are you doing here?"

Rose: ::starts juggling the balls:: "Wouldn't YOU like to know?"

Puu: "Puu-puu!"

Rose: ::laughs at Puu's comment::

Yusuke: "Hey! What did he just say? What are you laughing about?"

Rose: ::gives him an innocent look:: "Oh, nothing, nothing at all!"

Jesscheaux: "Rose, you can understand Puu?"

Rose: ::looks at her and nods:: "Yup!"

Kuwabara: "That's pretty cool!"

Kurama: ::begins singing again:: "Everybody's workin' for the weekend! Everybody wants a new
romance! Everybody's goin' off the deep end! Everybody needs a second chance! You want a piece
of my heart, you better start from the start! You wanna be in the show, C'MON BABY LET'S GO!"
::jumps up and starts dancing to music that apparently only he can hear::

Oni: "What in the...jeez, you ARE nuts!" ::laughs as she watches her brother dance all over the
stage::

Kurama: ::runs up to the audience, grabs a random girl, and pulls her onto stage:: "Dance with me baby!" ::takes her hands and swings her around::

Random Girl: "Hey, watch the merchandise!" ::steps away from him, giving him a weird look:: "Sober yourself up and then we'll talk."

Kurama: ::looks disappointed:: "But I--hic--AM sober!"

All: ::sigh and shake their heads::

Random Girl: ::walks up and takes Kurama's seat next to Oni:: "I'm Suki. Mind if I join you?"

Oni: ::shrugs:: "Not at all, I'm sure Kurama won't mind."

Suki: "Cool..." ::eyes travel backstage, then she checks her watch::

Yusuke: ::looks at the same spot backstage:: "What?"

Suki: ::crosses her arms impatiently:: "Oh Kade, I'm waiting!"

Kade: ::appears on stage, looking quite clueless:: "...Huh?"

Suki: "C'mon, where's my description?"

Kade: "Damn, I knew I forgot something! Sorry 'bout that..." ::runs backstage, and a minute later Suki receives her description::

::Suki is a demon who looks just like a human except for her ears and whiskers. Her hair is jet black and about half-way to mid-back in length--something that would look terrible on anyone else but works for her--and her eyes are icy blue. She is dressed in very baggy blue jeans with frayed hems and holes in both knees, four--count 'em--four black belts, a black spaghetti strap tank top, black fishnet arm socks and the whole outfit is adorned with lots of chains. On her feet are a pair of blue VANS skater shoes::

Suki: "That's better."

Yusuke: "Another demon, huh?"

Hiei: "Hn." ::says 'Hn' to spite fans that hate 'Hn'::

Suki: ::snaps her fingers:: "Alright, my minions, he said 'Hn' simply to spite those fans. You know what that means--GET KUWABARA!"

Kuwabara: ::looks around for a few minutes, wondering what the heck she's talking about::

::Suddenly a stampede of hamsters--yes, hamsters--come running onto the stage and before Kuwabara can react, they swarm all over him::

Suki: ::laughs::

Juu-Kun: "That's an interesting form of torture."

Kuwabara: ::from underneath a pile of rodents:: "HELP!"

Jesscheaux: ::starts batting away the hamsters with a whiffle-ball bat:: "Hang on Kuwa, I'll get them off you!"

Kurama: ::stares at the scene:: "Whoooaaaaa...I--hic--must be REEEAAALLLLYYY drunk, cuz--hic--there's an army of HAMSTERS attacking Kuwabara!"

Koenma: O.O "This is a little strange for my taste..."

Jesscheaux: ::still trying to remove the hamsters from Kuwabara:: "Hey, little help here!?"

Rose: "Oh, alright!" ::jumps up and starts hitting the hamsters too::

::The hamsters all jump off Kuwabara and retreat as suddenly as they had come::

Kuwabara: "Well that was weird."

Jesscheaux: "Hiei, do us all a favor and don't say 'Hn' anymore."

Hiei: "Hn."

Suki: "Oh, HAMSTERS!"

::Hamsters come back and attack Kuwabara again::

Kuwabara: "NOT AGAIN!"

Oni: ::grabs a bat and helps Jesscheaux and Rose beat the hamsters away:: "You know, this is kinda fun..."

::A minute later the hamsters disperse once more::

Rose: ::tosses the bat aside:: "Okay Hiei, you really have to stop saying 'Hn' now."

Hiei: ::is about to say 'Hn' but six hands cover his mouth to stop him::

Rose, Oni, and Jesscheaux: "NO!"

Kurama: ::laughing:: "You guys are--hic--fuuuuunnnyyyy!"

Koenma: -__- "Let's move on, shall we?"

Kuwabara: ::sighs:: "Time for another fan letter!" ::chooses a letter and opens it:: "This is from Random Girl, who writes 'Here's a question to all the guys: How do each of you feel about Botan? I mean I heard (i'm not sure if this is true, of course) that somewhere along the future Kurama AND Hiei ask her out! (i'd pay to see that) And then of course I've read a lot of fanfics with Yusuke and Botan, and Kuwabara and Botan, and Koenma and Botan pairings. Do you know if she knows about all this and if so how do you think she feels about this? PS: I feel sorry for you, Kurama, you're always getting asked out on dates! Oh well this is one girl you won't have to worry about. ^^ And Yusuke I'm surprised like you because you ARE the main character of YYH and there aren't many sites I've seen dedicated to you on the internet. Oh well. Ja ne.'" ::pauses before answering the question:: "Well, I think of Botan as a good friend!"

Yusuke: "Liar, you used to have this huge crush on her!"

Kuwabara: ::blushes:: "I--but--yeah, so? That was before I met Jessi!" ::huffs and crosses his arms::

Yusuke: "Botan annoys me sometimes...okay, most of the time. I mean, come on, what kind of a
Grim Reaper wears PINK?" ::turns to Hiei:: "What about you?"

Hiei: "Hn. Baka woman. I would never ask her out on one of those foolish ningen 'dates'."

Yusuke: "There ya go. Kurama?"

Kurama: "I--hic--want to--"

Oni: ::covers his mouth:: "I don't think you want this question answered while he's drunk, Random Girl! ...As far as I know, he doesn't like Botan in that way, but who knows?"

Yusuke: "Do we know if she knows about the pairings? Well, she probably does. I bet she sits at
Koenma's big computer all day and reads the stories..."

Koenma: "You think so? ...That Botan, I told her not to mess with my computer! I've been
wondering who had put up the puppy and kitten screensaver! All this time I was blaming it on
Ogre..."

Kurama: ::swaying back and forth:: "Yeah I feel sorry for me too, yo! The girls--hic--just won't
leave me alone! I'm a--hic--chick magnet, yo!

All: ::give him a weird look::

Yusuke: "Yeah, finally somebody agrees with me! There should be a ton more sites dedicated to
ME, since I'M the star of the show!"

Rose: "Oh, quit complaining. At least you're ON the show."

Yusuke: ::gives her an annoyed look:: "Butt out, will ya?"

Rose: "Don't make me fire MY Spirit Gun at you, ya big fool of a jerk! Don't forget, I'm a Spirit Detective in training!"

Yusuke: "Yeah, 'in training'. What could YOU do to ME?"

Rose: ::hurls all her juggling balls at her obnoxious, loud-mouthed brother's head:: "That."

Yusuke: ::gets clobbered by all the juggling balls at once:: @___@

Oni: "Okay, I'll read the next letter." ::takes one and opens it:: "This is from Hikari: 'Hmm, all right. I'll be there. With sweet snow. I'll see you then. Sorry Kurama, for what your sister said it seems talking about Kuronue is a hard subject. Sorry.'" ::puts the letter down:: "Don't beat yourself up over it, Hikari. He really does enjoy talking about all the good memories he and Kuronue had together, even though it makes him sad."

Hiei: "Hn. Alright, and bring PLENTY of Sweet Snow. The training will be hard, so prepare
yourself."

Rose: ::picks up another letter from the pile:: "I think I'll read the next letter. It's from dustbunny690 who writes 'Kurama you were supposed to go out with me last Friday, where were you?'"

All: ::look at Kurama::

Kurama: ::looks back at them:: "What?"

Oni: "You missed a date with a girl? How'd you manage THAT?"

Kurama: "I--hic--fucked up!"

All: O.O

Suki: "Am I going insane or did he really say what I thought he said?"

Oni: ::nods:: "Oh yeah. He really said it."

Yusuke: "RIGHT ON!" ::claps for Kurama, earning himself another juggling ball to the face::
::falls to the floor, sits up and glares at his sister:: "QUIT THAT! You're really starting to tick me off!"

Rose: ::grins at him:: "That's too bad. Stop making a fool of yourself all the time and maybe I won't have to hit you with these anymore." ::starts juggling the balls again::

Jesscheaux: "Unbelievable! Kurama? Jeez, there are kids watching this show, ya know!"

Kurama: ::grins stupidly::

Kuwabara: ::shakes his head:: "Okay, I really think we should answer some more fan mail. Suki,
you want to read the next one?"

Suki: ::shrugs:: "Sure." ::takes a letter from the pile and reads it:: "This is from Johanna Gen: 'Koenma- I quote you in school all the time. Everyone hates me for it. They're getting really tired of me mumbling about 'misty water-colored nostalgia' in study hall... --() YOU MUST ALL NOW APPRECIATE THE PROFOUNDNESS OF HIS QUOTES! ALL OF YOU! Okay, mini-rant's done. And no, I'm not a fangirl... Blergh... Kurama- Do you know any gen-jutsu? And no, it has nothing to do with me or my last name. My last name just happens to mean 'illusion' in Japanese. No, seriously, I made my pen name before my pathetic attempt to learn Japanese. Anyways, it really is handy to know, at least a little bit. Hiei- Hi. 'Hn' is a good quote! I like quoting people! My friends say it's not a word, but it is! 'HN' IS A WORD! Okay, second mini-rant's done. Once I tried to draw what you would look like as a girl... That was really odd... Sorry 'bout the irrelevant comment. Yusuke- Hi. Nothing more to say. Kuwabara- Nice to see you finally found a girlfriend! Oh, and peoples? I'll be sending money to Kuwabara for an engagement party (if you 2 get engaged), Kurama money for... whatever he feels like buying, Hiei for sweet snow and weaponry (Yeah! Sharp shiny things! I love sharp shiny things! Like katanas! Everyone needs some sharp shiny things in their life!), Yusuke to spend on Kayko and for whatever else, and I don't really think Koenma needs my money for anything... -Bai-bai from the insane CEO of Kigyou no Gen!' ...Whoa, that's a long one!"

Koenma: "I'm glad to know that I've had such an influence on a fan!" ::beams:: "But of course I
have, I mean I AM the Prince of Hell after all..."

Kurama: ::wobbles in his chair:: "No, I--hic--don't know gen-jutsu...but I AM THE PINK
BANANA! YOU ALL MUST BOW DOWN TO MY GREATNESS!" ::falls onto the floor in a fit of drunken laughter::

Hiei: "Hn. Of course it's a word. My word. Claim it as your own and you will die a most painful
death. Never even attempt to draw me as a female again, or you will share the same fate as our
pathetic fool of a writer!"

Yusuke: "Calm down, Hiei. Jeez. With that attitude, it's amazing that you have as many fans as you do!"

Puu: "Puu-puu puu puu! Puuuuuuu..."

Rose: ::laughs:: "Yup, he actually said something intelligent, Puu. It MUST be snowing in Hell."

Yusuke: "WHY YOU--" ::gets hit by two of his half-sister's juggling balls:: "...Not again..." @_@

Kuwabara: ^___^ "Thanks! I'm very happy to be with Jess! She's the light of my life."

Jesscheaux: "Oh Kazuma, that was so sweet!" ::leans over to kiss him on the cheek::

Kuwabara: ::blushes:: "Thanks honey!"

Suki: ::mumbling:: "Fluff overload. I think I'm gonna be sick..."

Kuwabara: ::continues to answer the question:: "You're going to send me money? For an engagement party?" ::looks at his girlfriend:: "You...you would..." ::pauses, and then gets out of the chair::

Jesscheaux: "What are you doing, Kuwa?"

Kuwabara: "I was saving this for the right moment, but now is as good a time as any..." ::gets down on one knee and takes Jesscheaux's hand:: "Jess, honey...ever since I read the letter from you that day, life hasn't been the same. I fell in love the instant I read your beautiful words, and I knew the moment I first saw you that we were meant for each other. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing I think about before I fall asleep. Life hasn't always been good to me, but I know that if you could be in it forever then I'd be the happiest man alive." ::reaches into his pocket and produces a small box::

Jesscheaux: "....." ::speechless as she watches him open it, and gasps when she sees what's inside::

Kuwabara: ::slides something onto his beloved's ring finger and looks deep into her eyes::
"Jesscheaux...will you marry me?"

Jesscheaux: ::stares in complete shock at the 15-carat diamond ring adorning her finger, and then looks up at Kuwabara with tears in her eyes:: "Of course I'll marry you, Kazuma Kuwabara!" ::hugs him tightly::

Kuwabara: ::smiles really wide and hugs her back::

Everyone In The Building: ::start clapping and cheering for the happy couple::

Yusuke: "Way to go, Kuwabara!" ::thumps him on the back when he and Jesscheaux break apart::

Kuwabara: ::grins happily::

Kade: ::hears the proposal from backstage:: ::thinks, 'Oh heck, my work can wait...this was
unexpected!':: ::runs out and hugs Jesscheaux:: "Congrats, Jess! I'm so happy for you!"

Jesscheaux: ^____^ "Thanks!"

Oni: "Whoa, I can't believe you guys are engaged now!" ::also hugs Jesscheaux::

Suki: "Yeah!" ::thinks about making a smart remark, but decides against it:: "Oh, congratulations you guys!" ::gives them each a hug::

Rose: ::puts away her juggling balls and hugs them too:: "Congratulations!"

Puu: "Puuuuu!"

Rose: ::laughs:: "Puu says 'congratulations' too!"

Kurama: "I--hic--would like to propose a toast--hic--but there isn't any beer..." ::giggles like a madman::

Oni: ::rolls her eyes at him::

Hiei & Juu-Kun: "Hn."

Kuwabara: ::beaming with happiness:: "Thank you everyone! Thank you very much. And thank you, Johanna Gen, for the money!"

Yusuke: "Oh yeah, thanks for the money!"

Kurama: "Yeah, I--hic--can spend it on--hic--beer!"

Koenma: "You're right though, I don't need any money. I'm the Prince of Hell."

Hiei: "Hn. Sweet Snow..." ::starts drooling::

Juu-Kun: ::reaches for a bucket and holds it under Hiei's mouth::

Kuwabara: ::looks at Jesscheaux:: "Should we keep reading fan mail, sweetie?"

Jesscheaux: "Oh alright, I guess we should. I'll read the next letter!" ::grins and chooses another letter from the pile:: "This one is from Tessajalynn Cilory, and she writes 'Koenma: Do you have some sick fascination with things in your mouth? I mean when you're in your teenage form and you don't have your passy in your mouth you actually rate a little better on my QT scale. Hiei: Hn...I love that!! ...Hey....you didn't answer my last question, nor comment on my death to all Hiei fan girls thingy. Yusuke: I am your fan baka!!! Why in the world do you think I gave you the advice? Kuwabaka..I mean Kuwabara: Ewwwwww!!!! Kurama: I shall relay that you will be free sometime in January...but you have to give me the specific date...also....she wants to know...where do you live and when should she pick you up...and what did you want to do? Oni: Ooooh....juicy stuff on Kurama?? SPILL!!!!' ...Grrr, my fiance is NOT a baka!"

Koenma: "To answer your question, I do NOT have any sick fascinations with things in my mouth, I
just...really...like my pacifier! ...Yes, I'm aware that I'm a chick magnet in my teenage form...that's why I came to the show like this!" ::smiles at his fan girls, who all scream and faint::

Hiei: ::looks up to answer the question:: "Hn. Yes, I agree that all stupid ningen fangirls should die. I would gladly do it myself, but our pathetic writer is holding me back." ::glares at Kade backstage:: ::thinks, 'I shall kill her one day':: "As for your last question, I don't care if 'Hn' is getting old. I'll say it whenever I want, hn."

Yusuke: ::grins:: "Another fan! Excellent! At least now I know that I have fangirls!" ::sighs:: "This is a good day! ...I wonder what she looks like?"

Rose: ::chucks another juggling ball at his head:: "Pervert."

Yusuke: ::gets hit by the juggling ball:: "Ohhh..." ::mumbles incoherently and passes out yet again::

Kuwabara: "Huh? 'Eeeewwww'?" ::pouts:: "I'm not THAT ugly!"

Jesscheaux: ::pats his arm reassuringly:: "No you're not, sweetie. I think you're very handsome."

Kuwabara: ^________^ ::blushes:: "Thanks!" ::hugs her::

Kurama: "Yo yo yo, no more--hic--PDA, y'all! It's makin' me--hic--sick, yo! As for the question, I'm free January 15th. I'll send her the directions to my house later. Five o'clock would be groovy..." ::starts laughing and hiccups again:: "Kurama likes beer...we could go to a bar...and
get--hic--drunk!"

Oni: ::sighs:: "I'm sorry, he's not usually like that. He'd love to go to a movie, and I promise not to get him drunk before the date." ::grins:: "You want to know juicy stuff about Kurama? ...Well, you've come to the right girl!" ::whips out the book entitled 'Diary'::

Suki: "Whoa! You got his diary? Come on, read it!"

Kurama: ::sways in his seat:: "How'd you--hic--get that?"

Oni: ::smirks at him:: "I stole it from your office." ::knows that he won't remember this information the next day::

Kurama: "Huh? I--hic--oughtta go old schoo' on yo ass!" ::tries to stand up, but falls back down
laughing:: "I'll go--hic--old schoo' on yo punk ass...tomorrow!"

Suki: ::reads the diary over Oni's shoulder:: "'Dear Diary: Today I managed to embarrass myself
quite horribly. It was just another normal day of school. The fan girls were all over me as usual, which is simply annoying to tell the truth. Anyhow, during fourth period I left class to use the facilities. I came back to class five minutes later, but when I walked in the door everyone began to laugh! I could not figure out what they were laughing about...then I looked down and saw that I had neglected to zip up my fly! Not only that, but I also had a trail of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my shoe! I will have trouble living that down...however it has not stopped the fan girls from chasing me, I'm afraid.'"

Everyone In The Building: ::begins laughing hysterically::

Oni: "Kurama, that really happened?"

Kurama: ::crosses his arms:: "I don't--hic--remember..."

Rose: ::rolls her eyes:: "Of course he doesn't." ::pulls out her camera and takes the opportunity to snap a photo of the drunken Kurama:: "Can you say 'black-mail'?"

Oni & Suki: "Oh yeah!" ::all high five each other::

Rose: ::takes hold of the diary and begins reading another entry:: "'Dear Diary: I had another date tonight. It seems as though I am going to have a date every night for the rest of my existence, and it is simply amazing that with all the dates that I have I am still able to get all of my homework done, do chores for my mother, spend time with my family, and somehow I also find the time to assist Yusuke and the others with their demon hunting. Anyhow, the date tonight began wonderfully. I picked her up at her house at six o'clock sharp, and we went to see a movie. The movie went quite well, so we then decided to go to the most expensive restaurant in the area. I had been admiring her all evening; she was a remarkable young woman and I had truly been considering her as a girlfriend...it certainly would have cut in half the countless number of dates I am obligated to go on! So we were seated at a table, and she ordered quite the large meal...indeed I was impressed at her metabolism. I thought I saw her begin to drool as the waiter walked away, but it may very well have been my imagination...however, nothing could prepare me for what happened when our food finally arrived fifteen minutes later! Diary, I do not know just how to explain it, but one moment she had five plates of food in front of her, and the next it was all gone! I was absolutely shocked! She lowered her head onto the plate and began wolfing it down like some sort of animal! I could only sit there and stare in awe, and let me tell you, I was quite embarrassed! When she had finished inhaling all of her meals only three short minutes later, she looked up at me and grinned...and her face was just covered in sauce and the bits of food that didn't make it into her mouth! I knew right then that I had to get out of there before she decided to eat me as well! I looked up to the waiter desperately, and said "Check please!" I never wish to have that kind of experience again!'"

Oni: ::laughing:: "Hey, I think I remember that one! Kurama came home one night mumbling about
a girl who had no manners...that might have been her!"

Kurama: "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout? I dun--hic--'member nothin'!"

Rose: "I wonder who the girl was?"

Kurama: "Bo--hic--tan..."

All: "BOTAN??"

Jesscheaux: "What? Are you kidding me? BOTAN?" ::laughs:: "Ha! Looks like that sickeningly fake British accent isn't her only flaw!"

Yusuke: "Man, I can't believe that!" ::cracks up::

Kuwabara: "Yeah!"

Suki: "Hey, read another one! Do we have time for one more?"

Kuwabara: ::checks his watch:: "Yeah, if you read fast."

Oni: "Hey, let's have a volunteer from the audience read the last entry!"

Suki: ::shrugs:: "Okay. Who wants to read it?"

Every Fangirl: ::raises her hand:: "MEEEEE!!"

Oni, Suki, & Rose: O.O

Jesscheaux: "Just pick the least rabid-looking one."

::Before any of them can choose, a girl steps forward. She has black ears that are too small for a wolf but too large for a dog with silver tips, black hair with silver ends, a black tail that also has a silver tip, golden eyes, fangs and claws. She looks friendly enough::

Girl: "I'd like to volunteer, if it's not a problem."

Oni: "Sure, come on up! What's your name?"

Girl: "Kurayami, but you can call me Kura."

Kurama: "Hey--hic--what kinda demon are you--hic--anyway?"

Kura: "Half wolf, half dog." ::walks over to where Oni, Suki, and Rose are reading Kurama's diary::

Hiei: "Hn."

Suki: ::is about to sic her hamster minions on Kuwabara again, but Oni and Rose stop her before she can do it::

Rose: "We're almost outta time, remember?"

Suki: "Right. Okay Kura, pick a page and read it out loud for all to hear!"

Kura: ::grins:: "With pleasure!" ::takes the book and flips through it to a random page somewhere in the middle:: "Here we go. 'Dear Diary: Why do my dates always have such horrible outcomes? Why is it that I cannot simply date a nice, normal girl for once? Must I forever be forced to go out with rabid fangirls? Tonight was another one of those nights. The girl I dated just would not stop touching me, it was completely embarrassing. Every five minutes she felt it necessary to "glomp" me, as she put it. I will not go into the details of this date, for it is simply too horrific for me to re-live...as it is, I will have nightmares for weeks! Other than tonight's date, the day went fairly smoothly for me. I did chores for Mother as usual. While I was doing the dishes, I almost dropped one of Mother's glasses! She would have been quite angry with me if I had let it fall, but luckily I managed to save it. I do not want to give Mother any reason to become angry with me, because most likely it will cause my Youko to emerge...I do not wish to have another incident like the one a few weeks ago. I honestly tried to keep the Youko's comment to myself, but it just slipped out! I was late for school one morning--quite late--and Mother began to grow impatient with me. I was causing her to be late for work, and she was frustrated because the week had not been a pleasant one for her. She started to yell, and that's when the Youko called her a "whiny little bitch". I was so ashamed! Imagine me trying to explain to her that it was an accident! And that, Diary, is how I became grounded for the first time in my life.'"

Oni: "Oh yeah, I remember that!" ::laughs:: "That was pretty funny when you did that!"

Kurama: "She--hic--deserved it! She shouldn't have been yellin' at me--hic--like that!"

Kura: ::closes the diary and looks at Yusuke:: "So Yusuke, you want to hang out sometime? I
noticed you don't seem to have a whole lot of fans..."

Yusuke: "Heck yeah, I'd love to hang out with you...just don't tell Kayko, she'll get the wrong
idea...unless we WANT her to get the wrong idea..." ::makes his eyebrows jump up and down::

Rose: ::throws a juggling ball at him without even having to look::

Yusuke: ::gets hit on the head:: @_@

Kuwabara: "You'd think he would have learned by now, wouldn't you?"

Jesscheaux: "Yeah, tell me about it!"

Kura: "Here's a question for Hiei and Kurama--how do you guys feel about those yaoi fics that
people write about you?"

Hiei: ::noticably shivers:: "I think it's sick...sick and wrong."

Kurama: "Yeah! It's most definitely--hic--sick and wrong. I'm not gay, yo! And even if I--hic--WAS gay, it wouldn't be with Hiei!"

All: O.O

Kuwabara: "Hey, shouldn't we have run out of time by now?"

Jesscheaux: ::checks her watch:: "Hmm, you'd think so, huh? Let me go check!" ::jumps up and runs backstage::

Kuwabara: ::notices Juu-Kun staring at him with an evil look in his eyes:: "W-why are you looking at me like that?"

Juu-Kun: "You'd like to know, wouldn't you? I think I'll just show you instead!"

Kuwabara: ::watches as his pants suddenly catch fire:: "AAAAHHHHH!" ::jumps out of the chair
and runs around, trying to put the fire out:: "I'M BURNING, I'M BURNING!"

Oni: ::eyes grow really big:: "FIRE! YES!"

Suki: "Looks like we got ourselves a pyro! Nice!" ::high-fives Oni::

Jesscheaux: ::comes back onto the stage:: "Well, it looks like our clock is five minutes--KUWABARA!" ::grabs a bucket of water and splashes it onto Kuwabara, putting the fire
out:: "Who did that to my sweet Kuwabara?" ::eyes move to Hiei:: "Was it you? You baka, you're
always so mean to Kuwa!"

Hiei: "Hn. It wasn't me, woman!"

Juu-Kun: "It was me. And I'm not finished with that baka!" ::opens up his own jagan eye and stares at Kuwabara, trying to take over his mind::

Kuwabara: ::suddenly becomes very still:: "What's happening?" ::as Juu-Kun grins evilly, he runs
up to the nearest wall and proceeds to drive his head right through it over and over again::
::BANG!:: "Ow!" ::BANG!:: "OW!" ::BANG!:: "OW!" ::BANG!:: "OW!"

Yusuke: "Careful Kuwabara, you'll give yourself severe brain damage!"

Kura: ::starts laughing:: "He can't possibly damage himself any more, Yusuke!"

Jesscheaux: "CUT IT OUT! Quit bullying him!" ::grabs Kuwabara to prevent him from damaging
himself any further::

Juu-Kun: "Alright, but don't think I can't do mental torture just as easily!"

Kuwabara: ::rubs his sore head:: "What does he mean by--" ::stops talking and holds perfectly still, head cocked to one side, as if listening to something::

Yusuke: "What are you doing, Kuwabara?"

Kuwabara: "Shhh! Quiet Urameshi, I hear music!"

Yusuke: ::shakes his head and mutters something about Kuwabara being a nutcase::

Kuwabara: O.O;;; ::recognizes the music:: "OH NO!" ::clutches his head:: "MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!"

Jesscheaux: "Kuwabara, what's wrong?"

Kuwabara: ::drops to the floor and begins to rock back and forth:: "No...NO! I can't stand it! IT'S TOO HORRIBLE!"

Yusuke: "Tell us what's wrong already, doofus!"

Kuwabara: "That song...THAT SONG! AAAHHHHHH! It's--it's--IT'S BARNEY!!" ::begins to sing:: "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family!"

All: "AAAAHHHHHHHHH!! EVIL!"

::Suddenly the buzzer goes off, signalling the end of the show::

Jesscheaux: "JUU-KUN! Get that horrible music out of my sweetie's head RIGHT NOW!"

Juu-Kun: "Hn, but it's so much fun to hear his tortured screams!"

Kuwabara: "NOOOOO! Please, it's awful! MAKE IT STOP, I'M BEGGING YOU! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

::Camera fades out to the desperate screams of Kuwabara, the angry shouts and threats of his fiance, and the laughter of all the others::

_______________________________________________________________

Kura: ::watches re-play:: "Yeah! Kuwabara Torture rules!"

Suki: ::nods:: "Doesn't it though?"

Juu-Kun: "I'm only sorry that I wasn't able to do more..."

Suki: "Well, the Barney thing was definitely pretty evil!"

Kade: ::runs into the room looking extremely pleased with herself:: "Hi guys!"

Kurama: ::now sober and with a pounding headache:: "Hello Kade."

Kade: ::hugs Kurama:: "I love you!"

Kurama: ^_^; ::rubs his aching forehead:: "Err...thank you?"

Yusuke: O.o "Huh?"

Kade: ::hugs Yusuke:: "I love you!"

Hiei: "Hn."

Kade: ::hugs Hiei:: "I love you!" ::proceeds to hug everyone else and tell them she loves them:: "I love you all!"

Yusuke: "Jeez, you're in a good mood! What's up?"

Kade: ::grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him a little:: "HE...SAID...YES!!" ^_______^ "HE
SAID YES! HE SAID YES!"

Kurama: "Who are you referring...oh. You asked Yami to the party, I presume?"

Kade: *^__^* "YEAH! And he said YES!" ::dances around the room in happiness before finally
calming down enough to stand still::

Jesscheaux: "Way to go, gurl!" ::she and Kade high-five each other::

Kade: "This is so cool! I had to practically beg Yugi to let me talk to Yami, though. He still
remembers the LAST time he let me talk him into something..." ::shrugs innocently:: "...but all of Tea's hair has grown back since then!"

Jesscheaux: "So what did he say when you asked him?"

Kade: ::in her best Yami impersonation:: "'I would be honored to go with you.' ...God, I hope I didn't act fangirlish around him..."

Oni: "Nah, I bet you were fine!"

Kade: "Hey Oni, who are you bringing?"

Oni: "My boyfriend, Heero." ::grins::

Kade & Jesscheaux: "Ooohhhh! Oni's got a man!"

Kurama: ::grumble grumble::

Oni: "Cut it out, bro! You promised you wouldn't be like this about him!"

Kurama: ::sigh:: "I know I did, Oni. I apologize."

Suki: "Hey Kurama, you'll go to the party with me, won't you?"

Kurama: ::blushes faintly:: "Why certainly, Suki...I would very much like to go with you."

Suki: "Cool!" ::hugs Kurama::

Oni: ::pokes Suki to get her attention:: "Hey...wouldn't it be wild if somebody spiked the punch, and everybody who drank it got smashed?"

Kurama: ::notices the glint in his sister's eyes:: "I think not! Do not get any crazy ideas, Oni! Do you realize just how many guests we shall be entertaining that night? We cannot handle that many drunken guests."

Rose: ::bounds in holding a shiny new camera and begins taking pictures:: "Hey guys, check out my new digital camera! I'm bringing it to the party!"

All (except Hiei and Juu-Kun): "Cool!"

Juu-Kun: ::nudges Hiei:: "We have a few things to take care of..." ::smirks sadistically::

Hiei: "Hn. Let's go." ::both run off to cause more destruction and chaos::

Kurama: ::sighs:: "I am in great need of some sort of painkiller...would one of you like to announce who will be the next guest?"

Kade: "Go ahead, Rose."

Rose: "Okay. Next time on The Hiei And Kurama Show the special guests will be Sanosuke and
Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin! E-mail Kade any questions you might want to ask them, and don't forget to review and let her know what you think!"

Kade: ^__^ "Couldn't have said it any better myself! Chapter Seven everyone, see you all there!"
::runs off to work on Chapter 7::

The Hiei & Kurama Show

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 23:17:53 GMT

~The Hiei and Kurama Show~
--With your hosts, Hiei and Kurama ::next part is written sloppily and taped to the sign:: +
YUSUKE
_________________________________________________________________________

The usual scene--dark blue background colors, a huge television screen mounted high on the wall, four or five crimson-colored chairs lined up in front of it, a mahogany table with a vase full of roses set up in front of the chairs--is now behind a large black curtain.
_________________________________________________________________________

::Theme music plays and the camera zooms in on...an empty stage. Wait a minute! Empty stage? The black curtain blocks off the scenery normally visible::

Fans: ::are confused::

Random Fangirl: "What's going on?"

::Suddenly jazz music begins to play from somewhere in the back, and the curtains part, revealing a stage that closely resembles the one seen on "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" Yusuke, Hiei, Kurama and Kuwabara are seated in four chairs placed side-by-side, while seated in a swirly chair with her feet propped up on the desk in front of her was the silver-haired young woman called Oni (Kurama's sister)::

Fans: ?

Oni: ::grinning at the audience:: "Hi everybody, and welcome to 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?' done
our way! We're just gonna do a couple funny games for your entertainment, ok? The first one we're going to play is called 'World's Worst'. Are you ready, guys?"

Kuwabara: "Sure am!"

Yusuke: "Yep, bring it on!"

Kurama: "I'll have to rely on my wits during this game..."

Hiei: "Hn." ::thinking, 'Stupid ningen games!'::

Oni: "Ok! Everyone get up here!" ::the four guys walk up to the edge of the stage:: "The first one is 'World's worst books.' Anytime you're ready, guys!"

Guys: ::take a moment to think::

Yusuke: ::steps forward, grinning:: "I got one--'Genkai's Training Manuel'."

Genkai: ::from somewhere in the audience:: "I'll be seeing you after the show AGAIN, Dim-wit!"

Yusuke: ::as Oni presses the buzzer:: "Damn!" ::walks out of the spotlight::

Kuwabara: ::steps up, snickering:: "'How To Treat Your Girlfriend, by Yusuke Urameshi'."

Yusuke: "HEY!" ::jumps over to Kuwabara and grabs him by the shirt collar:: "Why I oughtta..."

Oni: "Break it up! We have no time for this!" ::presses buzzer, and the two boys reluctantly retreat::

Kurama: ::steps forward:: "I believe I've thought of something. 'The Idiot's Guide To Preparing
Canned Soup.'

Kurama's Fangirls: ::all start roaring with laughter, even though they really didn't think it was funny:: "WE LOVE YOU KURAMA!"

Oni: ::hits the buzzer:: "Eh, I've heard better. Next!"

Yusuke: ::pushes the short demon:: "Go on Hiei, it's your turn!"

Hiei: ::glares at Yusuke:: "Hn. Any one of those foolish ningen books."

Oni: ::yawns and presses the buzzer::

Yusuke: ::steps forward:: "I got a good one! 'How To Make Friends by Hiei Jaganshi'!" ::begins to laugh uncontrollably while receiving a death glare from Hiei::

Oni: "Somebody's having too much fun..." ::presses buzzer:: "Ok, new one: 'World's worst person to be stuck on a deserted island in the middle of the ocean with!' Go!"

Hiei: ::surprises everyone by stepping forward:: "Hello, my name is Kuwabara."

Kuwabara: "HEY! YOU LITTLE SHRIMP, THAT ISN'T FUNNY AT ALL!"

Fans: ::are all laughing hysterically::

Kuwabara: ::fuming:: ::steps forward:: "Hn, my name is Hiei, hn, I hate everything. Hn, you better stay out of my way, hn. Hn, baka ningen. Hn, hn, hn."

Oni: ::laughing:: ::presses the buzzer twice to make up for missing it the first time::

Kurama: ::steps up with a sly grin:: "Hi, I'm Oni!"

Oni: ::slams fist onto the buzzer, almost breaking it:: "Watch it, you! Not funny! I'll get you for that!"

Kurama: ::walks back to where he was standing, still grinning::

Oni: "Alright, next game! This one's called 'Scenes From A Hat'. You guys will love it!" ::takes a hat from underneath the desk:: ::randomly picks a piece of paper from the hat:: "The first one is 'Things you never want to hear a doctor say'."

Kuwabara: ::steps up and pretends to be operating:: ::stops suddenly:: "Oops."

Oni: ::presses buzzer as audience laughs::

Hiei: ::reluctantly steps forward:: ::pretends to be talking to a patient:: "Hn. I'd operate, but the chances of you dying won't decrease. Why don't I just kill you and get it over with?"

Audience: O.O;;

Oni: ::sarcastically:: "Hiei, you're too kind." ::presses buzzer::

Yusuke: ::steps up and pretends to be operating on a patient:: "Don't worry, miss, I can save you." ::his eyes start to wander:: "Heeyyyy, nice--"

Oni: ::quickly presses buzzer before he can finish:: "Ok we get it, no need to say more!"

Kayko: ::marches onto the stage, looking none too pleased:: "YUSUKE YOU PERVERT!" ::slaps him repeatedly across the face until he is nearly unconscious, then stomps back to wherever she came from::

Yusuke: @.@ "Uhhhhh..." ::falls onto the floor::

Oni: "Next one!"

Kurama: "But I never got to--"

Oni: "Oh, nobody wants to hear it, bro."

Kurama's Fangirls: "WE WANT TO HEAR IT!! WE LOVE YOU KURAMA!! YOU'RE THE GREATEST, SEXIEST, HOTTEST DEMON ALIVE!!" ::about half of them swoon::

Oni: -_- "...As I was saying, let's go on." ::much to her brother's dismay, she picks another paper from the hat and reads it out loud:: "'Things walls would say if they could talk'."

Yusuke: ::steps forward:: "God I wish I hadn't seen that..."

Kuwabara: "Clean me."

Kurama: "He's cheating on you, you know."

Hiei: "Hn. Die."

Hiei's Fangirls: "AAAAHHHH!! HE SAID 'HN' AGAIN! AAHHHHH!!" ::all faint::

Oni: ::presses buzzer::"I think it's time for the next--and last--game. It's called 'Hoe Down'. Sounds fun, doesn't it? This is where all four of you guys get to sing!"

Guys: ::groan::

Oni: "Oh come on, it'll be great! Hey audience, what should they sing about?" ::turns around to face the audience::

Random Fan 1: "Socks!"

Oni: "Boring! Something better!"

Hiei's Fangirls: "HIEI!"

Kurama's Fangirls: "KURAMA!"

Oni: "NO!"

Random Fan 2: "FUNimation!"

Oni: ::starts laughing:: "Perfect! Ok guys, you'll be singing about FUNimation!"

Guys: ::all sigh heavily and stand in a line. From left to right--Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama and Hiei::

::The theme for the original Hoe Downs on 'Whose Line' starts to play and Yusuke reluctantly begins to sing::

Yusuke: "I hate FUNimation, I think it really sucks.

In my opinion, it's just a waste of bucks.

But even though they censor it every time I cuss,

They make Kuwabara seem like a really big wuss!" ::smirks, proud of himself:: "Top that, guys!"

Oni: ::muttering:: "That didn't even make sense..."

Kuwabara: ::glares at Yusuke:: "That really sucked, Urameshi! MY song is gonna beat the heck outta yours!" ::clears his throat::

"I had an awful nightmare just the night before.

It was the sickest ever, it was even worse than gore.

I woke up in a cold sweat and realized the situation--

I'd just had a dream that our show was dubbed by FUNimation!"

Oni: "Wow, that was a good one, especially coming from you Kuwabara." ^_~

Kuwabara: ^__^ "Thanks!"

Kurama: "Well, I believe it is my turn now." ::takes a deep breath and prepares to sing::

"What FUNimation does, I really do not mind,

Since, after all, I am really rather kind.

But one thing that I absolutely cannot stand

Is when others mistake me for a girl or a gay man."

Hiei: ::is thinking, 'I cannot believe I'm actually going to participate in this ridiculous ningen game':: ::steps forward slowly and begins to sing::

"I hate these foolish ningens, they really make me ill.

There is not one of them I would hesitate to kill.

I don't give a *censored* about this 'FUNimation' stuff,

But cross Hiei Jaganshi and I'll rip your head right off."

All: ::singing:: "Rip your head right oooo~oooff!"

Audience: O.O;; ::a few seconds of awkward silence go by, then they begin cheering wildly::

Oni: "See, that wasn't so bad! I think you even kind of liked it, Hiei."

Hiei: "Hn. Whose idea was this? I'll kill them!" ::stalks off the stage, thinking of the best ways to have the writer annihilated::

Kuwabara: "Now that this is over, I have to make a very important phone call! I'll be back in after the commercial break!" ::runs off stage::

Yusuke: ::rolls his eyes:: "Take your time."

Kurama: "During the commercials, we will be fixing the stage back to the way it usually is, so...well, I certainly hope the commercials are entertaining!"

*****BEGIN COMMERCIAL BREAK*****

--Commercial 1:--

::Yusuke is shown holding an orange can of soda::

Yusuke: "Wow. What would life be like without Dr Salt?" ::smiles cheesily and takes a long swig from the can:: "Ah! Now THAT'S refreshing!"

Hiei: ::walks up behind Yusuke:: "Why hello there. I see you are drinking 'Dr Salt', Yusuke. How
about letting me have some of that heavenly, caffeinated goodness?" ::makes a feeble attempt at
taking the can from Yusuke::

Yusuke: ::moves away from Hiei:: "No way, man. Get your own can; Dr Salt is too good to give up!"

Hiei: ::in an emotionless, unenthusiastic tone:: "Aw shucks." ::shuffles off::

Yusuke: ::holds up the soda can:: "Dr Salt--it makes life interesting!" ::picture fades::

--Commercial 2:--

::A book is shown in the middle of the television screen, and a stereotypical infomercial tune plays in the background. Another image shows a close-up of Kurama's grinning face::

Kurama: "I was a hopeless case. I felt like there was just no place for me in this world...but then I read 'Chicken Soup For The Demon Soul'. The inspirational stories of demons who have overcome difficult obstacles in life influenced me to do what no other demon dared to do--to pursue my dream of becoming a figure skater!" ::camera zooms out to show Kurama dressed in a pink tu-tu and white ice-skates::

::Next, Hiei is shown sitting in a chair in the dark::

Hiei: "I was ready to commit suicide. I felt like my life had no meaning at all. After reading
'Chicken Soup For The Demon Soul', everything changed. I realized that there was still hope for me. There was a way for me to give back to the community..." ::a light fills up the room and shows about twenty little children laughing and playing around the fire demon:: "...as an assistant to a Kindergarten teacher."

::Next, Kuwabara is shown in the middle of the television screen, looking confused::

Kuwabara: "Well I'm certainly no demon, but, uh, I read the book and I thought it was really great!" ::flashes a phony grin and shows the peace sign::

::All three guys are shown next, waving and grinning at the camera, each holding their own copy of 'Chicken Soup For The Demon Soul'::

All: "Own your own copy today! Now for the low, low price of $742.99!"

*****END COMMERCIAL BREAK*****

::The stage is now back to normal, and Kurama, Yusuke, Hiei and Oni are all sitting in the crimson-colored chairs::

Yusuke: ::puts down the can of Dr Salt he was drinking:: "Hey everyone, we're back! Did you like
the commercials? Pfft, I didn't! Are you kidding me, I had to stand there smiling like an idiot,
pretending to love the stupid soda and reading words off fricking signs! And I'm not even getting paid for it!" ::grumbles and crosses his arms::

Kurama: "Well I'm very sorry to hear that Yusuke, but we are on a budget after all. It would seem that we need sponsors to keep our show on the air, hence the commercials."

Hiei: "Hn!" ::is embarrassed and ashamed of the parts he had to play::

Kuwabara: ::comes running back onto the stage smiling:: "Whoo!" ::spins around and flops happily
into the last chair::

Yusuke: "What's up with you?"

Kuwabara: ^____^ "My love is coming to visit me! At last, we will finally meet!" ::he gets a dreamy look on his face, and hearts appear in his eyes::

Oni: "Oh boy." ::turns to look at Kurama:: "Well, what are we doing next?"

Kurama: ^_^; "I wasn't aware that I was the one in charge of organizing everything for the show... We do have the Extra Special Guest to speak with, however I don't believe he has arrived yet. In the meantime, I suppose we could begin to answer the fan-mail."

Oni: "Okay, I'll bring in all the mail!" ::jumps out of the chair and runs off stage:: ::a second later she comes back, pushing a large cart:: "Hope you guys don't mind, but I don't think I'm going to bring in ALL the mail after all... Did you know that they're using an entire room just for a place to store the fan-mail? There are stacks piled to the ceiling in there!"

All: O.O

Kurama: "Well, dear sister, would you like to read the first letter?"

Oni: "Sure." ::picks a letter randomly from the cart:: "Ok here goes: 'Dear Kurama; Hi! I absolutely love that crimson hair of yours! Oh, and can I um ask if you uh want to go to a movie with me? Like "Pirates of the Caribbean" or some other movie? Love, Ginsei Kitsune.'"

Kurama: ^_^ "Thank you very much for the compliment. I recall that you were the young woman who asked me to smile and wave to you, correct?" ::blushes faintly:: "I would very much like to
attend a movie with you sometime."

Oni: ::laughs:: "Heeyyy, he's blushing!"

Yusuke: "Kurama, I knew you were a fox, but I didn't know you were a dog too!"

Kuwabara: "Look you guys, we're embarrassing him!"

Kurama: ::flushes redder:: "That is enough, please. Would you just read the next letter now, Oni?"

Oni: "Oh alright." ::chooses another letter:: "This one's from Hikari() 'Sure, Hiei, I like 'sweet snow' as well, I'll be glad to get you some. Either we can train in the Makai or you pick a place, I don't care. I will no longet as questions to Hiei. It seems to make him uncomfortable. But Kurama, are you ever going to come back to the Makai? And do you miss Kuronue?'" ::puts letter down:: "0...Uh-oh, she said the K-word..."

Kurama: "No, it's alright. I do miss Kuronue very much. He was a great friend and I will never
forget him. As for your other question, someday I may return to the Makai, but for now I am
choosing to remain with my mother in the human world."

Hiei: ::drools, thinking about sweet snow:: "I'll meet you by my tree on Thursday. Bring lots of
sweet snow and I will train you until you can barely stand." ::goes off into La-La Land again, where the only food that exists is cold, chock full of sugary-sweet goodness, and melts in your mouth::

Yusuke: "I'll do the next letter." ::grabs one from the pile:: "Ok, this is from Hiei's new best friend who he just had to go on a killing spree with last week: 'Can we do it again sometime? ...Like maybe we could go hunting for the remaining humans, like Kuwabara, some demons in Spirit World, and everything in between. "He is the Forbidden Child, praise him, and be spared." Sincerely, The Deadly Evilness that is Juu-Kun.'" ::puts letter down:: "...Whoa, better watch out for you guys!"

Hiei: ::has snapped out of his daze to listen to the letter:: "Hn. Yes, I agree. I'll meet you right after this foolish ningen talk show is over."

Yusuke: "Aww, Hiei, it's not a talk show, it's...um...it's a show where we...um...do things."

Oni: ::sarcastically:: "Nice explanation, Yusuke, I bet you really cleared things up for him."

Kuwabara: "I'll read the next letter, guys." ::picks out a letter:: "This is from Spirit Angel: 'I HAVE A QUESTION FOR THE GUYS! Kurama--Will you go out with me? I have blue eyes and long
purple hair, I'm really nice and kind and I love plants. I'm also a wolf demon, so would you?
Yusuke--Do you know your a demon too? Kuwabara--Do you live with only your sister, or do you
have parents? (by the way, I think your Spirit Sword is cool) Hiei--When are you going to tell your sister that your her brother?'" ::puts letter down, confused:: "...Hey, who's Hiei's sister?"

Oni: "You mean you don't know? EVERYBODY knows that! His sister is Yu--" ::stops, receiving a
death glare from Hiei and a mental image that wasn't pretty via his telepathy:: "--You...you don't need to know, it's not important."

Kurama: ::thinking, 'Why, if I had a dime for every time a girl asked me out...':: "You sound like a very nice person, and I would really enjoy getting to know you better..." ^_^;; "However I do have so many dates to go on, so I am not certain when we will be able to go out..." ::begins to look through a black date-book [AN: Ha ha, get it? ...Just a bit of author humor, sorry *ducks tomato*], where he has marked up nearly every one of the boxes for each day of the month:: "Well I seem to have an opening in January if it's alright with you..."

Yusuke: "Man, I wish I had his problem!"

Kayko: "YUSUKE YOU JERK!" ::stomps onto stage and slaps him senseless again::

Yusuke: @.@ ::falls to the floor again:: ::twitches::

Kuwabara: ::glances down at Yusuke:: "Urameshi seems to be indisposed at the moment. I'll answer
for him! Yes, he knows he's a demon too. And he doesn't ever let me forget it either." ::kicks
Yusuke, playfully, while he's laying on the floor:: "Oh yeah, as for the question for me, I just live with my sister Shizuru. She's worse than parents anyway. [AN: I'm just assuming, since we never see his parents or hear about them. If I'm wrong, just tell me] And thanks, I knew my Spirit Sword was cool!"

Hiei: "Hn. I'm never telling her. She's better off not knowing."

Kuwabara: "Oni, tell me who his sister is! Come on!"

Oni: "What sister? He doesn't have a sister. What's a sister?"

Kuwabara: "You guys must think I'm stupid or something." ::crosses his arms and grumbles about
people thinking he's stupid::

Kurama: "I'll read the next letter." ::selects a letter from the pile that doesn't seem to be shrinking:: "This is from Madame Arrow Foxfire, who writes; 'YAY! I'm a Yukina fangirl...Anyway, is she really that naive, or is she just like that about love, since she grew up on the floating isle of the Koorime? Anyway, it would be interesting for her to freeze Kazuma, hm?'"

Kuwabara: "NO WAY! I don't wanna be frozen!" ::laughs nervously:: "Yukina's my friend, she
wouldn't do that...would she?"

Yusuke: "Oh yeah. She's really that naive. I can vouch for that."

Kurama: "As can I." ::glances apologetically to Hiei::

Hiei: ::growls:: "Hn. Why are you looking at me like that has something to do with me? You know
very well that it doesn't, Kurama."

Kurama: "Right, Hiei." ::notices that a two fans in the audience have their hands in the air:: "Yes, do you have a question?"

::The two fans stand up and one starts talking::

Fan 1: ::points to herself and her friend:: "I'm Flora, and this is Jay. We have a bet to settle..."

Jay: "Who's hotter? Youko Kurama or--"

Flora: "KURAMA!"

Jay: ::glares at Flora:: "YOUKO!"

Flora: ::glares at Jay:: "KURAMA!"

Jay: "YOUKO DAMN YOU!"

Kurama: O.O;;;

Half Of Kurama's Fangirls: "KURAMA IS HOTTER!"

Other Half Of Kurama's Fangirls: "NOOOOO! YOUKO IS HOTTER!"

Kurama's Fangirls: "NOOOOO! KURAMA IS WAY HOTTER!"

Youko's Fangirls: "NO! YOUKO!"

Kurama's Fangirls: "KURAMA KURAMA KURAMA!"

Youko's Fangirls: "YOUKO YOUKO YOUKO!"

Kurama's Fangirls: ::glare at the Youko Fangirls:: "GRRRR!!"

Youko's Fangirls: ::glare at the Kurama Fangirls:: "GRRRR!!!"

::Before any of the guys or Oni can react, two large groups form in the audience, and all the fangirls pounce on each other::

Yusuke: "OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD! It's a fangirl war! RUN!!" ::starts to run for his life, but Oni grabs onto his wrist:: "Hey! LET ME GO!"

Oni: "No way! If we have to suffer through this, then so do you!"

Yusuke: ::pouts:: ::grumbles about how he doesn't care to watch a bunch of girls fighting over Kurama::

Kuwabara: ::has a big tub of popcorn and is enjoying the show:: "This should be interesting..."

Hiei: "Hn. They're killing themselves over that baka kitsune." ::smirks::

Kurama: O.O;;;

Oni: "What's the matter, Kurama?" ::hugs him:: "They all love you! ...But maybe somebody should
put a stop to this..."

::Suddenly a strange voice is heard from outside the building::

Strange Voice: "FINAL FLASH!!" ::one entire wall is blown apart, and the fighting fangirls are all incinerated as well::

All: O.O "WHAT THE...?"

::The outline of a certain short, spiky-haired warrior is seen through the dust, and when the dust clears, the Saiyan Prince is smirking with his arms crossed::

Vegeta: "Hmph. I thought I'd make my own entrance, and it looks like there's been a bit of collateral damage as well. So what is it that you fools wish to talk to the great Prince Vegeta about?"

Kurama: "........"

Vegeta: "WELL ARE YOU GOING TO JUST GAWK AT ME OR AM I GOING TO GET AN ANSWER!?"

Kurama: "A-hem... Please come in, Vegeta."

Yusuke: "Talk about a grand entrance..."

Hiei: "Hn. Just like a baka ningen to make a scene." ::glares at Vegeta and his gravity-defying hair that looks quite similar to his own:: ::growls::

Vegeta: ::glares daggers at Hiei:: "How DARE you compare me to those human fools!" ::using his
saiyan speed, he has Hiei by the cloak in half a second and is leaning into the fire demon's face, snarling menacingly:: "I am Vegeta, Prince of all Saiyans!"

Hiei: ::using his own super speed, he slips out of his cloak and pops up behind Vegeta::

Hiei's Fangirls: "OOOOHHHHH!!! SO SEXY!!" ::faint::

Hiei: ::draws his katana and prepares to strike the saiyan with it, hoping the blow would be fatal:: "DIE!" ::he is about to swing the sword when he is interrupted by somebody's voice::

Somebody's Voice: "STOP!"

Hiei: ::turns around:: "Hn?"

All: "Hn?"

::Everyone turns to stare at the young woman who was now standing in the spot where Vegeta had
blown a hole in the wall--dressed in a uniform colored purple--her long, medium-brown, curly hair blowing gently in the light breeze. She stares back at them with her big green eyes...then her gaze shifts to one person in particular::

Kuwabara: ::jumps to his feet:: "She's here! My love has arrived at last!" ::he runs up to the strange new person and takes her by the hand:: "Everybody, meet Jesscheaux!"

Jesscheaux: ::takes a bow:: "Hi everybody!"

Audience (what's left of them): ::although somewhat confused, they clap anyway::

Kuwabara: ^____^ "Come on in, Jesscheaux, you have to meet everyone else!" ::they walk up to the
stage together, where the others are sitting:: "I'm sure you already know who they are."

Jesscheaux: ::grins:: "I sure do!" ::her eyes travel to Hiei, and immediately narrow at the sight of him:: "YOU!"

Hiei: "Hn?" ::gazes up at her, a bored look plastered on his face::

Jesscheaux: "Don't think I don't know about all the mean things you said about my Kuwabara! YOU
JERK! Why I oughtta..." ::suddenly her eyes fall upon the Saiyan Prince, who is currently sitting in the chair with his arms crossed, scowling:: "Vegeta? ...OMG VEGETA!"

Vegeta: "Yes, what is it?"

Jesscheaux: "Veg-man! You're SO COOL!"

Kuwabara: ?

Vegeta: "Of course I am, foolish human! I'm the Prince of all Saiyans!"

Kuwabara: "Hey! Watch who you're calling a foolish human, you punk!"

Vegeta: ::glares at Kuwabara:: ::raises a hand:: "I think I'll just kill you now. FINAL FLA--"

Jesscheaux: "HEY! NO FINAL FLASHING KUWABARA!" ::grabs onto Kuwabara's arm protectively::

Kuwabara: ::gazes lovingly down at Jesscheaux:: "Thanks, sweetie!" ::blushes::

Jesscheaux: ::blushes:: "Anytime, Kazuma!"

Kurama: "Well, we''ll be back with more fan-mail right after the commercial break, so do stay
tuned!"

*****BEGIN COMMERCIAL BREAK*****

--Commercial 1:--

::The camera focuses in on a very large bald man wearing grease-stained jeans and a plaid shirt. A series of clips of the bald man repairing automobiles plays, while an announcer guy talks in the background::

Announcer Guy: "Are you sick and tired of the same old businesses ripping you off? Well, here at
Nappa Auto Parts, we will make sure that you're treated fairly and are not overcharged."

Nappa: ::turns around and smiles cheesily at the camera:: "That's right, because Nappa cares about his customers, and I guarantee that after just one visit to Nappa Auto Parts, you'll keep coming back for more!"

Announcer Guy: "That's Nappa Auto Parts--the best little auto shop in the world!"

--Commercial 2:--

::The screen is completely black, and then white letters begin to spell words across the screen::

"Sometimes we all feel like killing somebody..."

"This feeling is normal..."

"But..."

"Why kill somebody yourself, when..."

"For just a small fee..."

"Hiei The Hitman can do the job for you."

Hiei: ::is shown with his katana on the blank screen:: ::licks the blade and glares at the camera:: "I like to kill."

::The image of Hiei disappears and the words reappear::

"Hiei The Hitman--killing off annoyance one human at a time. Payment is accepted in the form of
ice cream."

******END COMMERCIAL BREAK*****

::Everyone is sitting in the chairs on the stage, from left to right, Oni, Kurama, Yusuke, Hiei,
Vegeta, Jesscheaux, and Kuwabara::

Vegeta: O.o "Was--was that NAPPA?? Unbelievable! That fool has actually got a job!"

Hiei: ::glares at Vegeta:: "Hn."

Vegeta: ::glares back at Hiei:: "Hmph!" ::crosses his arms:: "Would you like a piece of me, short stuff?"

Hiei: "Who are you calling 'short stuff'? I think maybe I should tear you limb from limb as slowly and painfully as possible."

Vegeta: ::jumps to his feet:: "BRING IT ON, YOU PATHETIC HAIRSTYLE-STEALING FOOL!"

Hiei: "Hn. You incompetent! You actually think you can beat me in a fight?"

Vegeta: "I DON'T THINK, I KNOW, YOU WORTHLESS NINGEN!"

Hiei: ::jumps to his feet as well:: "Do NOT insult me, you baka, if you can't tell that I'm a fire demon then you're a bigger fool than I thought!"

Kurama: "That's enough, both of you!"

Hiei: ::sits down reluctantly:: "Hn!"

Vegeta: ::glares at Kurama:: "And just who do you think YOU are? Nobody can tell the Prince of
all Saiyans what to do!"

Hiei: "You arrogant fool! Are you TRYING to get yourself killed?"

Yusuke: "Yeah Vegeta, a word of advice--do NOT get on Kurama's bad side. Meeting Youko Kurama is the LAST thing you wanna do, trust me."

Oni: "I second that."

Kuwabara: "Yeah, me too."

Vegeta: "Hmph!" ::he sits back down in his chair and stubbornly crosses his arms::

Kurama: "Well, Jesscheaux, would you care to read the next fan letter?"

Jesscheaux: "I'd be happy to!" ::reaches for a letter from the pile in the cart that still wasn't showing any signs of getting smaller:: "This one's from Tessajalynn Cilory, who writes; 'Hiei...you know I love it when you say 'hn'...but isn't it getting kinda old?? I mean just saying it to spite people. Yusuke...you do know that you look a hell of a lot cuter without all that gel...don't you? Kurama...my best friend Sabelle wants to know...will you at least go on a date with her and get to know her. Kuwabara....DIE YOU STUPID NINGEN...not that I'm not....I HATE YOU...EVERYONE IN MY TOWN HATE'S YOU!! *feels better* Ok... All...my advice...if you
ever want to bring Yukina back...don't bring the Baka...because doubtless he wil say that he is in love with Yukina again. Vegeta.....please kill Carrot...Kakarot. Anyway...thanx....oh and Death to all the other Hiei fan girls!! I am one also...though not rabid....'" ::puts down the letter:: "...GRRR, KUWABARA'S NOT A STUPID NINGEN!"

Kuwabara: "It's okay, Jesscheaux. As long as I have you, nothing else matters!"

Jesscheaux: "Thanks, Kuwa-kun!"

Kuwabara: ::blush blush:: ^________^

Yusuke: "Okay, before I start hurling, let's answer the questions!"

Hiei: "Hn."

Yusuke: "Really?" ::reaches up and messes up his hair so that his bangs are now hanging in his
face:: "I wish somebody would've told me that sooner!" ::grins::

Kurama: "Of course I would be happy to oblige by going on a date with your friend...however I
won't be available until sometime in January..." ::sighs, wishing that he didn't have so many rabid fangirls to deal with first::

Kuwabara: "Why does it seem like everybody hates me?" ::pouts a little::

Jesscheaux: "I don't hate you, my sweet Kazuma, I love you!" ::hugs him::

Kuwabara: ::feels better:: "To answer the letter, Yukina is in my past--I love only one woman now, and she's sitting beside me!" ^___^ ::reaches over and takes Jesscheaux's hand::

Jesscheaux: ^___^

Vegeta: "Oh don't worry, I'm GOING to kill that baka Kakarot if it's the last thing I ever do!"

Bulma: ::from somewhere in the audience:: "VEGETA! YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING, DO YOU HEAR ME?!"

Vegeta: ::is annoyed:: "WILL YOU QUIT STALKING ME WOMAN?!"

Hiei: ::smirks:: "Hn! How can the Prince of all Saiyans be so easily dominated by a such a weak
human woman?"

Yusuke: "HA HA HA! I guess we know who wears the pants in that relationship!"

Kayko: "YUSUKE YOU SEXIST JERK!!" ::stomps onto stage and slaps him senseless yet again::

Yusuke: @.@

Vegeta: ::sneers down at Yusuke:: "HA HA HA HA HA HA! FOOL!"

Bulma: "THAT'S IT VEGETA, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A SERIOUS TALK WHEN YOU GET HOME!" ::leaves::

Vegeta: "Grrrrr...WOMAN! YOU CAN'T BOSS AROUND THE GREAT PRINCE VEGETA!" ::huffs and crosses his arms::

Hiei: ::looking smug:: "Hn. Pathetic."

Vegeta: ::aims a death glare at Hiei:: "Mark my words, little demon, I WILL destroy you!"

Hiei: "Go ahead and try, you brainless monkey!" ::his Jagan eye glows beneath the headband::

Vegeta: O.O "What's this?"

Hiei: ::reaches up and rips off the bandana, exposing the Jagan:: "Let's see if your mind is weak enough to be controlled!"

Vegeta: ::not to be out-done, he immediately powers up to SSJ:: "WHY YOU LITTLE... I'LL TEACH YOU TO RESPECT THE SAIYAN PRINCE!"

Hiei: ::witnesses the transformation:: "Hn? ...Impressive power. Too bad you have to die, you
Saiyan scum!"

::They are about to attack each other when suddenly the buzzer goes off, signaling the end of the show::

Yusuke: "Talk about being saved by the bell..."

Oni: "Tell me about it!"

Kurama: ::glad that he didn't have to go Youko on their asses:: "Well, that's the end of today's show, sadly."

Oni: "But we'll be back again soon, and I'll have some killer stories about Kurama! You know, the embarrassing kind!"

Kurama: "She most certainly will NOT!"

Yusuke: ::showing off his hair:: "Are the fangirls watching me? HEY! I LOOK SEXY NOW, HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT HUH?"

Kuwabara: "Man, he really wants fangirls! Too bad he won't listen to me, I told him to be patient and just be happy with whatever he gets. Look how lucky I am, and that's exactly what I did! Now I have the most wonderful girlfriend a guy could ask for!" ^___^

Jesscheaux: "Aww, that's so sweet, Kazuma! You're the greatest!" ::leans over and kisses him on the cheek::

Kuwabara: ::blushes red as a traffic light:: ^___________^

Oni: ::makes a gagging motion:: "Well that's all the time we have for today! See ya next time on..."

All (except Hiei and Vegeta, who are sulking with their backs to each other): "...The Hiei And
Kurama Show!" ::wave goodbye until the camera shuts off, while the ending theme music plays and the credits roll::

_________________________________________________________________________

Jesscheax: ::watches replay:: ::sees Hiei insult her Kuwabara:: ::turns to Hiei, shaking a fist:: "How DARE you talk to my Kuwa that way, you baka! You're just jealous because he's so much better than you AND YOU KNOW IT!"

Hiei: ::glances at her out of the corner of his eye and crosses his arms:: "Hn."

Kuwabara: ::has hearts in his eyes:: "She's so great..." ::turns to Jesscheaux and takes her hand:: "Would you like to go see a movie and then have dinner with me?"

Jesscheaux: ^____^ "I'd love to, Kazuma!"

Kuwabara: ^____^ "Great! Then we can go play with Eikichi after that! I can't wait to introduce
you two!"

Oni: ::watching them:: "Wow...oh well, time for some good old fashioned Sake!" ::pulls a bottle out from behind her back::

Kurama: O.O "How did you get that?!" ::grabs it from her::

Oni: "Heeeyyyyy!"

Kurama: ::in the tone of a protective older brother:: "You really shouldn't have that."

Oni: "You'll pay." ::walks off, mumbling under her breath a plot for revenge on him, just like any sister would...well, almost::

Kurama: ::watches her go:: ::sweatdrop:: "Yes, I'm sure I will..."

Hiei: ::impatiently waiting to go so he can meet up with Juu-Kun again:: "Hn. Are we finished with this nonsense?"

Yusuke: "Yep, we're done."

Hiei: "Hn." ::says 'Hn' yet again to spite any and all fans who hate 'Hn':: ::leaves without another word::

Kurama: ::turns to Jesscheax:: "Would you like to do the honors?"

Jesscheaux: "Sure! Next time on 'The Hiei And Kurama Show,' which, by the way, should be called
'The Kuwabara Show--'" ::peace sign:: ^_~ "--the special guest is going to be that spoiled brat
Koenma! So make sure you tune in next week to watch the show!"

Yusuke: "Alright you loyal fans, you--let us know what you think, and by that I mean reviews,
so...REVIEW!" ::sips some Dr Salt:: "Ah! Refreshing!"

Kuwabara: "Let's go, my love!" ::takes Jesscheaux's hand and they run off together::

Announcer Guy: "The Hiei And Kurama Show is brought to you by Dr Salt, Nappa Auto Parts, and Chicken Soup For The Demon Soul."

The Hiei & Kurama Show

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 22:53:52 GMT

The Hiei & Kurama Show

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 21:38:48 GMT

The Hiei & Kurama Show

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 17:56:33 GMT

~The Hiei and Kurama Show~
--With your hosts, Hiei and Kurama
________________________________________________________________________

Scene: Your average-looking stage; dark blue background colors, a huge television screen mounted high on the wall, four or five crimson-colored chairs lined up in front of it, a mahogany table with a vase full of roses set up in front of the chairs, and black curtains separating this area from backstage.
________________________________________________________________________

::Theme music plays and the camera zooms in on Kurama as he walks out on stage with Yusuke, while Hiei slowly and reluctantly shuffles behind them::

Kurama: ::sitting down on one of the chairs and smiling at the camera:: "Hello everyone. Welcome
to The Hiei and Kurama Show. We've got some good news for you loyal fans."

Yusuke: ::showing peace sign:: "Yeah that's right!"

Kurama: "After Hiei killed all of our audience members during the last show, we thought that we
would never get to show our faces on television ever again. However, we were able to work out a deal with the FBI and now we get to tape our show in a private studio."

Yusuke: "Right, which means no crazed fangirls to drive Hiei mad. How about that, Hiei?"

Hiei: "Hn." ::is still saying 'Hn' to spite the fan::

Kurama: "Well anyway, we've got quite a bit to do today, so shall we get started?"

Yusuke: ::shrugs:: "Ready when you are."

Kurama: ^_^ "Alright then. Now normally we'd use this time to take questions from the audience,
but since there is no longer an audience, I thought that we might do something fun to entertain the fans at home."

Yusuke: ::showing a broad and completely fake grin:: "So tell us your idea, Kurama."

Hiei: ::sarcastically:: "Yes, we're just dying to know."

Kurama: "Karaoke!"

Yusuke and Hiei: O.O ::both face-fault::

Hiei: "Whose idiotic idea was this?"

Kurama: ::looking puzzled:: "...Wasn't it yours, Hiei?"

Hiei: "Hn. I don't recall ever suggesting anything remotely similar to that."

Yusuke: "Of course you don't, you were drunk and sugar-high on Sweet Snow."

Hiei: ::remembers that delicious Sweet Snow:: ::wishes he had some now:: ::wishes he wasn't on
this dumb show::

Kurama: "So if you don't like the Karaoke idea, then what do you suggest Hiei?"

Hiei: "Do you even want to know?"

Kurama: "Erm...maybe not. Yusuke, any ideas?"

Yusuke: ::staring blankly ahead:: "...Uhhh... What was the question?"

Kurama: ::sighs:: "Well I have an idea. Let's just skip the to the Special Guest."

Yusuke: "Sounds good to me! Bring out Kuwabara, I still haven't beat his face in for listening to me in the shower." ::smacks right fist into left palm::

Kurama: ^_^; "...Come on out, Kuwabara."

Kuwabara: ::walks out thinking like he's the man:: "Hey every--" ::notices the absence of an
audience:: "Hey wait a sec, aren't there supposed to be people here? This IS a TV show, right?"

Kurama: "Yes, Kuwabara. Unfortunately, due to a little mishap, we're not allowed to have a live
audience any more."

Yusuke: "But we DO get to use this nifty little laugh track!" ::presses Laugh Track button::

::Laugh Track (a recording of an audience laughing)::

Kuwabara: "Oh." ::looks disappointed:: "Now I won't get to meet my fans!"

Hiei: "Even if there was an audience it wouldn't make a difference."

Kuwabara: "You shut your mouth, Shorty!"

Yusuke: ::presses Laugh Track button::

::Laugh Track::

Hiei: "That wasn't even remotely amusing."

Yusuke: "So?" ::presses Laugh Track button again::

::Laugh Track::

Kurama: "Well, Kuwabara, would you like to have a seat?"

Kuwabara: ::sits down beside Kurama:: "Sure, thanks."

Yusuke: ::takes a seat beside Kuwabara:: "So Kuwabara, tell us--what's it like?"

Kuwabara: ::scratches his head:: "What do you mean?"

Yusuke: ::presses Laugh Track button::

::Laugh Track::

Hiei: "That's getting annoying."

Kurama: "Kuwabara, we're going to ask you some questions, alright?"

Kuwabara: "Sure!"

Yusuke: "What's 2 plus 2?"

Kuwabara: "Well--"

Hiei: "What does the word 'incompetent' mean?"

Kuwabara: "Um--"

Yusuke: "What's the meaning of life?"

Kuwabara: "I--"

Hiei: "When the wind blows, can you feel your brain rattling around inside your head?"

Kuwabara: "I don't--" ::suddenly he realizes why they're asking him these questions:: "Hey! I'm not a moron just because I don't know all the answers to those stupid questions!"

Yusuke: "Of course not." ::presses Laugh Track button::

::Laugh Track::

Kurama: O.O; "Maybe we should get right to the fan mail..."

Yusuke: "Good idea!"

Kurama: ::calling backstage:: "May we have the fan mail, please?"

Backstage Crew Member: "Sure Kurama!" ::wheels out a large cart overflowing with mail:: "This is
from this morning."

All: O.O

Kurama: ::picks up a letter and opens it:: "Time to answer questions. This one is from Zea. She
writes: 'Dear Hiei; Will you marry me?! I'm a demon! ^^'" ::puts letter down and looks at Hiei::
"Well?"

Yusuke: "Go Hiei!"

Hiei: ::glares at Yusuke, then looks at the camera:: "Hn. I don't even know you. How can I marry
somebody I don't know?"

Yusuke: "Easy, you just say yes. It's that simple." ::looks at the camera:: "I'll marry you if he doesn't want to!"

Kayko: ::from somewhere:: "YUSUKE YOU JERK!!" ::marches out on stage to slap him repeatedly, then goes back to wherever she came from::

Yusuke: @.@ "...Uhhhhh...what just happened? ...Hi mom... I like canned bread." ::collapses::

Kurama: O_O;; "We'll go on to the next question." ::picks out another letter from the monstrous
pile and opens it:: "It's from Baka No Hanyou, who writes: 'Are you guys friends with any other
anime characters, like Vash the Stampede, Inu-yasha, Yami (Yugi) Kenshin, ect.?'" ::looks at the
others:: "Why don't you three go first?"

Yusuke: "Okay. What was the question again?" ::presses Laugh Track button::

::Laugh Track::

Yusuke: "Just kidding. Anyway, I talked to Sano from Rurouni Kenshin once. He's cool. And I also
played cards with Yugi, but I lost." ::looks sad::

Kuwabara: "I played cards with Yugi once, too! He beat me, I think he cheated..." ::grumbles about little kids being better than him::

Kurama: "And what about you, Hiei?"

Hiei: ::smirks:: "I've killed a few baka humans with Vegeta from Dragonball Z."

Kurama: O.o "...As for me, I do know Inu-yasha; I met him at a shopping mall once. We e-mail
each other frequently. Kenshin is a very kind person, and we have become quite good friends as
well."

Yusuke: "Okay, on to the next question!" ::picks out a random letter and reads it:: "This is from kitsune-of-darkness-flame, who writes; 'I have a question for Hiei--Will you marry me?! I am a kitsune not a baka human. P.S. Cool show!'"

Hiei: ::glares at Kurama and then looks at the camera:: "Get me some Sweet Snow and we'll talk."

Kurama: "And thank you for the compliment, we're glad people enjoy our show."

Yusuke: "Yeah!" ::is thinking that maybe the show isn't such a stupid idea after all::

Kurama: "Time to read another letter!" ::picks another one out of the pile and reads it silently:: "...Er...Kuwabara, would you please go get me a, uh, brush from my office? It's on my desk."

Hiei: ::is wondering why Kurama gets an office and he doesn't::

Kuwabara: "Uh,okay." ::walks off stage::

Kurama: ::reads the letter out loud once Kuwabara is out of earshot:: "This letter is from
dustbunny690, who writes: 'Hiei do u notice that Kuwabara has a crush on ur "sister"? And if you
do notice then why don't you do anything about it? Also Don't you find it offending when Kuwabara calls you short, or don't you wish you could be taller? (I am not trying to be mean, I mean I think ur shortness is hot, and cause you kick some serious @$$. Kurama how is it that Yusuke has a gf but not u or Hiei I mean no offense Yusuke but they are much more well... I do know... cooler and hotter then you. (Kurama i'm single and a fox spirit. ^^)'"

Hiei: ::clenching his fists:: "I am aware of the fool's interest in her, and if he tries to pull anything I'll rip out his intestines and strangle him with them. As for being short, I like it and only narrow-minded bakas such as the incomptetent back there would bother trying to offend me that way. And you're correct, I do kick 'serious ass' as you put it."

Kurama: "I don't have a girlfriend because I'm really too old for all of them. ...Single and a fox spirit? ...Er, well, call me if you like."

Hiei: "Girlfriends are for human fools."

Kuwabara: ::comes back empty-handed:: "Kurama, I can't find your brush."

Kurama: "That's alright, I may have been mistaken. I don't need it anymore."

Kuwabara: "Okay. Can I do the next one?" ::picks out another letter:: "It's from CheetorX, who
writes: 'Hei,what is it like being such a shrimpy demon?'" ::snickers:: "Yeah Hiei, why don't you tell us?"

Hiei: "Hn. Better than being a baka ningen."

Yusuke: "Aw, we're not THAT bad!"

::suddenly the studio doors bust open and some fans manage to run inside before security can catch them::

Security Guy: "Kurama, we got some loose fangirls!"

Kurama: ::watches as the fangirls sit down in the audience section looking very non-rabid:: "It's alright, I think they'll be fine."

Yusuke: "Just don't let it happen again!"

Security Guy: "Y-yes sir!"

Audience Member #1: ::stands up and waves a hand in the air::

Kurama: "Yes? What's your name?"

Audience Member #1: "Ginsei Kitsune."

Kurama: "Oh, hello. What's your question, Ginsei?"

Ginsei Kitsune: ::stands up:: "Kurama I absolutely love Yu Yu Hakusho! Its so awesome!! I was
just wondering if you could possibly just smile and wave? Please? PLEASE? Just smile at me and
wave? I would honestly greatly appriciate it!"

Kurama: "In return for a compliment like that, I would be glad to." ::smiles and waves at her::

Ginsei Kitsune: ::sits back down, looking very happy::

Kuwabara: "How come I don't have any fans?" ::pouts::

Yusuke: "Who knows, who cares. Next letter!" ::picks up yet another random letter:: "This is from Juu-Kun, who writes: 'Dear Hiei, I am a good fighter and stuff, so I wanted to know, CAN I
BECOME YOUR PARTNER AN ANNIHILATE THE OTHER HUMANS ON THIS PLANET? I also wanted to know if u liked my quote about you: "He is the Forbidden Child, praise him, and be spared.'" ::looks at Hiei:: "So...?"

Hiei: ::smirks evilly:: "I'll meet you here on Friday at noon. As for your quote, it suits me perfectly."

Kurama: O_O; "...Shall we continue?" ::picks out a letter:: "This is from CPH, who writes: 'I have a question for Hiei!! ^-^ Hiei, would you help me train? I'm a fire demon too! I promise to leave all fangirliness behind. And I don't get in trouble for killing humans, so if you help me, I'll kill Kuwabaka for you!! Ok? C ya!'"

Hiei: "Sure, no problem. If you're tough enough to handle the training, that is. Kill Kuwabara? That sounds good to me."

Kuwabara: O.O;; "Why doesn't anybody love me?"

Yusuke: "I dunno, let's find out." ::reads the letter he just opened:: "This is from Shadow Shinomori, who writes: 'I got a question for Kuwabara: How come your so stupid? For Hiei: Did you ever have a girlfriend and tell the truth.'"

Kuwabara: "I'm not stupid!" ::pouts some more::

Yusuke: "I think I can answer that question. Kuwabara is so stupid because of all the times I
rammed his head into the pavement." ::snickers:: "And I heard that he was dropped on his head as a child."

Kuwabara: "Was NOT!"

Kurama: "Well it would seem that we're running short on time..."

Yusuke: "Hey Kurama, I think somebody in the audience is trying to get your attention..." ::points to a girl in the audience with long silver hair, wearing a revealing outfit that shows off her skinny frame who is waving at Kurama::

Kurama: ::blushes slightly:: "No, I don't think--"

Silver-Haired Girl: ::stands up:: "Hey! Don't pretend you don't know who I am."

Kurama: ::puts a hand on his forehead:: "Oh dear..."

SHG (Silver-Haired Girl): "Come on, you know you love me..."

Yusuke: "Hey, she's pretty cute!" ::recieves glare from Kurama:: "What? Do you know her or
something?"

Kurama: "Er--well--" ::wishes he was anywhere but here::

SHG: ::'evil' smirk:: "Fine. Act like you don't know me, but just don't leave your underwear lying in the bathroom again like you did this morning, ok?"

Kurama: O_O;;; ::blushes deeper:: "...Please, why are you doing this?"

SHG: ::teasing him:: "Doing what? I heard you had your own show, can't a little sister come and
watch her favorite big brother once and a while?"

Hiei: ::looking annoyed:: "Kurama, I thought you said she wasn't going to be a problem."

Yusuke: "Who? Kurama, is she related to you?"

Kurama: ::sighs:: "Yes, she is. She is my younger sister."

Yusuke: "Cool!" ::turns to SHG:: "Tell us some more embarrassing stuff about Kurama!"

SHG: ^_^ "Ok!" ::runs onto the stage, hugs Kurama, and looks at the camera:: "Well, like I said, he always leaves his dirty underwear on the bathroom floor, and also he--"

Kurama: "Please, turn off the camera!"

SHG: "--loves washing his hair and is REAL picky about what kinda shampoo he uses, AND yesterday he--"

Kurama: ::steps in front of his sister:: ::looks at the camera, speaking very quickly and very loudly:: "Well that's all the time we have for today, see you next time on The Hiei and Kurama Show, where we'll be having Jin as our Special Guest!" ::waves:: ^_^;;;

____________________________________________________________________________

SHG: ::watches replay:: "I look cool!"

Hiei: "Hn." ::says 'Hn' to spite all fans who hate 'Hn'::

Kurama: ::sighs:: "Yes, well...be sure to watch our show again tomorrow, when we'll be having Jin as our Special Guest!" ^_^

Yusuke: ::twirling his fingers, not enthused:: "Woooo..."

Hiei: "Tell them to stop asking me to marry them."

Kurama: "......"

Yusuke: "Alright, let us know what you think! Reviews!"

The Hiei & Kurama Show

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 17:49:18 GMT

~The Hiei and Kurama Show~
--With your hosts, Hiei and Kurama
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Scene: Your average-looking stage; dark blue background colors, a huge television screen mounted high on the wall, four or five crimson-colored chairs lined up in front of it, a mahogany table with a vase full of roses set up in front of the chairs, and black curtains separating this area from backstage.
_________________________________________________________________________

::Theme music plays and the camera zooms in on Kurama as he walks out on stage, waving politely
to the audience:: ::his fangirls all start screaming::

Kurama: "Hello, and welcome to the Hiei and Kur--" ::stops:: ::looks around, noticing that his
co-host is missing:: "Hiei? Aren't you coming out?"

Hiei: ::from backstage:: "Hn. Not on your life."

Hiei Fangirl: "AAAAAAHH! He said 'Hn!' AAAAAHHH! I love you Hiei! AAAAHH!"

Hiei: ::is scared:: ::is thinking of ways to get out of this::

Kurama: "Come on out, Hiei. I can't do this on my own." ::knows that actually he can, but doesn't want to face the rabid fangirls alone::

Hiei: ::reluctantly emerges from the backstage area::

Audience: ::cheers wildly::

Hiei: ::looks like he regrets ever having been born:: "Let's get this over with."

Kurama: ::looks pleased:: "Alright." ::sits down in one of the chairs:: "Shall we start the show with questions from the fans?"

Hiei: ::is thinking that he couldn't care less:: "Fine."

Kurama: ::is surprised to see all the audience members' hands shoot up at once:: "That's a lot of questions... Okay, you in the blue shirt, you can go first."

Fan w/ Blue Shirt: "Okay, like, I just wanna know if Kurama is, like, gay 'n' stuff."

Kurama: O.O

Hiei: ::to Kurama:: "Should I kill her?"

Kurama: "No, that won't be necessary, Hiei. To answer the question, NO I am NOT homosexual, I
have never been homosexual and I will never be homosexual. Next question please? How about you, in the red shirt?"

Fan w/ Red Shirt: "AAAAAAHHHHHH! HE CALLED ON ME!" ::faints::

Kurama: "Erm... Next question!" ::glances over at Hiei, who has his arms crossed and looks extremely bored:: "Why don't you take a question, Hiei?"

Hiei: ::looks annoyed:: "Hn. Somebody ask me something."

About 50 Fangirls: "HIEI, DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE, LIKE, SOOO HOT?"

Hiei: O.o ::cringes:: "Your turn, Kurama."

Kurama: "...Hmm... Alright. You, in the pink shirt. You have a question?"

Fan w/ Pink Shirt: "Yes! ...Um... ::looks nervous:: "Kurama, will you go out with me?"

Kurama: ::doesn't know how to respond:: ::is thinking quickly:: "...I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid I'll have to decline. I'm really quite busy." ::notices that the girl looks sad:: "But I can think about it anyway."

Fan w/ Pink Shirt: ::looks happy again:: "OK!"

Hiei: ::glaring at the audience:: "Ask me another question."

About 20 Fangirls: "WILL YOU MARRY ME HIEI??"

Hiei: O.O "......."

Hiei: O.o "................"

Hiei: ::twitches:: ::wonders if he should kill them:: ::wonders if he should kill himself::

Kurama: "...I think it's time to bring out our special guest."

Hiei: "Agreed. Let somebody else be tortured."

Kurama: "...Yes, well... Come on out..........YUSUKE URAMESHI."

Yusuke: ::walks out all matcho-like:: "Hey everyone, how's it goin'?"

Yusuke's Fangirls: "WE LOVE YOU, YUSUKE!"

Yusuke: ::grins at them:: ::turns to his friends:: "Hey Kurama, hi Hiei." ::sits down in the chair beside Kurama::

Kurama: "Hello Yusuke."

Yusuke: "So... "The Hiei and Kurama Show", huh? If I didn't have anything better to do, like being the Spirit Detective and using my cool powers to beat up bad guys, I'd be jealous." ::leans back in the chair:: "This is really comfortable."

Kurama: ::nods:: "Yes. So I understand you skipped school to be here?"

Yusuke: ::looks proud of himself:: "Yep. ...Hey, you're supposed to be in school too, Kurama. I hope your mother isn't watching this show."

Kurama: "..........." ::turns to the audience:: "So has anyone got any questions for Yusuke?"

Audience Member #1: "Hey did you know that 'Yusuke' spelled backwords is 'Ekusuy'?"

Yusuke: ::looks a little uneasy::

Audience Member #2: "Yusuke, can I sniff you?"

Yusuke: ::looks frightened::

Audience Member #3: "Yusuke, will you sign my butt?"

Yusuke: ::looks terrified::

Audience Member #4: "Yusuke! We are like, so perfect for each other! We should go out, and then
you'll be my boyfriend, and then we can get married and live in Hawaii, and have a son named
Yusuke Junior and a cat named Jonathan and a dog named Susan, and we can grow old together and
live in an old folks' home together and share fond memories of our youth together and die together!"

Yusuke: ::jumps up and hides behind Kurama::

Hiei: ::looks at Kurama again:: "Can I kill them now?"

Kurama: "No Hiei, can you imagine what that would do to our ratings?"

Hiei: ::doesn't care:: ::is thinking of doing it anyway::

::Suddenly, a huge mass of audience members run forward, making their way to the stage::

Kurama: "Oh dear..." ::grabs the bouquet of roses from the table:: ::uses a bunch of Rose Whips to create a net that would keep them safe from the rabid audience:: ::puts a seed into the vase of water, and another bouquet of roses immediately grows::

Yusuke: "Good thinking, Kurama." ::is relieved that he didn't have to run off the stage screaming bloody murder after all::

Kurama: ::is watching the audience closely as they all struggle against their entrapment::
"Unfortunately, I don't think it's going to hold..."

Random Audience Member: "But I LOVE you, Kurama!"

Fangirls: "WE LOVE YOU!"

Hiei: ::decides to kill them:: "Dragon of the Darkness Flame!" ::the dragon comes out, obliterates the audience, and blows an entire wall out as well::

Kurama: "Hiei!"

Hiei: ::doesn't care that his arm is now paralyzed with pain:: ::is now the happiest he's been all day:: "BAKA HUMANS!" ::begins to laugh evilly::

Kurama: ::while Hiei is laughing in the background:: "We...no longer have an audience to take
questions from..."

Yusuke: "Too bad." ::is thinking the exact opposite:: "What are you gonna do now?"

Kurama: "Well, there is always Plan B."

Hiei: ::hears the words 'Plan B' and abruptly stops laughing:: "Plan...B...?"

Kurama: "Why, yes, Hiei. You didn't think I hadn't thought ahead that you might do something like this, did you?" ::turns to look backstage:: "May I have the fan mail please?"

Hiei: O.o ::twitches:: "F-fan mail?"

Backstage Crew Member: "Sure thing, Kurama." ::is heard calling for assistance:: "Come on, boys!
Back her right up here!" ::a loud beeping sound is heard, like that of a large truck backing up, and suddenly a ton of mail is dumped onto the stage at Kurama's feet, creating a pile as high as the ceiling::

Kurama: O.O

Hiei: O.O

Yusuke: O.O

Kurama: ::bends down to pick up a letter:: "Well, we should probably get going. I'm sure we'll be here for a while." ::opens letter and reads it:: "This one isn't so bad. It's from Lune A. Tick. Here's what she wrote: 'Dear Hiei; I watch Yu Yu Hakusho religiously and I was just wondering--how come you say 'Hn' all the time? Isn't it pretty dumb? I mean, who says 'Hn' anyway? It just sounds retarded... Anyway, would you be interested in a date with me?'" ::Kurama finishes reading and looks up at Hiei. "Well?"

Hiei: ::is disgusted:: "Hn." ::says 'Hn' just to spite the fan:: "Another foolish question from another human fool. I don't know why I say 'Hn', why are humans such bakas? ...And why the hell would I ever even consider dating somebody who just insulted me?"

Kurama: ".....Fair enough. Next letter." ::picks out another one:: "It's from Anonymous: 'Dear
Urameshi; You're a pretty tough guy but I could own you any day. P.S.--I heard you singing in the shower and it wasn't pretty.'"

Yusuke: ::looks annoyed:: "Was that from Kuwabara? ...I'm gonna kill him..."

Hiei: "I'd gladly help."

Kurama: "Let's go on to the next letter, shall we?" ::selects yet another letter from the pile:: "This is from Cheese Whiz Man: 'Dear Kurama; Do you ever get wedgies?'"

Kurama: O.o ::puts letter down:: "Wedgies? ...Well, I suppose everyone gets these so-called
'wedgies' once in a while..." ::is thinking, 'what an embarrassing question'::

Hiei: "Not me."

Yusuke: ::sneaks behind Hiei, grabs his pants, and yanks upwards:: "Well say hello to your first
wedgie!" ::snickers::

Hiei: O_O;;

Hiei: ::pulls his pants back down to their rightful place:: "I should kill you for that..." ::is seriously considering doing just that::

::Suddenly a loud buzzer sounds::

Kurama: "Well what do you know, it seems that we are all out of time."

Yusuke: ::flatly:: "Oh that's too bad. I was really looking forward to answering more stupid
questions."

Kurama: ::pretends he didn't realize Yusuke was being sarcastic:: "Great, Yusuke. You can come
back on the show tomorrow, when we'll be interviewing another guest and hopefully have that wall
repaired as well."

Hiei: ::grumbles that nobody ever asked him if he even wanted to be in the show in the first place::

Kurama: "Right. Well, until next time, this is goodbye. See you all next time (hopefully) on 'The Hiei and Kurama Show'."

________________________________________________________________________

Kurama: ::watches replay:: "Our show wasn't that bad, Hiei."

Hiei: "Hn." ::says 'Hn' to spite the fan once more::

Kurama: ::sighs:: "Yes, well...to all our fans out there, our next guest will be Kuwabara, so be sure to tune in and watch our show!" ^_^

Yusuke: ::in dull tone:: "Riiiight. Wouldn't wanna miss that, would we?"

Hiei: "Hn."

Kurama: ::looks at camera:: "Now would you all kindly tell us what you think of our show?"

Yusuke: "Alright, people, you heard him! Reviews!"